Weekly Pep Talk - Mark McIntosh

This week's Pep Talk: "A Good Gospel"

2012-01-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

Like many of you, this simple dude from Missouri is an early riser. I can still remember wonderful parents and others in my youth declaring, “The early bird gets the worm.” It has always resonated with me. Wouldn’t you know it, opposites attract.

My darling girlfriend is a night owl. We don’t live together but on nights where daddy duty does not beckon, and she’s not traveling, I’m usually snuggled up against my soul mate. She struggles to comprehend why, even on the weekends, yours truly rarely allows the light of day to win the call to action. In a loving way she tells me, “It would be nice to wake up with you next to me, at least on weekends.” I’ll try, K?

In keeping with that declaration, recently, while she slept soundly on a Saturday morning, I’m lying in bed deleting unwanted photos from my cell phone. I was having storage-space problems on the darn thing and an employee at a T-Mobile store had told me, “Delete some of those photos.” I thought this was a winner: staying in bed making my love happy and getting some work done - that’s a dynamic duo!

I’m staring at a photo, taken about a year ago, of my teenage daughter’s back. We were standing in line at a Smashburger restaurant after one of her volleyball practices. For whatever reason, spirit moved me to take a picture of the statement on the back of her shirt: “We write our script daily.” That was Juggernaut volleyball’s 2011 season motto.

Lying in bed staring at that picture - saved - took cranium to another moment, many years ago, centered around darling daughter, who by the way, has made an impressive debut as a driver. Now 15 years old, she has a learner’s permit. I have a chauffeur. We make a good team.

Many years ago when this excellent volleyball player was quite younger she came home from parochial school one day and tossed backpack onto counter. I was looking through the darn thing - why do backpacks weigh so much? - seeking to discover what needed to be read, signed and sent back; discarded as trash or left untouched. In this process, I noticed a small piece of paper. Apparently from the children’s Mass earlier that Wednesday at school, it read: “We are writing our gospel a chapter a day, by the deeds we do, the words we say. Others will read what we write, determine whether it’s faithful and true. What’s the gospel according to you.”

I dunno about you, but that statement warms the marrow and I’ve used it often when presenting Pep Talks to audiences. To me, it’s asking us this: What’s our story? We’re writing it a chapter a day, by the deeds we do and the words we say, right? Trust me, I’ve been called lots of things in life, smart rarely one of them, but you can bet others will read, or watch, what we write and determine whether it’s faithful and true. What’s the gospel, what’s the story, according to us?

Is our story faithful and true? Does it honor us, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to communities served wherever we roam - home, work and elsewhere? If not, why not start today?

The task of writing a good gospel ain’t easy, right? Many things will entice us to stray, don’t. Stay strong and don’t be afraid to ask for help when thoughts of surrender invade mind, body and soul tempting us to stray from this honorable quest.

Lying in bed next to my sweetie, deleting lousy photos led to a beautiful reminder of one of life’s great truths. We write our gospel a chapter a day. This week, let’s make it a good one!

This week's Pep Talk: "Bucket List Bye Byes"

2012-01-22T12:13:00.001-07:00

Anybody out there own a bucket list? Ya know, those dreams you want to make reality? For me a few things come immediately to mind: sing the national anthem at a sporting event; rent a motor home, tour the nation, attend important college football games and then write a book about the experience. Those are a few things at the top my list. There’s no list on a wall, or other reminder, but I think about each a lot and dream.

That dynamic duo had a third member until recently when hosting a comedy show was booted from the team. Thanks to a college buddy, turned outstanding comic, the team at Denver’s Improv Comedy and friends from many places, this simple dude from Missouri fulfilled that dream on, no kidding, Friday the 13th. Appropriate.

So many wonderful memories of a great night but one really sticks out: the thrill of introducing someone admired. Mark Cordes. Your humble correspondent, a few years back, went to Mizzou with this amazing guy. What we remember of it, brings smiles to our faces. Rival fraternities but kindred spirits. The Kansas City native is a great guy and one funny dude. He put fear aside and 23 years ago, said adios to the corporate world and allowed wonderment to win in chasing a comedic career. Good for him and us. He’s talented. Hall of fame comic Robin Williams came backstage recently and told the avid golfer, “You’re good.” For me that would be like, I dunno, Norman Vincent Peale sitting in the front row and nodding approvingly to a Pep Talk? A validation of effort from a master of your craft? Strong. Powerful.

I had the thrill of exalting this brother from another mother to a large and appreciative crowd. The pride of Truman High School is three years my senior. The times we shared in school where usually centered around two things: sports and parties. He’s real big on people, in healthy and productive ways, getting out and having some fun. As smart as he is funny, the buddy with a beloved wife, likes to joke, when talking about having a little fun in life and its importance, of this truth: “None of us is getting out of here alive.” Amen to that brother.

We had a blast doing the show. I learned a lot too. Cordes and his fellow Improv cohort Gary Menke taught me a few things about their world and had the crowd chuckling all night long. A bucket list-clearing moment for which, I’m grateful and blessed. However, at this time, cranium remains focused on the importance of fun. I think it should be a priority. We all know life has those unwanted and unexpected twists and turns that leave us wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?” But, despite that truth, try, when possible, to have a little fun. Make it a priority. However, here’s where it gets tricky. A priority of having fun must coexist with honoring, nurturing and adding value to communities we serve, right?

Priorities. Defined in Oxford American Dictionary as “something more important than other considerations.” Having the chance to boot the bucket, exalt a buddy and be reminded of the joy it brings takes us to this: Priorities. Where are ours right now? Is there any venue - home, work or elsewhere - where there’s room for priority improvement?

I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely is one of them but it seems to me that the better we handle life’s important priorities, wherever we roam, the greater the chance for stuff like love, joy and fun to flourish.

We’ve heard that phrase, “Good things come in threes” right? Well, give me that terrific trio of love, joy and fun anytime and anyplace. Hey, let’s be honest, life doesn’t work that way, we know that, right? But when love, joy and fun come together it’s memorable and warms the marrow. Sow the seeds for such moments this week by handling priorities. Who knows, something on your bucket list might say bye-bye too. Good luck!

This week's Pep Talk: "The Effort Alone"

2012-01-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

There are moments when life gives us wonderful examples of possibility. Often these reminders go largely unnoticed. But then again, sometimes amazing feats occur before a massive audience. The Denver Broncos recent upset overtime win over the heavily-favored Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC playoffs is a good example.

Ironically, Denver’s first playoff win since 2005 was, for this simple dude from Missouri, a second powerful reminder of, my opinion, a great truth: hard work, smart decisions and teamwork can spark tremendous accomplishment - home, work and elsewhere, including a football field.

And, a volleyball court. On this second Sunday of January 2012, the initial reminder of this terrific trio’s power forced me to listen to the first half of the Broncos/Steelers thriller on radio. I was driving back from Colorado Springs, Colorado. It was opening day for a team of young ladies, including precious daughter, who play volleyball for Juggernaut, a club team based in Denver. This group of high-school freshmen girls showed similar resolve - hard work, smart decisions and teamwork - in playing winning volleyball in five matches played over seven hours.

Hard work. Smart decisions. Teamwork. It seems, just my opinion, to greatly enhance chances of victory wherever we roam. Sorry, concentration on this Pep Talk was interrupted briefly by a buddy - who also had a daughter playing in the volleyball tournament - texting me about the Broncos improbable victory, the Iowa native wrote: “I prefer my crow fried so it tastes like chicken. How do you like yours? Unbelievable!”

Long-time mentor and buddy Bill McCartney and I share mud - what he calls coffee - and water often these days. Frequently, for whatever reason, the leadership-centered conversation steers toward a quotation near and dear to our hearts. It’s a statement attributed to Vince Lombardi. The New York native studied for the priesthood and attended law school before shifting his focus to football. Ultimately, Lombardi would, in the 1960’s, lead the Green Bay Packers to five world championships. The Super Bowl champion each year hoists a trophy named after the legendary coach who tragically died far too young of cancer at 57 and once muttered: “I firmly believe any man’s - substitute woman, child or other moniker here - finest hours is that moment when he has worked his heart out in good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.”

Amen to that! Life often takes us on unexpected and unwanted journeys leaving us perplexed and wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?” Few gave the Broncos a snowball’s chance in Hades of beating the Steelers. Few parents expected teenage girls who love to sleep, as much as they love to shop, rise early and play inspired volleyball. Where might it be time for us to take a cue from these examples and display great resolve in working hard, playing smart and rallying with like-minded folks in conquering whatever ails us - home, work and community? This is just my opinion, but while venues change - football field, volleyball court, workplace, home or neighborhood - strategies for success remain the same. I know, simple, not easy, right?

Perhaps it comes down to this. Wherever we roam, let’s promise one another our best effort. Let’s promise one another, even in bleak moments, to work hard, play smart and unite in ways honoring us, nurturing those dependent upon us and adding value to communities we serve.

The community served might be a football team, volleyball squad, family, business, church, service club - whatever. Let’s work our hearts out in good cause. While there is no guarantee of lying exhausted on the battlefield victorious, the effort alone will make us winners.

This week's Pep Talk: "High Alert for Good"

2012-01-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

Billy Joel and his band are entertaining with The Ballad of Billy the Kid in the background and your humble correspondent has just returned from harassing the neighbors for a bit. In truth, I went up the street to say thanks for them watching the house while I was away and, in case I didn’t see them later in the evening, wish “Happy New Year” as Twenty Twelve rolls ashore in our lives.

“How was Chicago?” wonders a devoted wife, mother and friend with a grin. “Did you have fun?” Let me tell ya folks. It was awesome. There are many to thank but one stands above: my darling girlfriend, Kathy. We’re in the Windy City - for its politics - visiting her family and the love of my life surprises this simple dude from Missouri with an extra special present once we landed at O’Hare: 22-year-old son Kyle secretly flown in from Los Angeles for the week.

I didn’t have a clue but apparently many close friends in Denver and Chicago also helped mightily to pull this off. I was shocked. Kathy and I are sitting in the car waiting for brother-in-law Victor - married to the one-and-only Mary, Kathy’s sister - supposedly fetching one of his state managers from another flight. Kathy tells me, “Hey, you have one more gift to open here in Chicago.” It was Christmas Day afternoon. “Oh, yea, what’s that?” I wondered. “Turn around” she directs. I had no response, just a big holler. My son, two days past his 22nd birthday, was sneaked into town thanks to an incredible woman. No wonder so many people in the staffing business love to work for her. She has a very big heart and enjoys doing good things for others. I’m the lucky recipient in many ways. Yeah me.

Trust me when I say this, because it’s the truth, while writing the first draft of this Pep Talk, Frank Sinatra’s Fly Me to the Moon was playing from the Ipad. That is Kathy’s favorite song. Is that luck, or something else? I say the latter but also understand others think I’m crazy too. That’s okay. I would say, and it’s just my opinion, our desire to promote unity of spirt would benefit greatly if we focused on doing good things for each other. It’s always been a favorite Bible verse for me, Galatians 6:9: “Never grow weary of doing good things for each other because at the proper time you will reap the harvest if you just don’t give up.”

Kathy Gans walks that talk daily. Lucky me, my kids and many others whether family, friend or business associate. We can too. We can decide the best strategy is doing good. While there is no guarantees of success, it sure makes life fun. Sure, we get burned, perhaps too often, but the rewards are worth the effort. My darling girlfriend knew what it would mean to me to have my ambitious, fun and focused 22-year-old son close for a bit. We had a blast with others we love dearly.

We’re challenged to “never grow weary of doing good for at the proper time we’ll reap the harvest if we just don’t give up.” That word “proper” has always fascinated me. Who decides when the time is proper? Anyway, the point is this: Kathy Gans’ bone-marrow belief of never growing weary of doing good makes her the apple of my eye. Who out there in Twenty Twelve could use, in healthy and productive ways, a loving booster-like mentality from us? Home, work or elsewhere?

Where could perhaps a loving gesture from one of us bring great joy to another? Let’s make sure we look around for opportunities. I share water and mud with buddy Bill McCartney often and when talking about being receptive to something his eyes grow wider while declaring, “Have your reticular activating system on high alert!” Amen buddy.

This week have that “reticular activating system on high alert” in doing good for others. It works!

This week's Pep Talk: "Listen More, Speak Less"

2011-12-31T12:00:00.001-07:00

It’s the final day of the final month. It’s late in the fourth quarter of 2011 and here we gather. For some I would suspect, for a variety of reasons, it was a tad difficult 365 days. So, and you know what’s coming here, we have a decision looming concerning our recent past. Are we going to become a student of its experiences or victim of its circumstances?

Now, having said that, it’s certainly realized, for many, there have been unimaginable events that have us wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?” Perhaps it was the sudden death of child; deep pain of divorce; big drop in finances or other despair creating moments burrowed deep within. Momentous, as offered in Pep Talk presentations, “Pokes in the eye.”

Those moments of life where our souls bleed. It ain’t a pretty place to dwell. I have been blessed over the years with mentors encouraging me - when soul was bleeding - to carry on. I love what buddy Bill McCartney says about the subject. We talk often over water and mud. The subject frequently centers around those times in life when, as my mentor would say, “We gotta lie on the battlefield for a bit and bleed. But then we must rise and carry on.” I don’t know about you but that makes this old jock’s marrow warm.

I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, so this is just my opinion, but to consistently “rise and carry on” is a good trait to possess considering life’s uncertainty, right? Please tell me the answer to that question is yes! Simple, not easy, right? So, would it not be wise to surround ourselves with like-minded folks? Other determined human beings committed to “rising and carrying on?”

The task before us, turning life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas will be challenging. Somebody wrote a book about that, right? Anyway, we will probably need encouragement for the journey of learning from, not becoming victim of, life and its unexpected and unwanted twists and turns that make us want to text, email or write, “WTF!”

It’s late Saturday morning in the Mile High City. The wind is howling outside while Billy Joel’s Lights on Broadway blares behind me and it makes me think of another buddy. I had just emailed an exaltation to this dynamic business leader. Then cranium jumped to the sports talk show I co-host with Jimmy Doogan each weekday afternoon on Mile High Sports Radio. It’s a good problem to have, but as the call volume increases, out of respect for others, we need to encourage our wonderful listeners to, as I was taught at the University of Missouri School of Journalism long ago, “Be clear, concise and compelling.”

It’s a terrific trio ain’t it? If we’re clear, concise and compelling with one another it creates an environment fostering honesty, clarity and engagement. Give me honesty, clarity and engagement on a consistent basis and I like our chances to claim victory against whatever ails wherever we roam. The venue may change but the strategy remains the same!

And here’s - again just thoughts - what really is cool about a clear, concise and compelling trio transforming into an equally - maybe more? - beneficial trio of honesty, clarity and engagement. It starts with us listening more.

You see, if we’re clear, concise and compelling we talk less and listen more. We get our point across quickly so others can speak and we can listen. Who knows, maybe we’ll learn something beneficial in honoring us, nurturing those dependent upon us and adding value to the communities we serve. Dang, you can imagine?

Maybe that’s where this should stop. Billy is wailing through Everybody Loves You Now and here’s a quick little prayer for each of us as we try and excel in 2012: “May we be joyful for the blessings of life; optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Also, as the New Year begins, give us the strength and courage to be clear, concise and compelling with whomever we meet. In doing so, it will allow time for us to listen more and speak less. God knows that’s a good thing!”

Amen to that. Happy New Year!

This week's Pep Talk: "Fair, Reasonable and Agreeable"

2011-12-26T10:12:00.002-07:00

Consistent readers of this weekly musing, and folks who have heard me speak in person, know the message often includes this belief: when facing challenging moments in life, we must have “the courage to put fear and self doubt aside and allow wonderment to win.”

Usually when talking, or writing, about courage trumping fear my mind wanders to a buddy and long-time mentor Dr. Jerry Gibson. He’s in his eighties these days but still has the passion and enthusiasm of someone half his age. The former University of Illinois football team chaplain and I used to have wonderful breakfasts together in the Mile High City before he and beautiful wife Normadeene moved to Arizona about a year ago.

I’ll never forget one conversation about the importance of courage and risk taking in reaching desired goals, when the retired minister proclaimed, “Mark, when it comes to risk taking we could learn from turtles.” I almost spit out my oatmeal while chuckling but was able to query, “What the heck are you talking about, we could learn from turtles?” With a grin as wide as the chasm separating America’s rival political parties, Gibson responded, “Think about it. A turtle doesn’t make any progress until sticking its neck out!” Ya know he has a point. So, here goes: I’m gonna stick my neck out.

For the past seven years, folks like you, have received a weekly Pep Talk. A short story, from life experiences, designed to encourage others to play like champions - home, work and elsewhere. Two years ago, Victory Productions added a Daily Dose of encouragement via mobile device texts. Each product has the same mission: help you effectively deal with change, challenge and adversity and keep your spirit hopeful. The writing and distribution of these services takes time and money.

As a small business owner, - many of you can relate too - we must constantly evaluate where we’re spending time and resources, right? A trusted advisor challenged me recently, “Mark, you need to discover what value others believe your writings bring to their lives. You need to have the courage to ask.” He’s right. How many businesses survive when providing services/products for free? After prayer and deliberation, I am asking for a $20 annual subscription fee in consideration of the time and effort required to produce Pep Talk and Daily Dose.

I hope you agree. Yes, it will cost a little but, trust me, it will mean a lot toward Victory Productions’ ability to provide these services. For every $20 payment received before January 1st, 2012, $5 will be donated to Widow’s Walk, www.widowswalk.com, a Denver-based non profit providing support and services to women and families who have lost a husband and father.

Thanks for considering this value proposition. I hope you find it fair, reasonable and agreeable. At this time, I hope you find life in a similar fashion too. Happy Holidays! Here's where you can subscribe to Pep Talk/Daily Dose: http://www.seekvictory.com/books.html.

This week's Pep Talk: "Two Men Named Mac"

2011-12-18T07:38:00.001-07:00

It was a Saturday Centennial State day eight days before Christmas; everybody on the planet is talking Tebow in the buildup to the Broncos and Patriots and I’m doing laundry. While the cat snores beside me, a few thoughts crashed into the cranium, including:

My wonderful father. Most folks who knew the personable and trustworthy dude called him “Mac.” What sparked remembrance of a golfing buddy who passed back in 2007, was a conversation with another guy most know as “Mac.” That would be Bill McCartney.

Coach Mac and I have known each other a long time and we’re hitting the road to speak to groups about life and leadership. Yeah, as he likes to say, “The righty with the high hard one and the lefty with the off speed - off beat? - stuff.” Yeah, we’re a team. He’s the coach, I’m the quarterback. Which is appropriate. Anyway, we had just wrapped up a productive phone call that ended because he and his darling wife Lyndi were hustling to their grandson’s basketball game. After hanging up the phone, I paused and gave thanks for Coach Mac. For whatever reason, that joy shifted my spirit to Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr., my old man.

They have each been wonderful mentors. In fact, when I was going through my first painful divorce years ago, these two men were in the fox hole with me. Marv Mac, who lived in Kansas City, would call weekly and visit often. Meanwhile Coach Mac, then leading the University of Colorado football program, would write often. Each was always encouraging me to overcome adversity. As I like to joke, “turn life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - sweet and savory margaritas.” Somebody wrote a book with that silly title, right?

Back to the point. I’ve always been a big fan of “spirit” and its power. Whether it’s been a team, person, organization and other stuff, my opinion, we’re usually attracted to others because of a similar spirit, right? Well, I’m a damn lucky dude to have Marv Mac and Coach Mac as mentors. They have similar spirits and they inspire me.

To me it’s a great example of someone’s spirit, Marv Mac’s, being alive and well through another, Coach Mac. Hey, it’s just my opinion, but I think it’s pretty cool. The experience, did make me think of my father and brought tears to my eyes. The beautiful part is they were tears of joy. Never a bad thing to have show up every once in a while, right? I hope, in the craziness that is the holiday season, joy’s showing up for you too. For those where that just ain’t possible, for a variety of reasons, a quick prayer: “May you find strength from above, below, within or wherever to hang in there and believe better days lie ahead. Cling like heck to hope!”

As we scurry about looking for the special gift for someone this holiday season, how about this? Let’s call, or write a hand-written note, folks who showed us how to cling to hope in the challenging times and give them thanks and praise.

Two men named Mac took me to thanks and praise. It’s a good spot to dwell. One I hope you find as well this busy time of year. Blessings.

This week's Pep Talk: "Unshackled Spirit"

2011-12-11T11:21:00.001-07:00

Do you have a favorite moment of the week? You know, an event? It might be poker night, Pilates workout, coffee with a long-time friend, dinner with your precious daughter, date night with your darling girlfriend, quiet time with an aging parent, volunteering for a cause - whatever?

Do you have a special time of each and every week reserved for something that sparks joy? I sure hope so. I also know life, and its unexpected twists and turns, can often make that desirable quest easier said than done, right? Well, I’m blessed. Friday mornings, I get the chance to huddle with a bunch of knuckleheads and talk about our faith. We’re just a bunch of “jacked up dudes” who happen to share a real passion for following Jesus. Usually about 15-20 strong, we love to gather in a business office conference room and lambast, cajole, encourage and pray for one another to have the strength to be mighty men for our families, businesses and communities. We call it Platoon. Others might suggest, Animal House.

It’s a tough crowd, like a football team. We know the battle will be difficult and love the weekly camaraderie and its value in helping us dig deep for the resolve to claim victory in living our faith. We’re big on “actions speak louder than words.” The group is led by LeRoy Matticks. We call him the Coach. He and I, along with Carl Medearis, also host a 15-minute radio show each weekday called, Street Theology: A Different Look. You can learn more about that at www.streettheology.com.

Anyway, back to the story, at this week’s meeting a question was asked: “Do you see your problems as the start of a great opportunity?” We had animated conversation centered around that thought-provoking question. Matticks, a western Nebraska native - don’t hold it against him please - brings important figures of the Bible alive in ways I’ve never experienced. He had just told us the story of two buddies long ago, who also thought the world of Jesus. They were imprisoned for it but still displayed joy, optimism and courage despite dire straights.

The world’s best-selling book on wisdom, translated into more than 2,500 languages, shares the story in Acts. It’s about Paul and Silas having a real bad day if you consider imprisoned, shackled and beaten less than best. However, the pair managed to keep a good attitude and rallied for dramatic victory and historical induction. If I could steal one from the sports world: Hall of Famers. If they’re not playing golf with my old man maybe they’re having a cold one together, somewhere. How would you like to sit down with those two dudes over a beer? For all the event planners out there, that would be a great auction item wouldn’t it?

Ya know, I might be a fruitcake, but folks, that seems a good example of seeing your problems as the start of a good opportunity. The gathered men of Platoon sat in relative silence for awhile, soaking in the meaning and how it applies to us, when a guest shared his story. It burrowed deep into the marrow of every man present and took the message from past to present.

He and his wife were homeless. He had been sober for about a month. He earnestly seems dedicated to transformation. In his late 50‘s, the Oklahoma native’s dream is to move to South Dakota and serve others on an Indian reservation. He was seeing his problems - homeless and jobless - as the start of a great opportunity to never grow weary of doing good. I had the thrill of sitting next to Marcos - what are the odds? - and we shared three or four hugs in the hour and a half together. He has a wonderful spirit right now. It’s my prayer it never departs.

What about us? No doubt we have some challenges in life right now, right? Maybe it has to do with a job situation; a relationship unraveling; a malignant tumor; a child severely injured - stuff happens, right? We have those moments when we’re wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?”

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s when we must make a choice, choose wisely, K? Be a student, not victim. Keep an unshackled spirit toward challenges. Whether long ago in a prison, a few days ago in an office or, right now, in life - home, work or elsewhere.

I dunno, just a simple dude from Missouri; been called many things in life, smart rarely one of them, but this much I believe: while there’s no guarantee of success, possessing an unshackled spirit seems, if used wisely, to increase the odds we prevail against whatever foe might ail us.

Thanks for your time, attention and willingness to connect. I hope this Pep Talk is received as intended and encourages others to accept diversity of belief while working like heck to promote unity of spirit.

This week's Pep Talk: "Riches Money Can't Buy"

2011-12-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

It was a snowy Saturday in the Mile High City. The much-needed white stuff had been falling since overnight. My unofficial measuring stick, the backyard patio table, seemed to suggest about eight inches or more - needed moisture for which we give thanks. It was noon time. The news of the day was Herman Cain suspending his presidential campaign.

While that unfolded on the television in the background, I’m parked at the counter separating kitchen from family room. The cat snored on a chair nearby. I’m reading correspondence on Facebook after encouraging others there to “think about their neighbors who might need some help with shoveling.” The return musings of wonderful Centennial State residents doing good works warms my heart on a chilly day. The stories are powerful, at least for me, examples of what the world’s best-selling book suggests we do for one another. In Galatians we’re encouraged to “never grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time, we’ll reap the harvest if we just don’t give up.”

I have always loved that verse. The real challenge is living it. There are times in life when you wonder, “Okay, when am I gonna reap the harvest if I just don’t give up?” It makes me wonder about historical figures: Christopher Columbus, Abe Lincoln, Booker T. Washington, Betty Friedman, Henry David Thoreau, Jane Addams and many others from a list of the 100 most influential Americans I found on the Internet. Before these folks, and other honorable American-history influencers, did something very cool to make the record books, surely they must have had moments when they wanted to shout, “This sucks, I give up!”

But somehow they persevered and continued to never grow weary of doing good. That good might have been abolishing slavery, stressing education for the uneducated, fighting for women’s rights - whatever. The bottom line is, for some reason, there was a spirit inside these pioneers of progress encouraging them to continue, despite the adversity, the quest for mission success.

What inspires such resolve, defined as “great determination?” What separates those who keep faith in their vision, persevere and ultimately, achieve their goal? What is it that allows some to stay rooted in courage and wonderment and not become mired in the muck of fear and self doubt? That is a tricky question, that, for a simple dude from Missouri comes down to faith - home, work or elsewhere.

Let me give you an example. I know a guy who seven years ago began a journey, through writing, speaking and consulting, to encourage others to play like champions in the game of life and exalt those who demonstrate those abilities. The father of two beautiful and maturing kids has invested most of his life savings in the endeavor. The fitness fanatic feels truly called, considering his life experiences, unique talents and personality, to exalt and encourage others to live their lives in ways that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve.

I know him pretty well and know, financially, times are tough. The southpaw likes to joke, “I’m broke but consider myself richly blessed.” He’s fighting to remain rooted in courage and wonderment. By the way, that guy would be me.

Without question, in addition to your humble correspondent, you probably know others who might need an encouraging word right now to continue chasing their dreams. Maybe it’s one of your kids; an aging parent; neighbor; friend or a complete stranger.

Let’s never grow weary of doing good for each other, okay? I believe it will help us “reap the harvest if we just don’t give up.” Thanks for your time, I’m gonna go shovel my elderly neighbor’s sidewalk. Will it help my business achieve success down the road? I have no idea. However, this much I do know. It makes me feel good and provides riches money can’t buy.

This week's Pep Talk: "Whisper Greatness"

2011-11-27T08:38:00.002-07:00

Is anybody out there trying to raise teenagers and, at the same time, trying to care for aging parents? It certainly has its challenges, right? The question becomes, how we will respond?

The journey through these often turbulent waters requires patience, love, discipline, courage, gentleness and, when you feel like tearing your hair out, or lashing out, self control. Full disclosure, I could improve in all areas. Beautiful human beings: those who created us and those we created; we ache when they ache; weep when they weep; rejoice when they rejoice.

Constant thoughts about life as a member of what I like to call the “Sandwich Generation” controlled my cranium following a workout at my sister’s home during the Thanksgiving weekend. A few days earlier she had suggested I read a letter placed beneath glass on the dresser inside the guest bedroom that was my residence. I finally had a moment, grabbed my reading glasses and discovered a wonderful reminder to what, when it comes to concern for chronically-advancing children or parents, ailed an aching heart.

It was a short letter written a few years ago by my late father to my niece - my sister’s daughter - during her senior year of high school. A standout prep athlete, she had just decided to play college basketball for Washburn University. My father, before his passing in 2007, was known for an upbeat personality and positive outlook. He had read a story in the Kansas City Star about Washburn’s women’s basketball team, nicknamed the Lady Blues. He had clipped the article and wrote a short note to a young woman finishing a successful high school career and looking forward to chasing collegiate dreams for the Topeka, Kansas university known for its excellence in women ‘s basketball. Here’s what he shared:

Dearest Had (short for Hadleigh):

Thought you might like this article on the Lady Blues. Your play last night at Fort Osage (the opponent) was something to behold and confirms all I have known was you since you started your drive to be a great basketball player. Your leadership, character and ability was so evident and you are definitely in control of your destiny. I am so proud of you and the beautiful person you have become. All the best is yet to come.

Love, Grandpa.

Suddenly tears joined sweat upon my face. A short and encouraging note reminded me of, not only, a loving father but of another person too. A wonderful friend and his recent wise words. I had spoken with this mentor about feelings of inadequacy in helping, in healthy and productive ways, a developing teenager and aging parent. His words were brief, simple and powerful: “Whisper greatness.”

That’s exactly what a grandfather, in his letter to a grandchild, had offered; that’s exactly what a friend, in his encouragement to me, had suggested; it’s what each of us could do to whomever - child, parent, friend or foe - needs an encouraging word.

Ya never know, this week, our soothing words may just inspire a soul - whisper greatness.

This week's Pep Talk: "Out of Love"

2011-11-20T08:09:00.001-07:00

It was late on a Thursday evening and I’m driving back from Boulder, Colorado after an event that brings great joy to my heart: since September, each Thursday night “Coach Mac’s Feast and Fix” feeds, entertains and, we hope, inspires others. It’s a bunch of CU football fanatics who are buffs to the bone in support of head coach Jon Embree, staff, players and everybody else trying like heck to restore the fortunes of the football program.

It’s a fun night out that brings together folks around a common goal: unwavering support of the challenging restoration project ahead. The Buffs, from the late ‘1980‘s through early 2000‘s won a national title, many conference titles and recruited many great players who went on to great success in the National Football League. The Buffs during that span, under Bill McCartney, Rick Neuheisel and Gary Barnett were an elite program - not so much right now.

So each Thursday night, McCartney challenges a growing number of folks, bellies full of Pasta Jay’s great food served within the beautiful confines of Gebhardt BMW - great event space - to unite. It’s been a lot of fun hearing the funny, heartwarming and courageous stories guests - players, coaches, staff - share. The crowd also gets an inspiring leadership message and poem from McCartney. Yeah, that’s right, the tough and intense football coach? Yeah, he loves to write poetry and shares a poem, written to honor the guests, with the audience right before the event closes with the school’s fight song. Trust me, it’s worth the price of admission.

Anyway, back to the point. I was driving home from the “Feast and Fix” and had three “to go” boxes of food. I wasn’t hungry but I had grabbed three of the boxes before departing because of a great lesson I learned long ago, when covering the CU Buffs football team as a sports guy at KCNC-TV in Denver. I did that from 1988-2005 and traveled on the team plane for most of those years. You become part of the family in many ways. Well, former Buff All American Bobby Anderson, who was on the radio team back then, would always grab leftover sack lunches left on the plane once we landed back in the Mile High City after what was usually, considering the years we covered the team, victories by the Buffs.

A lot of the kids, after a grueling football game, get on the plane and sleep, listen to music, chill - lots of food is left over. Anderson used to scoop all the unopened meals and take them to a homeless shelter in the area. I always thought that was pretty cool.

So I had grabbed the food, headed back to Denver and pulled up to an area of downtown known for having hungry folks congregated. I pulled up and asked, “Anybody hungry?” A few folks immediately came to my window and, in a respectful way, took the food. Then another approached, looking famished and forlorn: “Do you have any more?”

I didn’t and felt terrible. The ten minutes that remained on the drive home changed dramatically: what had been a joyful night became quite reflective. Did I create more problems? Did they fight over the food? What about the woman who, unless the others shared, might go hungry? Doubts about whether it was the right thing crashed into my cranium.

I don’t have an answer for that, but this much I do know. In the best-selling book ever written, in Galatians, we’re encouraged to “never grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time, you’ll reap the harvest if you just don’t give up.”

It just makes sense, right? Hungry people, need some food, care for them. The gesture was meant out of love. Let’s try like heck this week to never grow weary of thoughts, words and actions meant out of love. I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, but it just seems if we dwell there, wow, against such things, there is no law!

This week's Pep Talk: "No Exceptions"

2011-11-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

The music was the usual, old-time favorites, as I burrowed deeper into another day of cleaning gutters, raking leaves and winterizing the back yard. The early 70’s hit “Everybody Plays the Fool” was on the radio.

Here’s a little history. The song rose to number three on the charts in 1972. I recall that year well. My older brother was a high school senior and played for the Raytown South Cardinals who, that year, won their second Missouri state basketball title under legendary coach Bud Lathrop. I later played for the incredible coach and owe much to him. I remember the man, year and song with fondness.

According to Wikipedia, a trio, The Main Ingredient, recorded the song which was nominated for a Grammy the following year. For Cuba Gooding, Sr., Tony Silvester and Luther Williams, Jr. it was their biggest hit as a team. I’ve always loved the lyrics for their truth: we all have “played the fool” a few times in life, right? The subsequent lyrics certainly suggest that, stating - “no exceptions to the rule.”

In those “What the heck is going on here?” moments, the question becomes, “How are we going to react? Are we going to learn from the experience or become a victim of the circumstance? You know the best answer. Easier said than done, right? It’s easy to talk about turning life’s lemons into - heck with lemonade - sweet and savory margaritas but far more difficult to accomplish. We’ve been hit from the blindside and it’s a struggle to rise and fight again - do. My buddy Bill McCartney would say, “sometimes you have to lie on the battle field, bleed a little, then rise and march on.”

Amen brother.

Back to “Everybody Plays the Fool” and the lyrics, “no exception to the rule” and their importance to dealing with life’s unexpected twists and turns. Here it is. When we’ve played the fool it’s critical to repent to anyone we’ve harmed but equally important to forgive ourselves. We can’t keep dragging that hurt and disappointment around with us. It’s like a beer belly, easy to notice and not good for us.

I have always loved in the Bible what it says in Colossians. The Apostle Paul, writing while imprisoned in Rome, encourages folks in Colosse - western Turkey along the Lycus River today - to “be gentle and forgiving, never hold a grudge; remember the Lord forgave us, we must forgive others.” I have always tried like heck to live that truth, would encourage you to try the same and would like to add a bit to the “forgive others” end of the verse: “starting with ourselves.”

We can’t, or shouldn’t, beat ourselves up too long. We have to rise, dust ourselves off and move on down the road. It ain’t easy - few rewarding things in life are, right? - but try and stay focused on learning from the experience and determined to become superior to our former selves in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve - home, work and elsewhere.

The song ended and for a bit, so did the yard work. A song tugged the heart strings, activated the spirit and inspired me to share what crashed into cranium. In conclusion, can I tell ya something? I hope and pray a few encouraging words about not beating ourselves up is received as intended: everybody plays the fool; there are no exceptions to the rule but hang in there, persevere, learn and grow.

Blessings to ya and good luck!

This week's Pep Talk: "On Our Hearts"

2011-11-06T07:26:00.001-07:00

It was one of those Centennial State early November weekend days that, at least for me proclaims, “Dang, I love living here.” A good bit of vegetation grooming in the alley was complete, along with quick chats with three alley-sharing neighbors in Denver’s delightful Congress Park neighborhood. One of the families loves the fact I’ve left up, despite little use, a basketball goal in the alley. As I think about their words: “Our kids like to shoot baskets on it” my heart warms with thanks.

It also makes me think of Bill McCartney, for a few reasons. First, he and I have a bet to settle. You see, each of us fancies ourselves as pretty good basketball players, especially at shooting. Sooner or later my buddy and I are gonna have a shooting contest. Not many folks know McCartney, known as an outstanding football coach, was a standout athlete in three sports growing up in Michigan. He was the first Michigan prep coach to ever win a state football and basketball time in same school year. The guy knows how to play, coach and win. During our frequent visits over water and mud he likes to make a “swish” sound while warning, with an ear-to-ear grin, not to mess with him on the basketball court. I’m not smart enough to heed his advice. I”m just a simple dude from Missouri. He’s gotta show me! I also ponder, it might be wise to join the neighbors’ kids and use the adjustable hoop.

And then another thought, centering around brainstorming with the only coach to lead the CU Buffs, in football, to a national championship, crashes into my cranium. Our time together has taken me to a new level of effective prayer and inspires me to share and hope you find value in it.

McCartney likes to suggest, “there is no discussion without dissension!” To that, I say, “amen brother.” Our brainstorming sessions about the Buffs to the Bone project and other topics get animated. At that time, something very cool usually happens: we will stop and say a quick prayer - clarity and courage - to truly speak what is on our heart. Honesty in the best policy, right?

I learned it - stopping for a quick prayer in times of adversity or joy - from Coach Mac. Thanks. This quick, painless and empowering act seems, at least for me, to calm the spirit and allow articulation of what’s burrowed in the heart. Then it does get tricky because we also want to make sure what’s on our hearts is good natured!

I dunno, thought you might like to try it this week. When you’re in one of those tough moments where you know honesty in the best policy, but that’s gonna take a lot of courage, stop. Say a quick prayer like, “Dear God, give me the strength to speak what is truly on my heart” and then, share your idea, thought or suggestion.

The question becomes, “What is truly on your heart?” The answer to that question is vast, wide and deep. Let’s try like heck this week to make sure answering that question lies within the playing field of honoring, nurturing and adding value to communities served wherever roaming - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "A Steady Diet"

2011-10-30T09:51:00.000-06:00

There are moments in life that really define us. The circumstances of the experience may vary, but the strategies to successfully navigate the unexpected twists and turns, my opinion, rarely, if ever, stray. Stuff happens leaving us wondering, “What the heck is going on?”

But despite the bone-rattling experience, we persevere and march forward. We, as buddy Bill McCartney would say, “Lie on the battlefield, bleed a little, rise and march forward” with, despite the crap, hope and confidence. Coach Mac likes to talk about, “The greatest source of motivation is encouragement” and to that, I shout, a huge “Amen brother.”

I have always been in love with the definition of encourage. According to the torn and tattered Oxford American dictionary referenced often in writing Pep Talks, the word encourage suggests: “give hope and confidence to.”

Dang, can I have two? You? Imagine what our world might look like if everybody was walking around with hope and confidence? As I’m writing this on the first night of the 2012 World Series, St. Louis hosting Texas, almost 50 exotic animals, released from an Ohio refuge, are running wild. The community around Zanesville, Ohio was on high alert after a felon somehow ended up owning the sanctuary and, before taking his life, set the lions, tigers and bears loose. The media shouted, “Stay inside.” The communty, wondered, “What the heck is going on?”

Life throws us curveballs - mental, physical and financial - leaving us in that “WTH” frame of mind. We’ve all been there, right? Amen. The next step is critical. We must decide. Student, or victim, of the experience? Our choice, choose wisely, right?

I’m a simple dude from Missouri; been called many things in life, smart rarely one of them; but this much I do know: choose the former.

Dust yourself off and keep on trucking. Learn from it and become better because of it. That ain’t easy to do. So, what’s real important is to realize we’re not alone. Given that truth, let’s find other folks in the same boat and focus on one thing: encouraging one another! Give each other hope and confidence to put fear and self-doubt aside and allow wonderment to win in turning sour lemons into sweet and savory margaritas.

It’s real easy to talk about achieving but damn tough to accomplish. Back to McCartney, he’d say, “We’ve got some tough sledding ahead.” Yep, no question. However, the reward is so worth the effort. Challenge one another to move forward in ways honoring self, nurturing those dependent upon us and adding value to the communities we serve. Trust me, that ain’t a bad thing. To handle life’s twists and turns in ways helping us grow as humans seems a viable way to play like a champion in this crazy adventure we call life, right?

All this takes me back to a guy who taught me to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and under control. The fruits of a healthy and productive spirit. In the Bible’s chapter focusing on Galatians, Jesus talked to his social network about the benefits of embracing those noble nine traits.

It what seems a world with few absolutes can you imagine a world where we love one another? We’re joyful for whatever blessings exist; peaceful toward others; patience with same and self; kind; good; faithful; gentle and under control?

Man, I want to play on that team. You? Let’s make sure those nine fruits, available for daily consumption, are a steady part of our diet this week, K?

This week's Pep Talk: "Respect"

2011-10-23T10:42:00.000-06:00

A recent errand took me into the neighborhood grocery store just a short walk - two blocks - from my Congress Park home on Denver’s near east side. One of the owners and I share a passion for golf and there’s also a U.S. Postal Service office within his store. We chatted for a bit, “business is slow” he admitted - bless small business owners fighting to survive! - before I headed toward the back of the store to grab a spot in line to mail documents to the mortgage company. I had to ensure it repairs were made to my humble abode’s roof following a Colorado summer hail storm. Hail is about the only thing that can screw up Centennial State summers, right?

I was second in line behind a gentleman who was, I was within earshot of his conversation with the clerk, mailing a rather large box to a adult daughter living in North Dakota. While the clerk worked diligently wrapping the parcel, the elderly man and I began to chat. I asked him how many children he had, “I have three grown daughters.” He asked me the same and I offered, “Two wonderful kids; a 22-year-old son and 14-year-old daughter.” Then, I couldn’t resist considering I’m a resident of that crazy hotel fathers dwell in while raising teenage daughters - I’ve never been a girl and know what boys are like at that age, asked, “Any advice on raising daughters?”

A sly smile broke quickly across his content and weathered face. “I had it easier in my day,” he offered. “Kids today with the Internet - he now has teenage granddaughters - have so many temptations far beyond our control.” Amen brother.

Our conversation shifted to marriage and this easy-going man, with another grin on his face, informed me of 54 years of matrimony. As a twice-divorced veteran of the marriage game I have always admired others who make marriage work and queried, “What’s the key to being married that long and be happy?” He must get asked that question often because there was no hesitation, “We respect each other and don’t get on each other’s nerves.”

Amen again brother. The delightful conversation included a few good chuckles and some sports talk but was over in a few minutes. A short while later, after completing my transaction, while walking back toward home thoughts about respect crashed into cranium. I have always been fascinated with that word, defined as “a feeling of deep admiration for someone, or something, elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.”

I think we all have folks we respect, right? Family, friends, co-workers and others we deeply admire? Suddenly I remembered an acronym for “respect” that a few years ago bounced from my brain. Here it is: Reasonable Expectations Spark Productive Encounters Creating Tranquility.

Where this week could we exercise, toward others and self, “reasonable expectations sparking productive encounters creating tranquility?” Could it be what the doctored ordered as a prescription for solving challenging situations before us - home, work and elsewhere?

Operating from a foundation of respect apparently has worked well for an engaging man at the post office happily married for more than half a century, right? I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems respect based upon reasonable expectations can work for us too, wherever we roam. Good luck!

This week's Pep Talk: "Unwavering Support"

2011-10-16T13:01:00.002-06:00

The lighting for writing on the porch was not ideal but the moment was when the following crashes into cranium: the importance of unwavering support.

The thought blasted through whatever brain matter remains after tugging on my McIntosh Open Golf Tournament cap. That act brings forth the spirit of a wonderful father. Taking the cap off for a second to throw on a Louisiana College comfy shirt brings forth the spirit of a wonderful mentor. I then march to a favored spot to share some thoughts: a converted kids’ playhouse where when this musing - call it a Pep Talk - emerges from yours truly and he remembers to realize this is special ground: be careful to honor that when trying to inspire others to play like champions wherever they roam.

Father and coach who gave, and with Vance still give, me unwavering support; son and daughter who until my final breath, will have mine. It’s a beautiful Centennial State day, trees beautifully turning gold, brown, burgundy and other wonderful colors in the Mile High City’s Congress Park neighborhood. I’m sitting here sharing the idea of the importance of unwavering support. Thanks for caring.

I’m thinking of the music playing behind me. Old time greats, ironically, and I promise this is the truth, Percy Sledge’s 1966 mega-hit “When a Man Loves a Woman” booms through the box and it takes me to darling girlfriend. That’s my love song to Kathy Gans. Now and forever.

Anyway, back to the point, of unwavering support. This wonderful collection of enjoyable songs arrived in my life thanks to a buddy at the gym. He’s been challenged of late. I have been subbing for the delightful CSU Rams' fan as instructor of an old-farts spin class. He gave me the cd long ago but now I get to play it during the Monday morning class. I get to honor his spirit. We talked the other day and I hope he believes my support is unwavering - bless ya buddy.

The cranium is tracking other recent examples of unwavering support in action. Dink! It makes me think of Thursday night’s in Boulder, Colorado. There, thanks to friends like Pasta Jay’s, Gebhardt BMW and others, coach Bill McCartney, I help a bit, leads a huddle of CU football fanatics unwavering support of beloved son Jon Embree’s attempt to restore pride and tradition at the University of Colorado - it’s been absent for a bit. This group of fun and committed folks meets once a week during the football season believing its unwavering support will make a difference. Hey, why not try?

There’s a chill in the air so I went inside as the music moved to Neal Diamonds' 1966 debut single “Solitary Man.” Off the hook of “favored weekend pullovers” emerges one from buddy John Wristen. He’s the head football coach at undefeated CSU-Pueblo, long-time friend and good dude who gave it to me a few years ago as a gift for speaking to his team. The Thunderwolves just knocked off fourth-ranked Nebraska-Kearney, on the road, and moving up in the polls - “Go Johnny Go!”

It makes me think of McCartney. Long ago, back in his CU head coaching days, he gave unwavering support in overcoming the disappointing loss of my first marriage. He continues to challenge me these days too, thanks CW. It makes me think of each and every one of us. Through the years there have been many who stood behind us with unwavering support. Now, that doesn’t mean there weren’t unexpected and unwanted challenges along the way, but it does mean, as coach Mac likes to say, “You can’t make it tough enough for me to complain.”

Unwavering support. Shoulder to shoulder in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to unity of spirt in pursuit of a worthy endeavor. I wanna play on that team forever, you? Even in the most challenging moments and regardless of venue - home, work and elsewhere - the strategy never wavers: We’re ready to charge, in healthy and productive ways, from the foxhole wherever we roam. It can be a powerful force.

It’s made a huge difference - thanks Dad, Vance, Jerry, Mac and others - in my life. I would suspect you could rattle off more than a few too. This week let’s promise each other to be such a person to others. Unwavering support can change a person’s life.

It’s time to quit boring you and close with this. Again, I promise it’s the truth. The music is now Jackie DeShannon’s 1965 classic “What the World Needs Now” and she sings beautifully, “What the world needs now is love sweet love. No, not for some, but for everyone.”

Amen to that. But here’s, my opinion, the tough part: It’s tough to give unwavering support without love in your heart. I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely one, but, for this simple dude from Missouri, it seems love, sometimes tough love, has to be part of unwavering support’s foundation, right?

Have a great week!

This week's Pep Talk: "Too Few to Mention"

2011-10-09T13:29:00.001-06:00

I’m a big Frank Sinatra fan and especially love his hit song, “My Way.” The song was written for Sinatra in 1968 and he recorded it early the next year and as they say, the rest is history. For whatever reason, the words the legendary singer uses about halfway through the song have always resonated with me: “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption.”

To me, those words have always be a good reminder that life rarely goes as planned. We have regrets for things we should have done, but didn’t; things we shouldn’t have done, but did and regrets for whatever lies between the extremes. The Oxford American dictionary defines regret as “a feeling of sorrow, annoyance or disappointment.” Ever felt that way? You bet, each and everyone of us has at various points in our lives.

Just the other night I was introducing one of the greatest players in University of Colorado football history. The California native grew up on the tough streets of south-central Los Angeles before venturing east to make his mark with the Buffaloes. In the three years Darian Hagan was CU’s starting quarterback, 1989-1991, the Buffs won three straight Big 8 Conference titles and a national title in 1990. Currently the school’s recruiting coordinator, the 41-year-old was a featured guest at Coach Bill McCartney’s Football Feast and Fix. It was my job to exalt Hagan’s great career which ultimately landed him in the school’s athletic hall of fame.

I have one regret from the evening. I was so focused on the statistical accomplishments of one of college football’s great dual-threat quarterbacks that I totally spaced out one of his most noble achievements: he blew out a knee in the 1991 Orange Bowl game but worked his butt off and was ready for the start of the regular season less than nine months later. Despite not being fully healed from the patella tendon surgery, the cat-quick signal-caller guided the Buffs to their third straight conference title ending his career as the school’s all-time total offense leader.

I regret forgetting the impressive bounce back from injury in the introduction. I regret a lot of things through 53 years on this planet: divorces breaking up families; jobs being eliminated; bad decisions adversely affecting others and self. The question becomes, what to do when we’re feeling sorrowful, annoyed or disappointed?

Take action! Seek out the person afflicted and earnestly apologize; eradicate the unproductive behavior and vow to not stay locked in the debilitating clutches of regret for too long - it can wear us out! I called Hagan and apologized the next morning.

One of the most important facts of life we must face on an almost daily basis is whether we’re going to become victims of the circumstances of our lives or students of the experiences. Choose the latter, stay focused on thoughts, words and actions honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve and refuse to allow regrets to define us. Remember Sinatra’s wise words: “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.”

This week's Pep Talk: "Too Tough to Complain"

2011-10-02T11:47:00.001-06:00

It’s an absolutely gorgeous Colorado fall morning on Poor Man’s Porch. It’s the first Sunday of October. I just hung up the phone from a passionate discussion with my older sister in Kansas City. We talk often these days. The discussion usually focused on care for our aging mother.

These chats can get emotional to say the least. I don’t think we’re alone. Anybody out there relate? I like to joke to being part of the “sandwich generation” - you? - trying like heck to, in healthy and productive ways, raise children and care for elderly loved ones. There are few more noble efforts, my opinion, in life than caring for those who gave us life and those we returned, hopefully, the favor. It can get challenging though, considering a few things: siblings, with obligations of their own, scattered around the country; relationships over the years have strained; finances are different, so too, attitudes.

It makes me think of former University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney. He likes to suggest, especially in challenging times, “You can’t make it tough enough for me to complain.” That’s the spirit of Coach Mac’s Football Feast and Fix huddle held Thursday night’s at Pasta Jay’s in Boulder, Colorado: it’s a group of CU football fanatics rallying weekly in unwavering support of program resurgence under, respectively, home-grown Jon Embree, Eric Bieniemy and Greg Brown - head coach, offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator.

Coach Mac always begins the program reminding the ever-growing crowd, at one of Boulder’s best restaurants, a sobering fact: playing like champions does not happen overnight. There is “tough sledding” ahead. To the comments from the coach who led the Buffs to a national title in 1990, I’d like to add “amen” and this: that’s the truth, playing like a champion takes time - whether we’re talking college football, home, work and elsewhere.

Often the challenges before us, like making good decisions in caring for aging parents, is an ongoing process requiring excellent teamwork from those involved. To steal Coach Mac’s phrase: “You can’t make it tough enough for me to complain.” Now, let’s be realistic here, this is not to suggest we all don’t have plenty of “stuff” on the platter, right? We have to focus on working like heck to turn those life lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas, true?

Well, hey, I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, but it seems, regardless of the venue making life challenging - work, home, elsewhere - we have to ask ourselves a basic question: “Hey knucklehead, student or victim?” I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely, but, my opinion, the former is better. Seeking solutions instead of complaining, inspires us, and others, to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to challenges faced.

It starts with, thanks Coach Mac, a “You can’t make it tough enough for me to complain” attitude. Let’s work our butts off this week to, wherever we roam, exalt and encourage others and self. Trust me, nobody will benefit more than us considering most folks don’t enjoy being around complainers very long. Have a great week!

This week's Pep Talk: "Seize Another Day"

2011-09-25T14:08:00.001-06:00

It was a beautiful Friday summer evening in the Mile High City. I can hear my wonderful alley neighbors bonding as family in their backyard. I’m sitting on Poor Man’s Porch with cold beer, Rockies’ radio and cat lurking as thoughts turn to others.

Specifically, two incredible human beings, who at time of writing this, had, either, tragically died from a brain aneurysm or was clinging to life after an inspiring six-year fight against brain cancer. Warriors in this condition, my opinion, called life. Dudes who former University of Colorado head football coach Bill McCartney would call, “fox hole kinda guys.”

I think of these men’s families and the grief witnessed: these men will be sorely missed for good reason considering how, powered by faith, they honored, nurtured and added value to each community touched. Guys who I considered, “brothers from another mother.”

For the one kindred spirit clinging to life at this moment, we had a team meeting at his bedside. Many prayers for God’s will be done poured from the souls of those gathered around this hilarious man. Who, in the midst of dying, would joke at Friday morning’s fellowship, “I’ve had more issues than TIME Magazine.”

I’m among the gathered and, inspired by the other prayers, offer: “Hey buddy, without a miracle - and they do happen - you will never physically be present at Platoon, but I promise you buddy, we’re gonna do our best to keep your spirit alive.”

I can guarantee you that’s what loved ones who leave too early would expect - keep their spirit alive! What does that spirit look like? Well, how about what Peter wrote of in Galatians when speaking of a spirit demonstrating love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those nine fruits certainly describe Doug and Mark, I miss them already.

I would suspect, but I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, that most of us - not everybody - have similar folks in our lives. Family, friends and others who really show us the way to, as I like to suggest whenever given the chance, play like a champion. Great mentors - past and present - who love us, believe in us and support our healthy and productive goals. We’re touched by their spirits, and it’s good.

The question becomes, as life unexpectedly kicks us in the teeth and we’re wondering, “What the heck is going on here?”, will we remember the spirit of those who show the way? Will we, when life throws us a lemon, dust ourselves off, continue the journey and seize another day of trying to transform lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas? I hope this week, the answer is a resounding “You bet.”

This week's Pep Talk: "A JOCK Mentality"

2011-09-19T07:40:00.001-06:00

I really try and encourage others to see the benefit of being joyful for the blessings of life. Granted, when life sucks, that’s a challenging proposition. But blessings are usually present, we just struggle to sense them.

It’s just my opinion, but I believe gifts of blessing, when talking about this condition we call life, usually show up disguised in one of three ways: surviving, growing or thriving. Many factors determine location within that tri-level residence. Most of us sure would enjoy more time on the top floor, right?

The joy for blessings meter was registering in the growing area as I zipped south toward the Mile High City after a quick trip to Longmont, Colorado. I had visited the proud community where some of North America’s earliest residents lived 14,000 years ago. It’s a beautiful spot with breath-taking views of the nearby Rockies. I had the honor of giving a Pep Talk at the Longmont Association of Realtors’ annual awards/induction banquet.

It had been a wonderful evening observing dedicated women and men being honored for past deeds and future responsibilities and encouraging everyone in attendance to play like champions wherever they roam - home, work and elsewhere. That’s a real joy of mine and the entire Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation family: giving others hope and confidence.

In short, spirit was upbeat as I’m navigating a detour in Denver’s Uptown neighborhood. A construction project near a hospital in the area is disrupting a normally smooth final few, from travels north of the city, miles to home. It was annoying. Then, while obeying a four-way stop, something appears in the car’s headlights that moved the spirit needle dramatically.

Two young adults entered the crosswalk in front of the car, arms around one another and crying. Something transpired inside the nearby hospital on a splendid Centennial State evening of late summer creating great sadness for a grieving - looked college age - young woman and man. It sure seemed like their world had been rocked and this was an evening to recall much differently than I would, for grief, not joy.

It quickly brought me back to a brutal, but true, fact of life: rarely does it go the way we planned, right? One of the biggest responses from the Longmont crowd had been when I asked, early in the message, “What’s the only thing constant in life?” Almost in unison, and emphatically, about 200 folks offered, “Change.”

When we least expect, and desire, it too. The change might be our health, job, relationship or other circumstances - venues change. What doesn’t change is our strategy - call it a game plan - for dealing with life’s lemons: focus on blessings even when they’re real tough to find; remain optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Joy, optimism and courage are terrific teammates helping us kick ass in the game of life!

Joy. Optimism. Courage. Kick ass. You could call it a JOCK mentality.

"In A Heartfelt Manner"

2011-09-11T13:56:00.001-06:00

It was one of those Centennial State Saturdays, weather-wise, making you shout, “God I love living here.”

In fact, it was the day before our nation observed 9/11 a decade later. A day, like Pearl Harbor and others, that will live in infamy, defined as “notoriety caused by great evil.” Amen to that. That’s what occupying my thoughts while pulling into Target to fetch energy drinks for freshman daughter’s volleyball team and its day-long tournament. Then, for whatever reason, thoughts shifted to a wonderful friend who just lost his mother.

Singer Jackie DeShannon’s “What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love” bellowed from the car’s stereo system as I parked, turned the music down and placed a call: “Hey buddy,” I offered into voicemail, “I hear your mom passed away. My thoughts and prayers are with you.” The dear friend on the receiving end of this message is one of the greatest human beings I’ve ever met. We’ve known each other a long-time. I would trust him with my life. He had great role models in his parents. One of them is now gone.

“I guarantee you buddy, wherever your mom is today she is looking down on you and saying, keep up the good work as a father, husband and friend.” After a few more comments about how much I admired his mother and, him, the father of two growing boys, the call ended with “I love you buddy.”

Later in the day after the daughter’s volleyball marathon was complete, I’m back in the car fetching delicious barbecue in route to darling girlfriend’s home for a mellow evening. Donovan’s “Catch the Wind” is now the music of choice and a college buddy, in challenging times, the call of choice. As expected, considering he’s gone into a self-imposed submarine, there is no answer. I leave a message: “You can avoid me all you want but it will never erase my love for you.”

And then it dawns on me. The power of an encouraging word. I want to to challenge you this week: take the sixty seconds necessary to call - no email or texting allowed - and, in a heartfelt manner, someone and tell them how much you love them. Let them hear your voice and its sincerity.

In fact, as Americans a decade after a day notorious for great evil, might it be a good time for us to proclaim, in a heartfelt manner, our love of country? What could we start TODAY that would demonstrate love and contribute to our nation’s recovery from what ails us - home, work and elsewhere? More support of our kids, spouses, significant others, aging parents, schools, businesses, communities and others? All of the above require, to varying degrees, our work, wealth and wisdom. I know, easier said than done but WE CAN DO IT!
Back in 1918, while serving in America’s armed forces, Irving Berlin wrote the famous song and lyrics, “God bless America, land that I love.....”. Ten years have passed. We remember the loss, heroism and significance.

Let’s never forget this country’s potential. It starts with, in a heartfelt manner, love and respect for one another and a willingness to embrace unity of spirit while accepting diversity of belief. When you think about it rarely does anything, of value, begin without a heartfelt manner. Let’s display it in abundance this week!

"The Encouragement It Provides"

2011-09-06T06:33:00.000-06:00

On a recent evening I zipped into a sandwich shop to pick up a sub platter former wife had ordered and was my responsibility to retrieve for our beautiful, smart and athletic daughter’s school event. I’m blessed we get along. Anyway, as I hurried to the counter, an enthusiastic employee smiles broadly and states: “Hey Mark, how are you. You spoke at the Larimer County Jail when I was there. Thanks.”

Okay, I might be a simple dude from Missouri, but that was a different introduction to somebody, right? The store wasn’t real busy so we had a chance to chat. It was inspiring. This handsome young man mentioned he was a shift manager, happy and working hard to learn from his mistakes. You go boy. I love speaking in correctional facilities. There are so many talented, smart and creative people incarcerated. It comes down to making healthy choices, right?

Now, let’s be clear, there are many bad people who need to be removed from society but there are many who are pretty good folks making, for whatever reason, bad choices earning time in the gray-bar motel. I’ve been there a few times myself for silly mistakes.

A young man with a bright smile and, at least at this time, even brighter future and I quickly ran through the four strategies discussed in the Pep Talk presentation he and other - male and female - inmates heard that day: be a student, not victim of life’s experiences; understand we’re not along and it’s important to connect with others of like mind; encourage one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges present in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve.

A few days after this chance encounter, I was reading a hot August day’s edition of the Denver Post when a story about a state Department of Corrections’ program catches me eye: It has inmates learning career skills in the growing renewable energy industry. Somebody’s thinking, thank you! Anyway, one of the inmates is quoted as saying, “Everything is turning green; why not get educated? It’s my chance to become a productive member of society.”

Amen brother. Can you imagine what our world would look like if EVERYONE was focused on becoming a productive member of society? Wow, can I have another, please? The society might be your home, work, neighborhood or community. It really doesn’t matter because, while the venues change, the strategies are the same.

You get kicked around for a variety of reasons including poor choices. We then have another very important choice to make: student or victim? Choose wisely, K? The road will not be easy. But, a sincere effort to become superior to our former selves is worth the effort. If for no other reason, the encouragement it provides others incarcerated by society or self.

This week's Pep Talk: "Joy, not Regret"

2011-08-28T12:31:00.001-06:00

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon and I’m blessed to be sitting in Vail, Colorado, at the Red Lion, a popular local hangout. A folk singer is providing entertaining live music, a bartender is supplying cold beer and a weekend Denver Post is offering news of the day.

A picture in the sports section captures my attention. It’s former NBA player Dennis Rodman, overcome with emotion, giving his induction speech. Dressed eccentric as usual, the former Piston, Laker and Spur rebounding machine was grateful for the great coaches of his life who taught him how to play like a champion and remorseful for children neglected as a father.

Ironically, I had observed this picture just seconds after texting my 21-year-old son and congratulating him for being such a responsible older brother to his 14-year-old sister who recently visited the aspiring television producer in Los Angeles. One of the real challenges of being a twice divorced father of two great kids - one from each marriage - is the reality they don’t get to spend much time together. I’m very grateful for the time they do hang together even if, at their age, it’s time they’d rather spend solo, without their old man lurking.

Is there anything more important in life than, and I know it ain’t easy, being a responsible parent? My goodness, our children didn’t ask to be brought into this world, right? We created them, isn’t it our responsibility to show, not tell, them through our thoughts, words and actions, how to play like champions wherever they roam?

I don’t know how many kids - Wikipedia says three - Rodman has fathered over the years but his crazy lifestyle certainly has made far more headlines than accolades for parenting prowess. I find it also ironic that, during the emotional address, the New Jersey native understood the value coaches brought into his life.

It makes me think of mentors. Whether we’re talking home, work or elsewhere, including basketball, we are heavily influenced by mentors, another name for a coach. A friend of mine, with a good track record of coaching success in football and life, once told me a great definition for a coach. It comes from former Dallas Cowboy head coach Tom Landry, considered one of the greatest mentors in NFL history. Landry once said, when speaking of coaching: “A coach is a person who requires others to do what they don’t want to do in order to achieve things they’ve always dreamed of doing.”

Rodman had others who helped him achieve - Hall of Fame induction - things most could only dream of doing. For whatever reason, at least to this point in the 49-year-old’s life, he’s remorseful for underachieving when it comes to being hall-of-fame old man.

But here’s the beauty of life. It’s never too late to begin. It’s never too late to tell your children how much you love them, believe in them and support their pursuit of healthy and productive dreams. Perhaps more important than telling them, is to show them.

Parenting is coaching. It ain’t easy and there’s no guarantee of success but give it your best shot. Let’s work like heck this week to make sure any tears concerning kids are tears of joy, not regret.

This week's Pep Talk: "Emotion of Great Delight"

2011-08-21T12:40:00.001-06:00

While sweating away on cardio equipment at a gym in Vail, Colorado on Independence Day weekend, I was watching the men’s final from Wimbledon. Serbia’s Novak Djokovic had just beaten Spain’s Rafael Nadal for the title. The 24-year-old was celebrating afterward, tossing tennis rackets, sweatbands and kisses to the adoring English crowd.

Then the image of his family in the stands was shown. The unbridled joy on their faces prompted tears to flow from my eyes and join the sweat of my face. Is there any greater joy for a parent than to watch your child achieve a dream? It was this season’s number-one ranked player’s first Wimbledon title.

Joy, wow, what a great thing to possess, right? Defined as “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying”, joy is something to cherish, and welcome, when it appears. In each and every Pep Talk presentation, we talk about being “joyful for the blessings of life.” Is it just me, or does it seem moments where joy reigns, like the Djokovic family celebration, are experienced less than speaking directly to a customer service representative? Rarely?

That darn thing called life, with its unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns often makes it tough to experience great delight and happiness. Right before sitting down to remove this thoughts from cranium, I received a message on Facebook from a friend asking for prayers and support: a brain tumor was wreaking havoc on her mind, body and spirit, causing seizures and horrific pain.

Where’s the joy in that? We all have challenges - physical, emotional, financial and spiritual - constantly battering our bodies, minds, souls and wallets. The question becomes, how do we handle life’s lemons?

Well, how about this: Try like heck to become a student, not victim of the experience; realize you’re not alone and connect with others who might share similar challenges; encourage - give hope and confidence to - one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in creating productive choices to the challenges faced. Finally, we have to make sure our strategy to overcoming the adversity honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value the communities we serve. It’s a four-step process with, darn it, no shortcuts.

Hope and enthusiasm for the future, in the face of great adversity, is not an easy task. However, with hope, “feeling that what is wanted can be had, or that events will work out for the best”, we are inclined to exert effort - like Djokovic at Wimbledon - leading to success and the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

Imagine if that would be an accurate - exceptionally good or satisfying - description of our lives? Have a great week and for those where just surviving right now is a very good option - BLESS YOU!

This week's Pep Talk: "I Believe in You"

2011-08-14T08:31:00.001-06:00

Considering the ease of email and texting, writing heartfelt cards and letters to others seems to be a long lost art these days. So it was with great pleasure I gently opened a card from a dear friend. She’s been a chief encouragement officer in the Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation’s efforts to raise the necessary money to get a 15-minute daily radio show funded. The program, Pep Talk with Mark McIntosh: A Daily Dose of Faith, Life and Sports, would be the centerpiece of FLS’s programs, services and products designed to inspire others to play like champions wherever they roam.

The wonderful friend, mother, grandmother, wife and businesswoman ended the handwritten note with this: “I believe in you.” Those words warmed my marrow and took my cranium to a moment earlier in the week when another friend had challenged me with this question, “What’s the most important thing you could say to your girlfriend?” Two options came immediately to mind: “You are always right” and “I love you dearly.” I chose the latter and uttered it with conviction.

Not surprisingly, I was, at least in the mind of the questioner, incorrect. “Nope,” cracked the long-time football coach and leader of men, the most important thing you could ever say to your girlfriend, or anybody else for that matter, is: “I believe in you.”

Hummm. In less than 48 hours, two people I greatly respect had either written, or spoken, those words to me. I am now inspired to share them with you. Four words; a short, yet very powerful, phrase that can motivate others, despite obstacles, to never give up on dreams. I think most of us can recall times in our lives where somebody - parent, coach, friend, teacher, spouse or others - encouraged our efforts with that quality quartet, right?

Shannon Sharpe, for 14 years one of the best tight ends in NFL history, was just inducted into pro football’s Hall of Fame. The three-time Super Bowl champion thanked many in an almost 25-minute acceptance speech but saved a majority of it for his devoted grandmother. She raised the Savannah State University graduate and his siblings on faith and hope in poverty-stricken rural Georgia. Materially, she had little but spiritually she possessed a lot and constantly told Sharpe, “I believe in you.” Her encouragement was the initial fuel that powered the athlete’s rise to football immortality.

I’d like to challenge you this week to think about somebody who could benefit from hearing those powerful words. Who might it be? A child, co-worker, teammate, spouse or estranged friend? Who needs to hear “I believe in you” - from you? For any reading this Pep Talk who might need someone to recite that fabulous foursome of prose to YOU, please know the FLS is here to help. Just email us at info@flsfoundation.org and make a prayer request.

The knowledge others believe in us and support our healthy and productive pursuit of dreams is, at least in my opinion, a foundational aspect to achievement and success.

“I believe in you.” Try to say it at least once a day - perhaps to self - this week and see how it may transform the mindset of the recipient, and you.

"A Better Way"

2011-08-07T08:34:00.001-06:00

A good portion of the 212th day of 2011 was spent on Poor Man’s Porch reading. I love to read and learn new stuff. Reading and learning, at least for me, generates ideas. That passion for reading, learning and then generating ideas can be a blessing and a curse. I have some who, lovingly but curiously, wonder, “So Mac, what are you up to these days?”

The roof of this backyard sanctuary echoes the voices of two great kids and their buddies who used to play inside a playhouse transformed into my writing base. The structure, long ago useful until my children outgrew it, had become blighted. But with the help of a neighbor buddy and some ingenuity, the space has been transformed into something incredibly special: it’s where I pour my heart out and hope it inspires you, and others, to play like champions wherever you roam.

I’m reading and listening to the Rockies’ radio pre-game show from San Diego. It’s the first post-Ubaldo trade day for a team dealing with underachievement that was the focus of last week’s Pep Talk. General Manager Dan O’Dowd offers: “In baseball there are three types of players,” the long-time Rockies’ leader suggested, “Those who are survivors, contributors and winners. We’ve had too many not moving up the ladder from survivor to contributor to, ultimately, winner.”

Honest and accurate if you ask me.

But that phrase, “survivors, contributors and winners” sunk into cranium like humidity seeps into skin: In looking at our lives, are we surviving, contributing or winning - home, work or elsewhere? Sometimes surviving is the best we can accomplish and should be celebrated but apparently, at least with the Rockies baseball team, it seems some team members were physically okay but mentally fried and not performing to expectations. Barely surviving, not contributing and thoughts of winning, considering their performance, fleeting.

It’s a yucky spot to find ourselves in, ain’t it? It might be challenges on the home front with significant other or kids, struggles paying the bills or illness threatening self or loved ones - whatever. There are many paths to quicksand. Initially, it’s smart to survive but then, as quickly as possible, we have to muster the will to lift ourselves from the muck.

In those crazy times of life, where we’re wondering, “What the heck is going on here?” might it be - I’m just a simple dude from The Show Me State writing on a Centennial State backyard porch, beneficial to embrace the following: become a student, not victim of the experience; realize we’re not alone and rally with others of like mind; encourage one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win and promise each other to executive this game plan in ways that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve. I call that strategy the “Faithful Foursome” considering its foundation is four Bible verses. We’ll save that for another day.

LIfe is often tough. Maybe it’s a good description of your journey right now. O’Dowd’s words might be worth embracing: Whether surviving, contributing or winning, the key factor, wherever we roam, is striving for improvement. Simple, not easy. Becoming superior to our former selves is rarely a bad idea, right?

We learn a better way. Try it. You might succeed, you might not. Prayers for the former this week!

This week's Pep Talk: "Refined, Resolute & Fearless"

2011-07-31T11:49:00.000-06:00

It’s a Sunday afternoon, the music is Oldies, the temperature is hot and the mood, mixed. A quick conversation with wonderful Los Angeles based-son about his sister’s pending visit is good, the breeze on Poor Man’s Porch is cooling but there’s sobering news to report: The local baseball team, the Colorado Rockies, are dead in the water and drifting away from land and the coveted island that is the baseball playoffs at season’s end.

They just lost 7-0 to the Arizona Diamondbacks. It was the club’s 14th-straight Sunday loss of the season. What? The Rockies’ best pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez, since traded, was erratic, the hitters couldn’t solve a guy making his first start in two months and the will, to bounce back from a prior night’s shellacking, apparently on the disabled list and unavailable.

To put it another way. The 2011 version of the Jim Tracy-led Rockies have underachieved big time. Underachieving, wherever we roam, is a lousy place to dwell, ain’t it? You want to quickly shower the stench away, don’t ya? We all have been there at points in life, right? Where, despite best intentions, it’s a train wreck leaving us dazed and confused. What’s the saying, “Life gets in the way of our best laid plans?” The Rockies didn’t expect to be buried in a double-digit deficit to the world-champion San Francisco Giants; I didn’t expect to be divorced twice and you didn’t expect - fill in the blank. Life rarely goes as planned.

The question, when mired in underachievement, “What the heck are we doing to do about it?” We do have a choice, right? I’m just a simple dude from Missouri sitting here writing you from my backyard, but I think it’s this simple: We have to decide whether we’re going to be victims of underachievement or students of it. I believe that’s true whether talking baseball, love or whatever. We have to, when faced with the reality of underachievement, look inward and ask, “What could be done better to become superior to our former selves - home, work or elsewhere?”

But here’s where it get tricky. Accepting the truth of underachievement takes courage. First, to admit it and then, to explore a new path encouraging a better way. Simple, not easy. I think it starts with forgiving ourselves. I can only speak for myself, but it seems we’re usually our worst critics. In the Bible, in Colossians, it talks about “being gentle, forgiving and never holding a grudge against others.” I think it starts self.

When underachievement arrives at the most undesirable time, we have to muster the courage to dust ourselves off and move forward. Wiser from the experience, optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Refined, resolute and fearless from lessons learned in our quest to turn life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas and play like champions down the road.

"Thanks Zap"

2011-07-24T10:55:00.000-06:00

I don’t think it’s being unreasonable to believe each of us has moments that brand our bones: those moments where elation or disappointment reign are snapshots from the journey defining our lives.

For me one of those moments was late in 1983. I was living in Denver, Colorado and drifting like a ship without sail or rudder. I didn’t like myself much that day while plopped on the couch of a modest apartment and watching rookie John Elway lead the Broncos to a thrilling win over the Baltimore Colts. A team that had drafted, but been spurned by Elway, being the first victim of the rifle-armed quarterback’s come-from-behind magic that is one of many attributes of his Hall-of-Fame career.

On that fateful day, I was on the couch watching a Denver sports anchor, after the rally, reporting live from a joyous Broncos’ locker room. I liked his style, passion and knowledge. I had an epiphany: “I wanna do what he’s doing. I wanna be a sportscaster like Ron Zappolo.”

That thought inspired me to take the necessary steps to return to my alma mater, Mizzou, for a master’s degree in journalism. The goal: become a sportscaster and return to my athletic roots.

More than a quarter century later, that goal, inspired by someone else’s example, is something remembered like yesterday. It takes my brain to this: how beautiful and beneficial it is to remember others who inspire us to be our best? To, as I like to say whenever blessed to encourage others with a Pep Talk, be “joyful for the blessings.”

Imagine - home, work and elsewhere – marinating in the physical, emotional and spiritual ingredients comprising those who inspire us to play like champions? Just me, and I know I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, but I like our odds of living a life that honors, nurtures and adds value wherever we roam.

The Boston native had that type of influence of my life. Occasionally I mention this to the man who set the standard for Denver sportscasters before transforming into an equally talented news anchor in the Mile High City. He smiles, shrugs and suggests, “Ah Mac, you’re too kind.”

No Zap, few in life have given me a greater gift than the encouragement that branded my bones that late-in-the-year 1983 date and changed my life, for the better. This week let’s, in thoughts, words and actions: “Be what Zap was for Mac.” Our example may help another become superior to their former self. Is there a greater honor?

Thanks, Zap.

"Taste the Fruits"

2011-07-17T11:56:00.000-06:00

Who remembers the song from the 1970’s named Disco Inferno? I would suspect most, considering our age, reading this Pep Talk can recall that vibrating and gyrating hit made hugely popular in the 1977 film, Saturday Night Fever.

Well, on a recent morning at the gym, the song, inducted into the Dance Hall of Fame a few years back, came blaring over the sound system and, not surprisingly, everyone’s energy increased dramatically. From my perch atop a StairMaster machine, I could see others, while putting their bodies through the paces too, moving and grooving to the upbeat rhythm.

There was an obvious surge of energy, sparked by the music, emanating from our bodies and the room. Most of us were singing along and when the lead singer from the Trammps belted out, “Satisfaction came with a chain reaction”, I felt like screaming, “Amen brother!”

There was a chain reaction, call it unity of spirit, pulsing through Kinetics Fitness Studio. It was fun to experience and made the “sweat a day keeps the doctor away” workout far more tolerable. The thought “satisfaction came with a chain reaction” stuck with me the rest of the day and led to this musing from Poor Man’s Porch.

I kept thinking about how it ties into the mission of the Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation and our goal to inspire others to play like champions wherever they roam. Through our programs, services and products we’re trying to create a chain reaction of satisfaction within others to successfully live in harmony with self and others.

A big part of the philosophy is embracing unity of spirit - a chain reaction - and respecting diversity of belief. What does “embracing unity of spirit” mean? Well, to me, much like what transpired within the gym that morning while listening to the music, unity of spirit is something easy to experience, but perhaps, hard to define. It’s like how Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, in 1964, when trying to define pornography, stated, “I know it when I see it.”

To be part of a group experiencing, or witnessing, unity of spirit energizes us with hope and confidence. The challenge is to make sure unity of spirit centers on thoughts, words and actions honoring us, nurturing those dependent upon us and adding value to the communities we serve - the terrific trio test, right?

Spirit, when used as a verb means: “to encourage; urge on or stir up, as to action.”
Everyone present in the gym that morning was certainly urged on and stirred up by the music that started a chain reaction of spirit.

How could we, perhaps, be part of a spirit chain reaction - home, work or elsewhere? How could we utilize our gifts for the betterment of self and others?

Galatians 5:22-23 suggests there is great benefit to unity of spirit: “The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things, there is no law.”

Inside that gym, exposed by a great song, unity of spirit - satisfaction with a chain reaction - swept us away to a very good place. Try and allow the same to happen to you this week, wherever you roam.

And remember to taste the nine fruits. They’re always in season, readily available and there’s no law limiting your indulgence.

This week's Pep Talk: "What Goes Around...."

2011-07-11T07:27:00.001-06:00

Beau Jo’s Pizza is a Colorado-based establishment that has, for a long time, been near and dear to my heart, for more than its mouth-watering pizza pies and the honey I love to pour onto their crust.

Many years ago, when my son was just a toddler, a dear friend and I were dining there, along with Kyle, when the fellow transplanted Missourian snapped a picture of your humble correspondent and son. It’s a cherished photo that still hangs on my bedroom wall, near the closet. Each day when preparing to dress, I see that picture, along with a similar shot of Kyle’s younger sister Rachel. The photos remind me of a few things: my love, devotion and responsibility to them and how darn cute they were before becoming teenagers and beyond. Today, I’m just their old man and that’s okay.

Anyway, back to Beau Jo’s Pizza, www.beaujos.com. It was started 38 years ago in the small mountain town of Idaho Springs, nestled in the early stages of the Rocky Mountains just west of Denver. Recently, the famous apres ski hangout has returned to my life in a significant way because of its director of marketing Pam Friedentag. Earlier this year, while reading The Denver Business Journal, I happened across a story about Beau Jo’s partnership with the Autism Society of Colorado, www.autismcolorado.org. The first Wednesday of each month, the restaurant hosts families afflicted with autism.

In reading the article I was struck by the empathy the company has toward autistic families often reluctant to dine out because of fear of the unknown - will my lovely child have a tough moment, perhaps act out and make things uncomfortable? Well, Beau Jo’s has taken an attitude, “Who cares!” The maker of delicious mountain pizza pies understands the value of connecting with like-minded people and drawing strength and encouragement from one another for our unique challenges - in this case, the journey autism brings into families’ lives.

We all have our challenges, right? Well, this story, and accompanying picture - especially Friedentag’s eyes - inspired me to call and arrange a meeting with her and Betty Lehman, executive director of the non profit. I wanted to discuss ways the sports radio show I co-host, Drive Time with Mac and Doog, www.macanddoog.com, could help raise awareness of this wonderful partnership. I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart never being one of them, but this was a smart call.

For it was from Beau Jo’s Arvada, Colorado location that I experienced a wonderful example of what we’re encouraged to remember in Galatians 6:9: “Never growing weary of doing good, for at the proper time you’ll reap the harvest if you just don’t give up.”

The store’s manager offered Doog and I, during our three-hour broadcast on the day Beau Jo’s was hosting the autism families, a complimentary pizza. Well, I was in the middle of a three-week dietary “cleanse” and pizza was taboo.

However, the manager quickly agreed to offering a Mac and Doog listener a free pizza if they came into the restaurant that evening. The phone lines lit up, the prize was given away and the winners, a lovely wife and husband, appeared before I departed later that evening.

Something I could not use - pizza because of a temporary diet - was offered to someone else who readily accepted and then, here’s where it became magical. The beautiful couple, upon completion of dinner, approached, gave thanks and offered, “Mark, we want to make a donation to the Autism Society of Colorado.”

Folks, the ol’ law of circulation was in effect that evening wasn’t it? A restaurant, a talk show host, a couple, guided by a belief of never growing weary of doing good things for each other. It really does work!

What goes around comes around. This week, let’s embrace that truth and most important, live it.

Pep Talk: "The Power of Purpose"

2011-07-03T09:04:00.000-06:00

The pre-dawn atmosphere on Poor Man’s Porch was peaceful. I heard sounds of a service truck backing up, that “beep, beep, beep” sound; the birds were chirping away and my cranium was focused on two things: First, Patsy Sue Perry’s 76th birthday. This firecracker female gave me life, nurtured my dreams and supports my endeavors, including the Faith, Life and Sports (FLS) Foundation - thanks Ma. Second, the Daily Dose of encouragement, offered to others the day before, occupied the mind: “A person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.”

Oxford American Dictionary defines purpose as: “An intended result, something for which effort is being made.” An intended result, and the effort to accomplish it, is the core of Buffs4Life, www.buffs4life.com, an organization, founded in 2005, dedicated to helping former University of Colorado athletes in challenging times.

Back in the mid 80’s, when CU’s football fortunes began to turn under the tutelage of head coach Bill McCartney and the talented staff he assembled, Anthony Weatherspoon was a hard-nosed fullback and team leader. Later in life, “Spoon” was stricken with cancer. Medical bills piled up and teammates, including current CU head coach Jon Embree, decided to help. This group had a purpose: care for loved one’s in need.

1 Corinthians 14:8 encourages us to remember: “If the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who shall prepare for battle.” Well, former athletes, coaches, staff and others closely aligned with CU athletics are sounding a clear call: “Once a Buff, always a Buff.”

Each year the organization holds a golf tournament to raise money to continue its mission of serving Buffs in need. This year a former female golfer at CU was the designated benefactor. I was honored to play in a group that included McCartney, James, Derek, Mike and John: former coach, pastors and players respectively.

Standing on a tee box waiting to thunder some drives down the fairway, while chatting with the two pastors, I mentioned apprehension about a necessary upcoming chat with my son. James Ryle - watch video of CU’s post-game celebration of its national championship win over Notre Dame in the 1991 Orange Bowl and you’ll see Ryle right next to McCartney - looks me in the eye and says: “Mac, before you begin to speak about the challenge, ensure your son of three things.” I admire this man and could not wait to hear the suggestions. “First, tell him that you love him. Second, tell him that you believe in him; Third, tell him that you are committed to helping him become the best he can be.”

Amen brother. Can I encourage you to do the same? Home, work and elsewhere, where there’s someone close to you who needs a little encouragement, begin from that terrific trio?

Pre-dawn darkness on Poor Man’s Porch had given way to the rising sun. A new day beckoned and my prayer is this Pep Talk encourages us to embrace the power of purpose. This week, make the effort to love, believe and commit to others - home, work and elsewhere. It’s a formula for success wherever we roam, with or without Buffaloes.

This week's Pep Talk: "Perseverance, Forgiving and Living"

2011-06-26T17:44:00.001-06:00

Like many of you, I enjoy traveling. It’s a lot of fun visiting loved ones, exploring new places and, at least for me, slowing down enough to read. I love to read while traveling. Recently travel took me to Chicago, for another celebration of darling girlfriend’s 50th birthday - it’s a year-long deal folks. Several of Kathy’s girlfriend’s also made the journey to the Windy City, her hometown. One of her “sisters from another mother” and your correspondent - the designated porter - were browsing for books at Denver International Airport before departure. “Mac, you should read this one” offered the beautiful wife and mother. Boy, was she right.

The Texas native suggested I read Unbroken. It’s about a guy, Louis Zamperini, written incredibly well by Laura Hillebrand. I will not spoil the story for you but trust me, it’s a riveting tail of perseverance, forgiving and living.

Devoted readers of these weekly musings know I like to write and speak often about the importance, despite life’s unexpected twists and turns, of trying to turn life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas. Life rarely goes as planned, right? We’re stuck in situations that leave us wondering, “What the heck is going on around here? Why me?”

Zamperini, a California native now 94-years-old, could certainly have asked that question many times during a harrowing adventure in the Pacific theatre during World War II. Pick up the book, you won’t regret it. The former Olympic track athlete survived his ordeal, persevered, and then ultimately, was able to forgive his tormentors and truly begin living, again. Reports of Zamperini’s death, like Mark Twain’s, were greatly exaggerated.

I think quite often in life when we’re in challenging times - job loss, illness, relationship breakdown or others - we become despondent, right? We also want to blame others and seek revenge against our tormentors, real or perceived. I have not spoken directly to Zamperini about this - I do hope to interview him soon - but I would suspect his advice, in terms of seeking revenge or holding a grudge would be, “Don’t go there.”

Colossians 3:13 states: “Be gentle and forgiving, never hold a grudge, remember the Lord forgave us, we must forgive others.” From the time 30 years ago when boredom and a desire for direction led me to read those wise words, that passage has always stuck with me as valuable. Forgiveness. It ultimately set Zamperini free, it has done the same for me through injuries, divorces and job losses and might work for you too.

Thanks Kelly. While writing, in the early morning, on Poor Man’s Porch, I recalled her recommendation, “Mac, buy this book” leading me to Unbroken and Louie Zamperini’s life story. It’s a powerful example to - whatever may ail us right now - persevere, forgive and live. A current best-selling book, history’s best seller and this Pep Talk are reminders of that truth. Good luck this week living it.

This week's Pep Talk: "Be a Good Man"

2011-06-20T06:39:00.000-06:00

Father’s Day 2011. I have sired two wonderful children allowing membership into the fatherhood fraternity. The oldest, son Kyle, is 21 and lives and works full-time in Los Angeles. We were on the phone recently talking about life and family. He asked about his youngest sister Rachel, 14-years-old and devoted to volleyball, and other family members.

Then the conversation switched to two men, one middle-aged, the other young, and the importance of, while having fun, trying like heck to make healthy and productive decisions about life - home, work and elsewhere. The conversation centered on a young man’s social life. Many of us - at least I do - know from personal experience it involves many late nights and an occasional overindulgence of drinking and other activities that have us, often the next day, wondering: “What the heck was I thinking?”

Father and son were chuckling about a Facebook profile picture Kyle had posted, briefly, showing him, after an especially productive day at work, celebrating with cigar and a drink. I asked him, “What are you drinking?” His response, “Scotch”, made me think of his grandpa, my father, Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr.

My old man loved Scotch too. I have never taken a liking to it preferring beer, wine and margaritas. We hear often that some traits “skip a generation” within families, right? Well, apparently a fondness for Scotch permeates the genes of my son like it permeated the genes of my father. After my son offered testimony concerning enjoyment of an occasional Scotch, I recounted a story about his Grandpa that brought a smile to my heart and laughter to his soul.

My father used to organize, from his Kansas City, Missouri home, golf trips to Arizona each winter. Many would convene in the warmth of the desert, escaping the cold of Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado for a weekend of golf and fellowship. “Mac” as everybody called him, was always the tournament organizer and, in the end, commissioner. He would handle disputes whenever they might arise between friendly, but very competitive, participants of the “Desert Shootout.”

I told my son about Grandpa’s celebratory mood one evening after a particularly good day on the golf course. “Hacker Mac” had won a few “skins” and was festive, which meant the Scotch was flowing freely. Many were gathered in the bar area of the golf course, when lo and behold, a man who embraced life to its fullest despite its challenges - emotionally, physically and financially - leaped out onto the dance floor and started tap dancing, in golf spikes. Well, it made quite the clatter, inspired others to join in and left an imprint, certainly on the dance floor floor, but also within my soul concerning how much my father, who passed in 2007, loved life, golf and hanging with his buddies.

I hope someday my son has similar fond memories of the time we spend together. Marvin, Mark and Kyle McIntosh, three generations of McIntosh men. Each bonded by genes, two by Scotch and the one in the middle blessed to recall a great father who inspires him daily to play like a champion in the game of fatherhood.

Thanks Dad, you showed me the way and it is good. I love you, think of you daily and hear, especially when it comes to how I conduct my life, you whispering to my soul: “Be a good man.”

On this Father’s Day 2011, Dad wherever you are, I hope you don’t mind me sharing this story with others, especially fathers. I hope it encourages them like you encourage me.

This week's Pep Talk: "Sacrifice Fears"

2011-06-12T08:47:00.000-06:00

I always look forward to Friday mornings and fellowship with some buddies. We unite with a purpose: to challenge one another, through talking about faith, to play like champions - home, work and elsewhere - in ways that honor a higher power, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve.

On this particular morning, almost two dozen men - white, black and brown - focused on where our thoughts take us, especially in challenging and fearful times. When life’s unpleasant stuff comes a calling, where do our thoughts go? It’s a real challenge for each of us, ain’t it? Life rarely goes as planned, right? Would it be fair to suggest having a game plan for handling life’s lemons in healthy and productive ways might be smart?

We had a lively discussion about fear and how thoughts play tricks on us. There’s a great acronym for fear that really resonates with me and, I hope, with you: Forget Everything And Return. In other words, we try like heck to move forward from past hurts and disappointments in an effort to become, emotionally, spiritually and physically, superior to our former selves. But, we all can relate, the road to improvement can get a bit bumpy. Ever been there? Don’t feel bad, we’ve all visited that lousy lodge. We fall back into the old and unproductive habits that created the consternation in the first place - we forget everything and return, wondering, “Why?”

In these times, my foundation is faith, particularly the wisdom found in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not harm you; to give you hope and a future.” Whether it’s been moving on from the pain of devastating injury curtailing a promising athletic career; marriages, with children, ending in divorce; jobs in the television industry terminating with disappointment, remembering, and often reciting, those wise words have helped me stay rooted in hope for the future, not pain from the past - be a student, not victim of the experience.

I know, it ain’t easy. We also know truly valuable things in life are rarely achieved without sacrifice, right? Well, how about this week we promise one another that, collectively, we’re gonna do one thing: we’re gonna sacrifice our fears. Shakespeare once suggested: “Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

An introspective prophet more than 2,000 years ago; an English poet and playright four centuries ago; a recent men’s fellowship group and now this Pep Talk reminder today - sacrifice fears, not dreams.

It’s a truth that transcends time, permeates the soul and fuels, if we allow it, faith.

This week's Pep Talk: "Dare to Dream"

2011-06-06T05:35:00.001-06:00

Whenever blessed to present a Pep Talk to others we always discuss the importance of putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win in trying like heck to play like a champion - home, work and elsewhere.

It’s just my belief that ability - wonderment prevailing against fear - is a critical foundational element to success in life. Our journey rarely goes as planned; we get knocked down; the path takes a detour of a mental, physical or financial aspect and we’re challenged to keep moving forward limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face.

Perhaps, in short, what I’m trying to say is this: we gotta, despite life’s challenges, always dare to dream. For many years I have had a dream. With one particular buddy its been prayed about endlessly. With great joy I inform you, God answers prayers.

First, some background. Ever since beginning to speak professionally about turning life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas, upon concluding the message, often someone would approach me and suggest, “Mac, you outta be a preacher!” I must admit to being inspired by the wonderful men and women who have made that suggestion but usually quickly dismissed the thought for two reasons: I can’t afford to go back to school at my age with two deserved children needing my emotional, physical and financial support and honestly, the idea of having to constantly work weekends was not appealing.

So the dream had been kept alive mainly by prayer until another buddy recently suggested, “Mac, it’s time for some faith-based sports talk in this town.” Well, that thought - thanks to many but especially LeRoy, Scotty and Beth - began a domino-type reaction leading to this: Pep Talk with Mark McIntosh: A Daily Dose of Faith, Life and Sports.”

Each weekday afternoon at 4:30PM MST, for 15 minutes on KLTT Radio, www.670kltt.com, I will be blessed to host a show encouraging listeners to play like champions in ways that honor a higher power of goodwill - for me that’s God - nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve.

There will be interviews with remarkable athletes, coaches and other sports personalities. They will share their faith, life and sports. We hope the conversations inspire you and others. Listeners will also be encouraged to unite with others, talk about faith and then put that faith into healthy and productive action.

A non-profit organization, The FLS (Faith, Life & Sports) Foundation will be the cornerstone of this ministry. Information on how to support our mission will be announced shortly.

There you have it. God answers prayers. Dreams do come true. Don’t give up on yours because, when you least expect, they just might manifest into reality - dare to dream.

This week's Pep Talk: "Exalt A Man"

2011-06-01T07:19:00.000-06:00

Billy Joel is on the piano, and Ipod, as I settle in for this Pep Talk about the journey we call life. Ironically, the idea, exalt a man, crashes into my cranium on Mother’s Day. But that seems to make sense considering who appeared.

My thoughts are interrupted. 21-year-old son, aspiring television producer, informs: “Dad, hey, gonna have to bag the food idea. I’ll eat at the airport.” We agree that’s cool and then off the strapping young man went, back to work reading scripts. He had been in Denver for a quick and fun visit that included darling girlfriend’s special birthday bash and time with neighbors who are like family. Good stuff.

He seemed happy as he bounded back up the stairs. For that I am grateful. Life ain’t always that way – happy - and to reside on that side of the tracks ain’t bad. I’m just a simple dude from Missouri but it sure makes sense to me. I think most people would choose happy, right? Well, my son looked happy as he went back to his business and me to mine – you and Billy. By the way, She’s Got A Way just finished. My son. I love him dearly and dang, as a parent, can you ask for anything more in life than realizing, in healthy and productive ways, your kids are happy? Wow, sign me up for a lifetime membership.

Timothy Barton deserves a lot of credit for the young man my son is becoming. My brother from another mother is my first former wife’s third husband. For those scoring at home, I am the leadoff hitter. When Kyle headed west from Denver to California, my “love at first sight” buddy stepped up big time. I felt like I had a brother taking a lead role in teaching my son to be a man. He’s one of those “fox-hole” kinda guys mentor Bill McCartney and I love to talk about each week – rock solid in all areas.

All kidding aside, my son now lives on his own while chasing dreams in Los Angeles, but Timothy and I stay in touch. He was the man on the ground during my son’s successful journey through middle and high school. We talked a lot back in those days. I love him like a brother.

It’s time to shut this down. Billy is really getting after it in The Ballad of Billy the Kid and tears are strolling down my cheek. On, Mother’s Day 2011, my cranium wanders to a Malibu motor-head, bull-in-china-closet basketball dude, Timothy. Man, when the mother of my son – okay, here’s the Mother’s Day connection – ends up married to a dude who is a fox-hole kinda guy? – yeah me.

So really this becomes, thanks Jean, for finding Timothy. My son is better because of him. I am too. I have just exalted a man. Try it this week. Home, work or elsewhere, exalt someone deserved of praise. I know it will encourage them and, trust me, make your marrow warm too.

This week's Pep Talk: "Commencement Exercises"

2011-05-22T09:32:00.001-06:00

This time of year parents, grandparents or those closely connected with high school or college students attend graduation ceremonies and parties. It’s a festive moment in life designed to celebrate the student’s achievement of a worthy goal.

I have always found it somewhat interesting that even before accepting the well-earned diploma, deserved students and their guests experience “commencement exercises.” The studies are complete, the hard work rewarded, yet before receiving the “sheep skin” - are diplomas really made of sheep skin? - there is commencement, defined as “a beginning.”

Commencement speakers encourage the gathered to courageously venture beyond present boundaries limited only by imagination, not fear, in leaving a healthy and productive mark on our world – home, work and elsewhere.

The ink isn’t even dry on the diploma and students are being called to commence, to begin, another. It’s what life is all about, right? Aren’t we all, constantly called to “commence” a new journey? Quite often, unlike the joy and optimism abounding from a person’s graduation from high school or college, we are called to commence despite dark and foreboding moments: death of a loved one, divorce, illness, job loss, to name just a few. Whether we like it or not, life, and its unexpected and unwanted twists and turns, is constantly calling us to journey toward a new frontier.

It makes me think of Thelissa Zollinger. For the second straight year, I had the joy of hosting her creation, The Gift of Life and Breath 5K. A record crowd of more than 1,000 gathered on the University of Colorado/Anschutz Medical Campus grounds for the run/walk dedicated to raising money to fund research for a reliable early-detection test for lung cancer. As we stood on a raised platform preparing to start the race, the mother of six and grandmother of even more, looked down on this adoring crowd and proclaimed, “It’s because of great folks like you that we have hope!”

Four years ago, Thelissa was challenged to commence a new journey after husband Gary lost a battle with lung cancer. She has made it a life mission to discover a reliable early detection test for lung cancer. We’re getting close! This amazing woman is transforming her pain into promise for others. What about us? We too are frequently demanded to begin a new chapter, we are called despite the injustices life tosses our way, to begin anew. The question becomes, what will our commencement exercises look like?

Let’s encourage one another to be students, not victims of experiences; to realize we’re not alone in our struggles; to understand the importance of connecting with others who share similar challenges and finally, to encourage one another to move forward in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve.

Those commencement exercises, at any time of life, give us a chance to graduate at the top of our class.

This week's Pep Talk: "Others Before Self"

2011-05-15T11:32:00.001-06:00

The glasses were raised in tribute to a special person. The quartet’s youngest spoke first as the fourteen-year-old volleyball standout proclaimed: “Grandpa was such a good guy. He always made you feel so special.” The oldest member of the group dining at Elway’s/Cherry Creek on a Saturday night couldn’t hold back the tears in saluting a man and father, who died of lung cancer May 12, 2007.

As my daughter continued to speak of her Grandpa to the attentive crowd that included darling girlfriend and a dear family friend - I was the thorn among three roses - my mind wandered to Marvin Walter McIntosh Jr.’s final hours on this planet.

Those hours were spent in loving care at a Kansas City, Missouri hospice facility. The McIntosh children – four of us - had been summoned once it was apparent the end was near. I rushed to catch a plane from Denver to my hometown and arrived a tad later than desired: The 76-year-old gem of a guy had already slipped into unconsciousness. We had spoken many times on the phone in the days leading up to this moment so it wasn’t like there was anything left to be said. We were good to go as he prepared for what lies beyond physically failing to proceed. For the former sales executive, I would suspect it involves much golf on heaven’s finest courses - he’s deserved for sure.

It was then my turn to salute the mentor who played a huge role in teaching me to face adversity head on and never give up; the guy who, because of the example he showed in overcoming great obstacles throughout life, showed me the way to turn life’s lemons - the heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas. He was an excellent mentor.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I offered as a toast: “I’ll never forget, in those final hours, how Dad refused to die on May 11. There was no way he was going to pass on Matt’s - my younger brother - birthday.”

It has always stuck with me since that moment four years ago. We all were with him for those final hours, singing songs to him and embracing his barely responsive body. We knew life was fading fast but, in his final act before departing, a father once again demonstrated, as he did many times, to his children the value of thinking of others before self.

There’s no way, obviously, to confirm this observation, but I believe it’s the truth. It’s just the way he lived his life, thinking of others first. A father, mentor and friend, four years departed yet forever alive in spirit. He showed, until his final breath, the importance of others before self. I hope it makes him smile to know a son is trying like heck to emulate, and encouraging others to do the same, his example - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Make Mom Smile"

2011-05-08T06:56:00.001-06:00

I have always marveled at life growing inside a woman. The expanding belly, the late-stage waddle, the pain, then boom! – a child is born. I can only imagine what it must be like. April 13, 1958, December 23, 1989 and January 19, 1997. The months, days and years when I was present to witness mom, former wife #1 and former wife #2 give birth to your humble correspondent, a son and daughter respectively. Thank you, to each, for giving me life and lives I would sacrifice mine for.

America began officially celebrating Mother’s Day about a century ago. However, the call to recognize women began much earlier. Many credit Julie Ward Howe, writer of The Battle Hymn of the Republic, with planting the seeds. In 1870, dismayed by the carnage of our country’s Civil War, the New York City native wrote the Mother’s Day Proclamation. She was a trumpeter sounding a clear call for women to realize their potential to shape society at the political level.

A woman taking charge when somebody needs to step up and say, “What the heck is going on here?” Moms, you’re really good at that, bless you! It makes me think of Thelissa Zollinger. The mother of six was rocked to the core in 2004 when husband Gary was diagnosed, despite never smoking, with stage-four lung cancer. The energy executive courageously battled for life, enduring standard treatments and an experimental double-lung transplant procedure. It was a brave but, tragically, futile fight that ended in 2007.

Half a dozen beautiful children no longer had the physical presence of their father. It inspired a mother to tap into unimagined skills, talents and strengths to raise money for research to develop a reliable, early detection test for lung cancer. Luckily, we have early detection tests for breast, colon and prostate cancers, but not lung. This, despite, at least in Colorado, many more people die annually from lung cancer than the others.

Each year Thelissa, in conjunction with the AMC Cancer Fund, hosts The Gift of Life and Breath, http://www.thegiftoflifeandbreath.com. It’s a commemorative moment happening again this year May 21st. We are going to run, walk and raise money. Thelissa is determined not to allow Gary’s death to be in vain. “We’re making progress,” the vibrant grandmother of seven announced recently. “Last year’s event raised enough money to fund a year of lab research, we’re getting closer!” From across the conference room table the darling woman’s blazing eyes permeated my soul as she proclaimed, “I have hope.”

Hope is a good thing to possess, right? Defined as “expectation or desire for certain events to happen”, hope, like time in a mother’s womb, fuels our existence. As we celebrate those who gave us life, or nurtured it along the way, perhaps the greatest gift is not flowers, chocolate, jewelry or gift certificates. Perhaps the greatest gift we could offer is, despite the challenges present, a promise: we’ll never lose expectation or desire to live in ways that honor, nurture and add value to self, others and communities we serve.

I would suspect that would make most moms smile on their special day.

This week's Pep Talk: "Our Positive Energy"

2011-04-30T14:28:00.001-06:00

First, I want to apologize, it’s just the way my brain processes stuff. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It’s a Wednesday evening in the Mile High City. Nuggets and Thunder from OKC in game five of their first-round NBA playoff series. It’s a big game and a buddy is down for a beer and talk turns to discussion earlier in the day on the sports talk show, “Drive Time with Mac and Doog”, I co-host with Jimmy Doogan: “Why is it so damned tough – in fact it’s never happened – for professional basketball teams to rally from a 3-0 deficit to win a series when it’s happened in baseball and hockey – two other sports with similar seven-game series’ opportunities?”

Two responses from our great callers really stood out: a baseball pitcher or hockey goalie can dominate a final game while, in basketball, it’s more team-oriented. One guy, like Michael Jordan’s 63-point effort in 1993, can score a ton of points but, considering a winning score is usually around 100, many others must contribute to succeed.

I also believe – as do others – that home-court advantage is also a very powerful and dominate factor in winning the finale. A great example came in the first half’s final seconds of Denver and Oklahoma City: The Thunder had a chance, with a score, to take a lead into halftime. The Nuggets dug in and were playing solid team defense, the seconds vanished from the clock and the crowd rose to its feet to cheer on the hometown boys. This was a big moment and the crowd – considered one of the NBA’S best – was encouraging the home team.

Encouragement, defined as, “to give hope and confidence to”, is a good thing to possess always, but real nice to possess when it’s time to shine – home, work or elsewhere. You know, shine in a way that honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value to the communities we serve?

When we’re being encouraged to accomplish that, whether on the basketball floor, school, home, work or community, it just makes sense to try like heck to make it happen. I’m just a simple dude from Missouri but it makes sense, right?

The hometown crowd and its energy poured toward recipients – in this case basketball players – can be a very powerful gravitational force. The question becomes, is the energy healthy and productive? Which takes me to parents. We’re the hometown crowd and our energy will greatly impact the future success of our most valuable players – our kids.

My wish is that OUR positive energy will inspire children, ours and others, to succeed like the Thunder’ home-town crowd was encouraging – hope and confidence – its beloved to defeat a gutty Nuggets’ team. Our positive energy can contribute to amazing things being accomplished. While there are no guarantees, I would offer, rarely has anything worthwhile been achieved without it.

This week's Pep Talk: "Show Them"

2011-04-24T09:25:00.001-06:00

It was a Sunday to cherish: daughter played well and contributed substantially to a winning team effort as Juggernaut closes its season; the Rockies rally to win and take three of four, on the road, from Pittsburgh; The Masters has one of its most incredible finishes ever and I’m having a beer with my neighbor watching Ireland’s Rory McIlroy walk off the 18th green at Augusta National. I think of my son, Kyle.

Kyle and McIlroy, who led for 63 holes before crumbling late at the season’s first major golf tournament, are the same age. Each just 21 years old, kids.

I’m watching this disappointed Northern Ireland native walk off the final hole at the 2011 Masters and thinking, “I just want to hug that young man.” For whatever reason, watching the one-time PGA winner depart after leading, then decomposing, made me think of his parents and their feelings observing their son chasing dreams, and coming so close, but falling short. It had to have been a heartbreaking experience.

Once the dust settles and the pain subsides from disappointment – others or ours – is an opportunity to objectively look at what transpired – call it a moment of transformation. What becomes the great question in life is whether we will choose to become a student of the experience or victim of the circumstance. Will we grow, or shrink, from it? Our choice, choose wisely, right?

We all have those moments of regret along this journey we call life, right? We have those moments – like McIroy blowing a four-shot lead – where we wonder, “What the heck’s going on around here?” The question becomes, what to do about it?

In watching a young man suffer through a terrible final round and realizing “he’s the same age as my wonderful son” I sat there thinking about the first thing I’d want to do. What would, as a father, I do as my flesh and blood dejectedly departed golf’s biggest stage? I thought a warm embrace would be in order, probably with tears rolling down my cheeks, while proclaiming: “I’m so proud of you!”

But then here’s where it gets kinda tricky. The second-most important thing I could do after embracing him – same for a daughter too – would be, down the road a bit, in an encouraging way, ask, “How can we learn, not suffer, from this?”

Is there a greater psychological gift, demonstrating the value of becoming students, not victims, of experiences, we could give our children or others – home, work and elsewhere? The big challenge is – my opinion - all the money in the world can’t ensure learning, not suffering, from our experiences. We can’t buy it for our loved ones. We, hey I’m from Missouri, gotta show them.

This week's Pep Talk: "Kids at Heart"

2011-04-17T07:59:00.000-06:00

It was a beautiful, lazy and peaceful Sunday in the Mile High City. My NCAA tournament bracket was in shambles, Billy Joel was singing and I’m writing. My thoughts wander to a buddy. He had been real helpful at a recent fundraising event for Families of SMA, www.fsma.org. I was the emcee and Connor, 11-years mature, was outstanding assistant. He knew the facts, scoured the crowd for bidders during the live auction and just shined in my eyes. The fifth-grader’s also a darn good student and athlete.

Connor and I had never met before The Evening of Hope gala to help fight spinal muscular atrophy. But we were connected. We were one heartbeat thanks to a red JOCK wristband. Connor’s mother Joy, event organizer, had given it to him after I had offered it to her on the day we met to discuss my role. Handed the wristband, the proud mother grinned and proclaimed: “Connor will love this!” I hope you do too. I hope you love what JOCK stands for. Because, whether there’s an athletic bone in your body or not, there’s potential for a JOCK within each of us.

Let’s be joyful for blessings. I know, it’s tough; life pokes us in the eye – physically, emotionally and financially. What are we going to do about it? Choose to be joyful – despite the adversity – for blessings: a supportive team, income security, good health or something else. Be Joyful for them.

Next, let’s be optimistic about the future. Again, easy to suggest but challenging considering life’s roller coaster ride, right? Those moments of, “What the heck is going on here?” The families gathered for FMSA Rocky Mountain’s 10th fundraiser to battle, in spinal muscular atrophy, a terrible foe could vouch for that. It’s hard but necessary to be Optimistic about the future.

Also, courageously eliminate any self-destructive behavior preventing us from expressing ourselves in healthy and productive ways. What are we putting into our bodies? Our minds? Who are we hanging out with? Are they raising us up, or dragging us down? Whatever it is, Courageously eliminate it.

Late in the event, Connor and I are sharing the microphone as this fine young man told the gathered throng his JOCK bracelet - he was wearing it - stood for, “joyful, optimistic and courageous.” Then I asked, “Connor, if you’re joyful for the blessings of life, optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past, what’s the ‘K’?” Without missing a beat, my buddy, proclaimed, “You’re gonna kick butt!” You go boy.

Being joyful, optimistic and courageous – just my opinion – are three valuable talents to posses for this condition we call life. Connor knows that at eleven years of age. My prayer is he never - despite the stuff – forgets those truths. You too. We’re all kids at heart, right?

This week's Pep Talk: "Our Highest Calling"

2011-04-09T08:56:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had one of those moments, when meeting somebody, where you have an instant connection proclaiming, “I wanna play on your team?” Sure you have. I think it happens a lot in life.

I had one of those recently while enjoying a delightful lunch with Christy Cassidy, founder and executive director of Widow’s Walk. This organization partners with women in the creation of a “new normalcy” after the death of their spouse, faithfully dependent upon God, surrounded by a loving community and embracing life with hope, promise and vitality.

The mother of five created Widow’s Walk in 2009, nine years after life changed forever following her husband’s suicide. “I know from my own experience the challenges widow’s must confront with the unexpected loss of a spouse. Widow’s Walk is there to ‘stand in the gap’ for women searching for emotional, financial and spiritual support.”
As she shared her story, the phrase “stand in the gap” kept resonating within my soul. It made me think of the Greek word “Stekos” which, literally, means, “to stand in the gap.”

I had come across the word last fall when giving a Pep Talk to a high school football team. “Stekos” had been the motto of the Mountain Vista Golden Eagles during the 2010 football season. It was emblazoned wherever you looked and confirmed the wisdom of supporting one another.

Centuries ago, when folks lived together in walled communities, there were soldiers assigned to, when the community came under attack, “stand in the gap” of any holes blown in the fortresses’ walls. It was a task requiring courage, skill and commitment.

There are times in our lives when we are called to “stand in the gap” – home, work, and elsewhere. Those moments challenge us to walk the talk of never grow weary of doing good for others. It’s easy to say and affirm, but much more difficult to execute, right?

Cassidy found strength, despite the pain of losing a spouse, to start Widow’s Walk and “stand in the gap” for others. Where might it be time in our lives to do the same? Where might it be time to step forward with compassion and hold firm in support of another?

Illness, job loss, death and many other “what the heck is going on here” calamities blow holes in our lives and the lives of cherished loved ones. The question becomes, “What are we going to do about it?”

Let’s embrace “Stekos.” Let’s vow to stand in the gap for one another. Time marches on, unexpected and unwanted occurrences appear and through it all, one thing has never changed: the importance of caring for one another. It’s our highest calling.

This week's Pep Talk: "Continue Steadfastly"

2011-04-03T10:30:00.000-06:00

In the pre-dawn darkness of a chilly Colorado spring morning, I approached the gym door and heard music, reggae. It meant a special man was present. I saw him immediately, cherished a warm embrace and whispered, “How ya doing?” His response, as we continued the hug, was sobering: “I’m on the final journey.”

The embrace ended and I headed to another portion of Kinetics Fitness Studio – best gym in America, not for its spa, but its spirit. While working out I noticed my mentor pushing his cancer-ravaged body through its own paces. He has battled a rare form of cancer for as long as I’ve known him, more than seven years.

Tragically, the heavy doses of chemo, meant to keep him alive and cancer at bay, have begun to destroy organs. The clock is ticking. He knows it, everybody around the gym knows it and still he exercises as soothing reggae music plays in the background. The Texas native is usually the first to the gym – even before employees arrive at 5:30am – has his own key and preference for music, reggae.

While rowing, I watched him challenging his body, mind and spirit and noticed my pace had quickened considerably. The former medical industry worker is inspiring: he’s rowed more than 34-million meters – that’s a ton! – is the gym’s official rowing coach, a constant source of encouragement and owns a million-dollar smile. I can remember long ago when told of his cancer. With a big grin, he said, “I have cancer, but cancer doesn’t have me.”

Well, it does now. Life takes us on unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns. Illnesses strike, relationships dissolve, careers terminate and we’re left wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?” It’s called life and sometimes it sucks. Things cherished, like life itself, are threatened. Rarely do we have the joy of dictating the outcome.

The 62-year-old was still working out upon my departure. I walked into the prevailing dawn drenched in sweat and admiration for Nelson Boyd. Physical time – he admits, “the robe is about to drop” – with loving wife, daughter and devoted gym family is short, but he’ll flourish forever in spirit. There’s a banner in Kinetics proclaiming, the “Boyd Row House.”

Boyd’s a reminder to never quit, especially on our selves. Many things are beyond our control, but we do possess something no one, or nothing, can take from us, we surrender it: perseverance. Defined as, “to continue steadfastly, especially in something difficult or tedious.”

A beloved man continues steadfastly. It’s a great example to face challenges – home, work and elsewhere - with similar perseverance. It’s difficult and tedious for sure, but worth the effort considering the honorable impact delivered upon others wherever we roam - or row.

This week's Pep Talk: "Prove Them Wrong"

2011-03-27T10:22:00.001-06:00

It was a Wednesday evening of mid-March, the weather is spring-like as temperatures hit almost 70 in the Mile High City. The Drive Time with Mac and Doog chat centers on the resurgent Nuggets, promising Rockies and snubbed Colorado men’s basketball team.

The NCAA tournament selection committee had decided, to almost unanimous disapproval, the Buffs were not worthy of the national tournament. The outcry sparked by CU’s impressive resume, highlighted by three victories over a team – Kansas State - the committee proclaimed a fifth-seed. Wait a second, I’m just a simple dude from Missouri but when you beat a team, seeded fifth and you – talking about CU – don’t even make the tournament? That’s when it’s time for the old high-school chant after your team got robbed: “Elevator, elevator, we got the shaft.”

Anyway, the Buffs had, in a first-round NIT game, just beaten Texas Southern before another big crowd in Boulder. I picked up my phone and sent a text in an attempt to get CU’s head coach Tad Boyle on the show the next day to talk about the importance of proving ‘em wrong.

You know, there are many moments in life when we are shocked, disappointed and broken hearted. It’s not exclusive to a team deserved of membership in this year’s national collegiate tourney. No, it’s something each of us must deal with constantly.

What’s the only constant in life? Change, right? There are moments – home, work and elsewhere - when we sit there and proclaim: “What the heck is going on here?” But then it’s our choice: be a victim of the circumstance or student of the experience. It’s our choice. I’d like to recommend – and trust me I’ve screwed up as much as anybody – the latter, not former.

We learn from it, connect with like-minded folks, encourage one another to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win in trying to move forward. But, moving on is done in ways that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve. I know, easy to say, almost as easy to affirm but let’s be honest, far more difficult to execute, right?

When disappointment hits, and there are detractors, wouldn’t it be cool to prove ‘em wrong? We rise above, not shrink from, the adversity? We turn life’s lemons into – the heck with lemonade – sweet and savory margaritas?

It’s tough. There will be moments when that “why me, or us” whine will try and creep into our psyches. Don’t let it. Trust me, satisfaction, defined as “gratifying a honorable feeling,” of proving ‘em wrong - whether it’s a basketball team, another group or each of us personally, is well worth the effort.

This week's Pep Talk: "It's Rewarding"

2011-03-19T07:43:00.001-06:00

One of the wonderful things this condition called life has brought into my stratosphere of late is coaching kids, teams, businesses, coaches and others on how to play like champions in the game of life.

Life is challenging to say the least. Man, rarely does it go according to plan, right? Well, I’m blessed to be able to encourage others to lead a successful life. And for me, just my opinion, a successful life focuses on thoughts, words and actions that honor us, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve. I know, it’s not the only way to success, but I think it’s effective.

Anyway, I’ve been working with an athlete who plays on a team that really could use somebody to step forward as a leader. From our discussions, and from what I’ve seen in person, the coach is not really providing that right now. There’s plenty of butt chewing going on but little encouragement. This team needs a chief encouragement officer. I’ve suggested – planted the seed if you will – “If not the coach, why not you?”

It’s not easy to always be encouraging, right? There are times when, being encouraging, defined as “to give hope and confidence to” is the LAST thing we desire. And there’s no guarantee our efforts will bear any productive fruit, right? Do it anyway. We know, from moments in our own lives, when there was somebody – especially in our tough times – who believed in us, it was transforming.

It’s a Saturday afternoon as I write this, basketball, thanks to the Nuggets, Buffs and Bears dominate the sports talk world and for whatever reason, my mind wanders to my very first high-school football game. The Raytown South Cardinals hosting the North Kansas City Hornets. I’m a sophomore - back then high school was sophomore through senior – making my varsity debut. The Cardinals are marching, on the very first drive, inside the opponents’ ten-yard line when I screwed up big time. On a play, “T-36 Pass”, I failed to executive properly and threw the ball right to a defender who raced 99 yards in the other direction for a touchdown.

As I jogged off the field, head down in disappointment, Ray-South’s head coach Vance Morris met me before reaching the sidelines. “You know what you did wrong don’t you? He said with a grin. “Yeah coach, sorry” was my lame response. Then he added, with an even broader grin, something I’ll never forget. “That’s okay. I know it will never happen again.”

Coach Morris was, when I really needed it, a chief encouragement officer. The player I’m coaching about challenging times could be a team chief encouragement officer. We could be the same for somebody this week. It ain’t always easy, but I promise you, it’s rewarding.

This week's Pep Talk: "No Piling On"

2011-03-13T12:54:00.000-06:00

I am wonderfully blessed with two great kids, a 21-year-old son and his younger sister, 14. But let’s be honest, parenting ain’t an easy job, right? I like to joke, but it’s the truth, “I’ve been a 14-year-old boy; father of a 14-year-old boy, but never the father of a 14-year-old girl, I need some help!”

I’m inexperienced in raising a teenage daughter, determined to improve and have been reading, The 10 Greatest Gifts I Give My Children, in trying to become superior to my former self.

I recently digested many pages on a flight home to Denver from Las Vegas where I had spoken to employees, of Mitch Murch’s Maintenance Management (MMMM), at their annual operations, sales and awards meeting. MMMM is a St. Louis-based facilities management company led impressively by Tim Murch, a college buddy. In our two hours together, the discussion focused on, especially in challenging times, keeping the faith, leading by example and caring for others, including our selves.

In modern-day America, integrity-based corporate leaders like Murch – he learned well from his dad, the company founder - would love to fret more about expansion of business and less about expansion of employee’s waistlines. Our economy is contracting but our bodies are expanding along with the challenging byproducts: high blood pressure, heart ailments and diabetes, to name just a few.

MMMM is dedicated to providing world-class services to its employees, clients and communities. This team is united, but if the employees, which MMMM calls Team Members, don’t have their health, it’s tough to serve others, isn’t it?

As the plane began its descent into the Mile High City I was reading about the importance of, when talking with kids, using “forward-thinking” words and emphasizing the positive. The thinking being if we want to encourage healthy and productive decision-making from kids – and employees for that matter – it’s wise to focus on what they’re doing right, not wrong.

The author’s reminder of that truth took me back to a short conversation I had, the night before, with one of MMMM’s star employees as they patted their protruding belly: “I have been with this company for almost 30 years and have expanded along with it.”

Focusing on the negative is really counterproductive. Whether it’s a Team Member who knows it’s time to lose some weight or a parent who can’t resist criticizing a child, do your best to avoid it. Take the author’s advice and utilize a forward-thinking, positive outlook.

Quit beating yourself up, okay? Life, with its tendency to throw unexpected, and unwanted, twists and turns our way does a fine job by itself. We don’t, through negative self-talk, need to pile it on.

This week's Pep Talk: "Irv, Thanks Buddy"

2011-03-05T07:59:00.002-07:00

‘Twas a Saturday in late February, one of those spectacular Centennial State days that make you pause, mutter “wow”, and give thanks for living in Colorado. I’m reflecting on a chat, earlier in the day, with a friend. The conversation covered many topics but, at this time, was dialed in to the radio show I co-host weekdays, along with Jimmy Doogan, from 3-6PM on Mile High Sports Radio, AM1510 and FM93.7.

Our show is called, “Drive Time with Mac and Doog: Ain’t about us, it’s about YOU!” We really try and walk that talk in providing a forum where our listeners know their opinion is truly valued and respected. It’s like we’re a bunch of folks sitting around the bar, having a beer and, in a fun and competitive way, talking sports, and other stuff pertinent to playing like champions – sorry couldn’t resist the temptation.

Anyway, back to the story. I’m telling my friend how much fun its been to connect with Irv Brown and Joe Williams. The “Irv and Joe” show is on right before us, from 1-3. They are legendary Denver sports talk radio hosts and even better guys.

I knew Irv long before I met him. Back in the day when I’m was dreaming of big things in athletics, the Colorado native was considered one of the nation’s top basketball officials. Irv was always referring the big games. And as a young kid who wanted to play in those “big games” some day, I watched ‘em all. Irv was there. I saw him on television. He was respected by all and officiated seven national championship games, more than any referee ever.

After moving to Colorado in 1988, I’ve gotten to know Irv in different roles: husband, father and community leader at the top of the list. The father of three is one of those “fox-hole” kinda folks you like to hang with.

Irv played, through referring those big games, a part in forging my dreams. I will forever be grateful. And now today, his show with Joe - 30 years strong – airs live right before Doog and I take over at three. We see each other all the time while they’re departing and we’re entering the studio.

And then it hits me. This reflection on the condition we call life takes me to Irv Brown and, perhaps more important, to saying “thank you” to someone who helped shaped me. It takes me to being grateful, defined as: “feeling or showing that we value a kindness or benefit received.”

I’ve have certainly benefited from knowing Irv. Thanks buddy. Got somebody like that in your life? Reach out to them this week, okay? I promise, it will make you feel good.

This week's Pep Talk: "Healthy and Productive Engagement"

2011-02-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days to remember for its joy. Sunday morning of President’s Day weekend 2011. After restful sleep, up early for an hour’s drive northward to Greeley, Colorado to watch daughter and teammates on the improving Juggernaut 14-2 volleyball squad play in an important three-day holiday tournament.

The drive went smooth; daughter’s team won all three of its matches; drive home equally smooth; as was car wash owner showing real class in making sure I’m a repeat customer; and finally, a beer with my neighbor buddy while watching an exciting hockey game between visiting Pittsburgh and Chicago. It had been a great day, and it got even better.

My buddy and I talk about many subjects, family one of them. It gets around to my mom. I tell the Pueblo native, “Hey, I talked with my mom yesterday and she had to hang up, because she had something to do.” I went on to say Patsy Sue Perry – my firecracker of a mom - had later sent an email stating the visit with my sister – her daughter- Sister Sue’s boyfriend Eldon and a long-time neighbor from long ago had been “much fun.”

I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, but, I think “much fun” is a good place to hang, ain’t it? It makes me think of the power of engaging with others. It is so wonderful – my opinion - to connect with others of like-mind and spirit! Damn, life’s tough enough, I sure want the folks that I choose to hang with to be easy to get along with, fun and, as former CU football coach Bill McCartney would say, “fox-hole kinda guys.” In other words, when it’s time to charge the hill nobody’s worrying about 100% participation because we’re one heart beat.

But that’s where it gets tricky. There are times we’re certain it’s one heartbeat and everything but materializes. Yeah, we’ve been kicked around a bit. But if we want to truly turn life’s lemons into - heck with lemonade – sweet and savory margaritas we have to promise ourselves, and seek encouragement from others – to be smart about it.

Let’s vow to do our best in engaging with others, whenever possible, do so in ways – for each participant – that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve. My mom’s optimistic email reminded me of this great life lesson.

What a day. Part of it spent with you writing this Pep Talk. Thanks and please, tell me what you think, okay? Teamwork, it’s the key to success, right? It starts with healthy and productive engagement with one another – like you and me. It’s a truth of life at home, work and elsewhere.

Always has been, always will be.

This week's Pep Talk: "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained"

2011-02-19T16:24:00.000-07:00

Those of you who are regular readers/viewers of the weekly Pep Talk know recently I have begun co-hosting, along with my partner Jimmy Doogan, three hours of sports talk each weekday afternoon from 3-6 on Mile High Sports Radio, AM1510 and FM93.7, in Denver.

Well, recently we had a lot of fun with a Valentine’s Day promotion with one of our sponsors, Sonny’s Rocks, www.sonnysrocks.com. We encouraged listeners, and social media friends, to submit, in 200 words or less, their story about their favorite sports date ever. The winner each week received a nice pair of diamond stud earrings from Sonny’s, and a pair of tickets to a Colorado Avalanche hockey, from us.

We had many great entries. One really stood out, at least for me, for it’s example of the truth that sometimes in life, we gotta put fear aside and allow wonderment to win.

The contestant offered: “After having been divorced four years, I decided to ask my next door neighbor, a divorced mother of two, out on a date. We had lived next to each other for two years without really talking, except an occasional “hello” or wave.

One day in May, I was on my roof working on the swamp cooler while she was next door mowing her yard. I yelled to her, “Hey, would you like to go to a Rockies game with me?” She said, “sure.”

Heading to the game the following week, we were walking to the stadium and I kissed her for the first time on the corner of Park Avenue West. We had great seats, but after a few innings and an order of nachos, we decided to go for a walk. The Rockpile looked nearly empty, we spent the rest of the game talking and kissing and to this day, I still can’t remember who won the game!

I made the best catch of my life when we married six months later. That was seven years ago. I still love the Rockies, but I love my wife more. She doesn’t have an off-season.

This gentleman, he won a pair of earrings and tickets, while up on that roof, decided to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win. Turned out pretty well for him, didn’t it?

Where might it be time for you to take that leap of faith into the great unknown? Too often we allow past disappointments to hold us back. It makes me think of Shakespeare’s wise words: “Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

This week, let’s vow to make our rallying cry: “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

This week's Pep Talk: "The Power of Love"

2011-02-12T07:33:00.001-07:00

It was a Friday night culminating a busy and productive week and Billy Joel is keeping me company. I had just finished having beers with neighbor buddy Lou while watching first-half action of an entertaining game between the visiting Utah Jazz and hometown Denver Nuggets.

I descend into my basement office, thoughts churning, and decided to share this Pep Talk, trapped in my brain, to a team I know, from our conversations - home, work and elsewhere - cares about this stuff

Somehow the chat with the Centennial State native, which ran the gamut, ended up with a discussion about parenting. In particular, parenting from different homes. I have experience in this area considering my two marriages have, each time, provided residence in this challenging arena.

My good buddy and I have many things we enthusiastically debate. But, the importance of parenting is not one. We’re in unequivocal support of, “Hey, we brought them into this world. It’s our responsibility to show them a path to success in ways that honor, nurture and add value to their lives.

They didn’t ask to be brought into this world. We brought them here and it’s our responsibility to mentor the children. Come on folks, it’s not that complicated. A simple truth but, as we all know, far easier said than done.

When it comes to parenting, after the heartbreak of divorce, one of the four most powerful things I have learned, and tried like heck to embrace, is the wisdom of forgiveness. We need more of what’s defined as “to cease to feel angry or bitter toward” in America today. We need parenting partnerships that, despite the challenges associated with divorce, remain committed to a healthy and productive partnership with our collaborator in creating life.

The Piano Man was singing, You’re My Home in the background as I realized what inspired me to plop down, enjoy one more beer and fire this off to teammates on this unit trying to play like champions – home, work and elsewhere:

We talk to the kids constantly about the wisdom of getting along with others wherever they roam. Let’s vow this week to walk our talk. Get along. It will show our kids the truth of that belief. While it offers no guarantee for success it just might work in sending a powerful message to our kids, “We are forever, despite the crap life throws our way, united in our love for you.”

The power of love benefits all. I know it’s real easy for me to suggest and far more difficult to execute. Try.

This week's Pep Talk: "Angels Among Us"

2011-02-06T08:37:00.001-07:00

Many years ago, after undergraduate work at Mizzou, I moved to Dallas, Texas to work and, for a couple of reasons, leave the past behind.

Upon arriving in “Big D”, I connected with a long-time mentor Vance Morris. He and darling wife Paula lived in Sherman, Texas, about an hour north of Dallas. We met for dinner. The food and fellowship was fantastic. What transpired at evening’s end was truly transforming.

We had said our goodbyes and Coach Morris, now in his 51st year of coaching football at the collegiate and high school levels, was driving away. He suddenly slams on the brakes, jumps from the car, pops open the trunk and reaches into a duffel bag. He then hands me a torn, tattered and often-used Bible and says, “I want you to have this.”

Well, I was at a moment in life – new city, job and no social life – where, as Emerson would say, “the iron string within” encouraged me to spend time with this publication. Over the next few months, I read it from front cover to back, like a book. I discovered what an incredible book of wisdom it is.

One verse really resonated, Galatians 6:9. It says, “Never grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time you’ll reap the harvest if you just don’t give up.” Ever since embracing that belief, I’ve tried like heck to live it. I’m human and have fallen short many times but it’s a daily driving force in trying to, despite challenges, play like a champion – home, work and elsewhere.

Over the years there have been many times this truth has manifested itself. Another example just recently while reaching for my keys to gain entry into the Mile High Sports Radio studios for another day’s edition of my afternoon sports talk show. I had no keys. Earlier in the day, my radio co-host had picked me up, and I had walked off and left my house keys in a sitting area near the sidewalk in front of my home. Anybody walking the sidewalk could have grabbed those keys, walked to my front door, opened it and taken whatever they wanted, including the beloved and aging cat.

I called a neighbor and asked her to check if the keys were there or the house ransacked. A short while later, she responded: keys found and belongings secure. Apparently, I had an angel, disguised as a Federal Express employee, scoop up the keys and place them, and a package, on the front porch.

I believe the “never grow weary of doing good” philosophy manifested, at the proper time, reaping the harvest of a delivery person’s alertness and graciousness via the “law of circulation.” Never grow weary of doing good for others. Trust me, the rewards – angels among us – are worth the effort.

This week's Pep Talk: "Trying to Make a Difference"

2011-01-29T11:48:00.001-07:00

I was aboard an airplane transporting myself, and others, toward Kansas City from Denver on a late January Saturday morning. I’m reading the OP-ED section of the day’s Denver Post and a well-written tribute to Sargent Shriver. Awarded the Medal of Freedom, America’s highest civilian award, in 1994, Shriver recently passed from Alzheimer’s at the age of 95. Shriver was a champion for life’s underdogs, including founding the Peace Corps and Special Olympics.

The writer of the tribute worked, as a speechwriter, for Shriver in the early 60’s and was, upon Shriver’s death, reflecting on the one-time vice presidential candidate’s life. The scribe recalled a principle that inspired Shriver’s work: “The cure is care. Caring for others is the practice of peace. Caring becomes as important as curing. Caring produces the cure, not the reverse.”

What really resonated was the “caring for others is the practice of peace.” While Shriver’s work was on a global scale in caring for others and promoting peace through programs like the Peace Corps, the truth in “caring for others is the practice of peace” could certainly apply to many areas of our lives – home, work and elsewhere.

But caring for others can sometimes be a tricky proposition. We can truly care, try our best to make a difference and still not succeed. I admire Shriver’s thoughts about “caring produces the cure, not the reverse” but also realize it doesn’t always work. Say, for instance, we have a loved one, or loved ones, we care deeply about; we can care deeply for their well being but really are powerless to change what ails them until they decide to take the courageous steps in becoming superior to their former selves.

But we can always care. An earlier story read on the flight toward my hometown chronicled a controversial recent Colorado state legislature decision. In an effort to hack away at a projected one billion dollar budget deficit, a committee within the Centennial State’s legislative body decided to eliminate a program providing funding for low-income kids to have breakfast at school. Many had decried the wisdom of terminating a program ensuring needy kids, at a cost of roughly 30 cents a meal, food in their bellies at breakfast. The thinking being a growling tummy does not foster a hunger for learning – sure makes sense to me.

“Caring for others is the practice of peace.” Well, as stated before, while not ensuring success with an endeavor, I believe it provides peace in our hearts to know we tried to make a difference. Trying to make a difference. It fueled the passion Sargent Shriver brought to life. It can do the same for us.

This week's Pep Talk: "A Soothing Salve"

2011-01-21T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was driving toward my darling girlfriend’s place when thoughts steered toward my teenage daughter. An amazing eighth-grader full of so much: potential, beauty, intelligence, hormones and, most scary, a fascination with boys. Ugh.

Since I’m such an annoyance these days – what father of a teenage girl isn’t? – the call goes unanswered. I wonder, is the talented volleyball player staring at her phone pondering, “Nah, I have no desire to talk with my old man.”

I listen to her maturing voice inform me to leave a message. I oblige with the following: “Sweetie, this is your old man. I know things have been a bit rough of late with the ‘boy’ thing, but please don’t get caught up in the drama. It’s just not worth it.”

For whatever reason my mind jumps to an old song I remember singing years ago on the elementary school playground. It was a goofy song boys would sing about girls and then, girls would sing right back at us:

“Boys are made of goofy, goofy gopher guts, mutilated monkey butts; chopped up parakeets, french fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood, that’s what boys are made of.”

I’m sure, thank goodness, that song is rarely, if ever, uttered today on school playgrounds. It came back to my vividly when thinking of my daughter’s introduction to the wild and wacky world of relationships: a roller coaster ride with unexpected and unwanted twists and turns along the way. I finished singing that silly song, included “Love ya Sweetie” and one final thought: “I know it’s real easy for me to say ‘don’t get involved in the drama’ but also know, easier said than done.”

I parked the car and, for a brief moment, sat in stillness contemplating what I had just said to one of two – her older brother the other – people I think about constantly hoping and praying for their well being, Parents do that concerning kids, right?

We want to protect them from pain, of any kind - even middle school crushes. At the same time we know it’s all part of the journey and rarely can be avoided. I hope she realizes she’s not alone. We’ve all been there. If then hits me, a reminder of one of life’s most important truths: When crappy stuff happens, we often feel isolated, regardless of our age.

In moments of “Why me?” when forced to confront life’s lemons, reaching out to other like-minded folks takes courage, do it. Be vulnerable, bold and encouraging. Give hope and confidence to, and draw strength from, others who share similar experiences. It’s a soothing salve – home, work and elsewhere – for what ails us. Someday I hope darling daughter embraces that truth.

This week's Pep Talk: "Honor Be Our Clothing"

2011-01-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

I was standing in the back of the jammed-packed auditorium the day the Denver Broncos announced Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway was returning to the team, 12 years after his playing days ended, as its director of football operations.

But my eyes were more transfixed on owner Pat Bowlen than Elway. The two of them, along with team president Joe Ellis, sat before the horde of media, organization personnel and others gathered. The press conference was to formally introduce the legendary icon as the guy in charge of turning around the once-proud franchise’s sad state of affairs when it comes to winning football games.

Bowlen, who had not spoken in public for more than a year ended his brief comments, in introducing Elway, with: “Many years ago, after the first Super Bowl win, I said, ‘This one’s for John.’ Maybe now with John in charge, someday he will say, ‘This one’s for Pat’.”

It was a powerful statement from the Broncos long-time owner who, at 67 years old, is battling health issues most believe result from dementia or Alzheimer’s. The Broncos have publicly stated Bowlen has “memory issues” but have not been more specific. As Elway walked toward Bowlen and gave him a warm embrace, it stirred my soul.

Something in that big hug from the most-famous player in franchise history to the owner who built one of the most respected organizations in professional sports, tugged at my heartstrings. It resonated with Elway’s “can do” spirit and seemed to say the 50-year-old father of four will do everything in his power to grant Bowlen’s wish of seeing another Broncos’ Super Bowl victory in his lifetime.

When we are inspired to achieve great things in a way that honors others and self. Man, does it get any better than that? To possess a burning desire, in every fabric of our being, to accomplish something, healthy and productive, that means so much to so many, that’s playing like a champion.

Ya know, that type of passion is not reserved solely for a former quarterback trying to resurrect a sagging football franchise and ensure the legacy of a fantastic owner. We can tap into that type of passion to become superior to our former selves at home, work or elsewhere. The venues change, but – my opinion here - the strategies for success are the same.

It starts with realizing the value of chasing dreams and goals that, while good for us, more important, honor others. This week, try and remember this: “If honor be your clothing, the suit will last a lifetime.”

This week's Pep Talk: "A Prevailing Breeze"

2011-01-08T14:24:00.001-07:00

It’s the day of Christmas Eve 2010 and like Santa, I have just emerged from an afternoon nap, my good buddy’s down having a beer before his darling wife, Kerry, and this knucklehead from Pueblo, Colorado, host Kerry’s Christmas gathering for her side of the family.

It was actually a Friday, but felt like a Saturday, which is usually when the business consultant and I have a beer, watch some sports, catch up and exchange ideas. It’s a moment I cherish each week. Connecting with my buddy. It’s a good thing, connecting with others. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, we’re talking about a conversation I had earlier in the day. The conversation, with my older sister, revolved around a family challenge we share with many: aging parents. Fiercely independent in spirit, but let’s be honest, in need of close monitoring

As I’m driving on a beautiful Colorado morning, after just retrieving my computer from its caretaker, Sister Sue says, “Would you be willing to come back home (Kansas City) and help with this?” For the record, the beautiful singer and long-time boyfriend Eldon, offered frequent flier miles as a promotion I accepted without hesitation.

But it wasn’t until later in the day, when relaxing with my buddy, that the enormity of the opportunity became crystal clear. Do you remember the 1989 Academy Award winning film, Driving Miss Daisy? Well, I want to go back to my hometown of Kansas City and drive my aging mother around the city and help her. It’s been tough being 600 miles away in the Mile High City, incredibly busy and feeling something tugging at you, saying, “You need to help.”

Man, for me, when feeling what Emerson called the “vibration of the iron string within” and then choosing to ignore? I just don’t know how smart an idea that is. But, hey, I’m just a simple dude from Missouri. I’ve been called a lot of things in life. Smart has rarely been one of them.

An eternal force, I can choose to ignore, is calling me to take some weekends, fly back to Kansas City and drive someone, who supported all my childhood dreams, to appointed rounds. Where can I sign up for a gig like that? My mother. As she would say, “they threw away the mold” when she entered this world June 28, 1935. Patsy Sue Perry at birth and Pat McIntosh when I was born and raised is a piece of work. “Born the same day as John Elway” is what she’ll frequently remind me during our weekend calls.

Since my parents divorce, during my high school years, the smart and feisty woman has gone by Patsy Perry, her maiden name. I’m going back to my hometown and driving Miss Patsy. I have no idea if it might encourage progress in resolving our family challenges, but shame on me for not trying.

Whenever blessed to have somebody who will listen, I have always talked about “putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win.” Can I ask a favor? Wish me luck on this adventure, will ya? Mac’s heading home to walk his talk and knows having, as a prevailing breeze, your encouragement – hope and confidence – will help.

A prevailing breeze, encouragement from others, is rarely a bad thing, costs little and sure means a lot for the recipients. Try it this week. I promise, you’ll like it.

This week's Pep Talk: "Revvin' for 2011"

2011-01-02T09:49:00.001-07:00

At the holiday season we are reminded via television, radio, print and our souls, there are many less fortunate individuals in our world. For whatever reason, this year, when I watched, heard, read or thought about the less fortunate, my mind kept wandering back to a family of eight that lived in a cardboard shack in the Rio Grande Valley along America’s border with Mexico.

I started my television sportscasting career at KGBT-TV, the CBS station in Harlingen, Texas, one of the three major cities – Brownsville and McAllen the others – of the Valley. 25 years ago, and I doubt it’s changed much since, the four counties along the border were considered among the poorest in the United States. Each year, our station profiled families during “Christmas for the Needy” stories. As the weekend sports anchor assigned to document this family’s plight, eight amazing people entered my life. I can’t remember their names but I’ll never forget them.

Their cardboard shack had no running water, electricity and little room. It was basically big enough for two king-sized beds and a couch. The parents didn’t speak English and the young kids, six of them, struggled with it. After finishing, along with a bilingual photojournalist, interviewing and shooting some video of the family, we began the drive back to the television station. Thoughts of how to write this family’s story raced through my head: desperately poor, uneducated, but, from what I saw in the two-hour visit, rich with something very important - love for one another.

We all know the facts. Children born into poverty face a steep uphill battle in gaining the education necessary to compete in today’s global marketplace. For whatever reason, I then think of my kids. They were not born into poverty but were raised in another challenging situation: they’re children of divorce.

As we turn the calendar, the challenges of children born into poverty and raised in divorce, continue to hamper our country from becoming superior to its former self. When are we going to, collectively with a united voice, address these issues, neither of which benefits kids, 25% of our population, 100% of our future.

There’s an old saying: “There is always room for improvement.” Amen to that. As a nation, we have many areas where America can improve, reducing poverty and divorce just two of them. What about us personally? Where might it be time for the excuses to stop about underachieving in terms of relationships, health, career or volunteering? A new year is upon us and with it, a chance to improve in ways that honor us, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve.

Let’s get our motors revvin’ for 2011. We’ve got a fresh 365 on the clock. Let’s strive for improvement and play like champions – home, work and elsewhere!

This week's Pep Talk: "Our Life Stocking"

2010-12-25T08:11:00.001-07:00

It was a rare Saturday in December when there wasn’t a holiday party to attend. There was one scheduled for the evening, at my darling girlfriend’s house, but I wasn’t invited. No, this was her annual “girls only” gathering and I was told to stay away.

The day was spent holiday shopping, writing, working out, running errands before heading to Longmont, Colorado, 25 miles north of Denver, to check in on an old buddy of mine. We first met years ago when his company sponsored a hole at a golf tournament where I was also a participant. By random chance I ended up being their “celebrity” member of the group. We had a blast that day and have been good buddies ever since.

The Peoria, Illinois native has always been a dreamer. I like that a lot about him. He’s built several successful companies and always seems to have another idea waiting in the wings. He does a nice job of, as I like to say in Pep Talks, “putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win.”

But like all of us, the entrepreneur is not perfect. He has talked for the past year about writing his first book. Finally, after twelve months, we’re seeing some action. It’s my pleasure to occasionally make the short trip north and encourage the process. “Just start dumping” is what I usually tell him in trying to get his life story out of his brain and into, at least initially, a computer.

Evening was descending upon the day as we sat in the back of his retail shop and talked about jumpstarting his dream. In uncharacteristic fashion for this energetic father and husband, he’s allowed fear and self-doubt to dominate courage and wonderment. He’s been reluctant to start something healthy and productive that consumes a lot of his thoughts. Ever been there? I sure have.

So often in life we battle ourselves when it comes to chasing dreams and goals. We think constantly about something but do little, or nothing, about it. I believe two culprits hold us back: self doubt and ridicule. Our brains tell us, “you might fail” and our brain also tells us, if we share the idea, for validation, with someone else they might have a wide-eyed look of, “Are you crazy?” We trapped in this vice, created by our brain, between self-doubt and potential ridicule. It’s a lousy location when your spirit inside is saying, “go for it!”

It’s the holiday season of 2010, time to think of meaningful gifts for others. What about giving a gift to self this year? How about the gift of courage winning the, almost daily, battle against self-doubt and potential ridicule?

Courage. Self doubt. Ridicule. This holiday season may you unwrap the blessings of the first choice: courage. It’s a gift. The other two are limiting beliefs we must try our best to keep from slipping into our life stockings.

This week's Pep Talk: "The Best We Possess"

2010-12-19T09:00:00.001-07:00

It’s that time of year again, the holiday season and its tsunami of greeting cards arriving daily. I do love the yearly chronicles many friends send at this time. I must admit to being terrible about making the time and taking the effort to send holiday greeting cards. I can’t remember the last time – probably when I was a married man a decade ago – that I’ve sent anything to anybody. I promise though, I’m not a Scrooge.

Recently I was opening various cards that had arrived during the week. I rip open one from a buddy who is veteran of the human resource world. An entrepreneur, he’s built a fine career and always sends cards, not just at Christmas, but many other holidays.

This year’s card did not recite events of the past twelve months. Instead it listed eight thoughts about life. You have probably heard them before but it never hurts to be reminded occasionally, right? Each on its own, and certainly all collectively, help us play like champions – home, work and elsewhere. Allegedly they come from a sign hung on the wall of a children’s home in Calcutta, India. They are excerpted from Mother Teresa’s book, A Simple Path:

· People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered – Love them anyway
· If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives – Do good anyway.
· If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies – Succeed anyway.
· The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow – Do good anyway.
· Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable – Be honest and frank anyway.
· What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight – Build anyway.
· People really need help but may attack you if you help them – Help people anyway.
· Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth – Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

What a great list! But, let’s be honest. It’s easy for me to read it, easy for you to affirm it, but when times get tough and we have to LIVE that list? Easier said than done.

To love unconditionally; to never grow weary of doing good; to strive constantly for success; to be unfazed when good deeds go unnoticed; to be honest and frank; to realize “stuff” happens that can wipe out all the hard work; to realize some fear help and reject it. Living with a mindset where wonderment defeats fear does leave us susceptible to bumps and bruises to the mind, body and spirit. Hey, it’s life.

The simple act of opening a holiday greeting card reminds me of the importance of being a student, not victim, of life’s experiences. It’s not easy, we get kicked in the teeth more often than we’d like but let’s always encourage – give hope and confidence to - each other to keep on offering the world no less than the best we possess anyway!

This week's Pep Talk: "Do Your Best"

2010-12-12T10:06:00.001-07:00

It was one of those Saturday afternoons in the Mile High City that makes you give thanks for living in the Centennial State: late November but the sun is warm, the breeze cool and the sky a blazing blue – it’s beautiful.

I have removed more leaves from the gutters, winterized the sprinkler system and swept the garage. It’s time for a beer so I wander, with cold beverages in hand, down the street to my neighbor’s to provide hydration while he takes respite from a project of his own. Teamwork, it’s the key to success.

The conversation centers on Denver Broncos’ head coach Josh McDaniels. The young coach, after starting undefeated through six games a year ago, was now the subject of much criticism and ultimately, would be fired for winning just five and losing 17 since the great start. As a sports talk show host in the Mile High City, trust me, many were grumbling the Ohio native, a Bill Belichek protégé in New England, was not the right guy for the beloved Broncos.

My buddy, between swigs of brew, states, “There are certain horses for certain courses.” I had never heard that phrase before and it just about knocked my socks off. Ain’t that the truth? So often in life we make decisions that initially appear to be quite good. But then over time, it becomes apparent that we’ve got the wrong horse for the course; or vice versa, we’ve got the wrong course for the horse.

We’re left wondering, “What the heck is going on around here!” These thoughts might be revolving around a deteriorating or destroyed marriage, job, health or whatever. We have that sudden, or perhaps gradual, realization, “this isn’t working.” It’s a lousy spot to be.

Then the question becomes, “What to do about this predicament?” My goodness, when we’re talking about making decisions dramatically affecting relationships, professions and health, a lot of soul searching, with its inherent battle between fear and wonderment, comes along for the ride. I want to say, “Choose wonderment” but realize that’s too vague.

Perhaps this is better. When it comes to answering the question about “horse and course” or “course and horse” let’s try, when thinking about making a change, to remember the three-way test: Does what I’m contemplating honor me? Nurture those dependent upon me? Add value to the communities I serve? If you hit the “yes” trifecta on that test – go for it. While there’s no guarantee of success, you run this race against adversity without blinders, with little need for a corrective whip and a sense of accomplishment at the finish line of something very important: The satisfaction of knowing you did your best.

This week's Pep Talk: "Worth the Effort"

2010-12-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

Recently my son and I were driving home from a “watch party” for the Colorado/Nebraska football game. We were listening to post-game comments of the Huskers’ convincing win over the Buffs in their final Big 12 battle before each departs, respectively, for the Big Ten and Pac 12 conferences.

Over the radio, CU’s interim head coach Brian Cabral, who had led the Buffs to impressive wins over Iowa State and Kansas State since replacing Dan Hawkins, was talking about his chances of earning the job permanently. He mentioned that yes, he wants the job, but, “It is really out of my control at this point.”

As we drove quietly toward home, with the sun disappearing along the Centennial State’s purple mountain majesty known as the Front Range, Cabral’s “it’s really out of my control” statement permeated my marrow. It made me think of the Serenity Prayer that starts with: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

I first heard the prayer years ago while attending Alcoholic Anonymous meetings in support of a family member struggling with alcohol abuse. It’s one of those, at least in my opinion, “simple to say and affirm, but not easy to execute” kind of statements. The prayer is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian of the early-to-mid 20th century, who admits, “It may have been spooking around for years, even centuries, but I honestly believe I wrote it myself.”

The serenity to accept things we cannot change. Wow, two painful divorces, I fought hard to avoid, immediately come to mind. Each marriage produced an amazing child. Each divorce rocked their world. But with time as the great healer, this unwanted and unexpected journey has become a blessing in bringing a wonderful woman into my life. Son and daughter, now almost 21 and 14, adore her too. Along with my kids’ respective mothers and their new families we joke, “We put the fun in dysfunction.”

All joking aside, I do struggle with how divorce may affect the kids’ thoughts of relationships. I hope and pray my behavior in dealing with life’s disappointments – home, work and elsewhere – will always be an example to them of, as I wrote about in my third book, “turning lemons – heck with lemonade – into sweet and savory margaritas.”

Learning to accept the things we cannot change. Brian Cabral cannot change the disappointing outcome of a game where victory probably would have guaranteed him the job as CU’s next football coach. I can’t change two divorces, you can’t change – fill in the blank.

What we can change is perspective concerning life’s challenges. Let’s vow to encourage one another to never grow weary of being students, not victims, of our experiences. It takes courage and wisdom but is so worth the effort.

This week's Pep Talk: "Reliable & Trustworthy"

2010-11-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

At this time of year we pause and, collectively as a nation, give thanks. One that comes immediately to mind for me are wonderful neighbors who reside in my Congress Park neighborhood of Denver. For instance, my alley neighbors will frequently call and say, “Hey Mac, you left your garage door open.” This wonderful couple and their two children have lived directly across the alley since I moved in 16 years ago. I’ll never forget the first time we met.

I had pulled into the garage, jumped from the car and rushed into the house to retrieve – can’t remember what - something important. Well, I forgot to put the car in park. In the brief moment I was inside, it rolled out of my garage, across the alley and blasted into their garage door, destroying it. I had to knock on their front door, introduce myself and pronounce, “I just demolished your garage door.” The father, an attorney, with a wide grin on his face, cracked, “Thanks, I’ve wanted a new door for quite some time.”

Over the years we have shared many visits. They’re usually on weekends as we clean out those garages or happen to, simultaneously, arrive or depart via them. We occasionally have dinner and it’s been a joy to watch their two children mature.

I recently attended their son’s Bar Mitzvah. First, let me say, I love attending this Jewish tradition of welcoming a young man, or in the case of a Bat Mitzvah, young woman, into adulthood and its possibilities and responsibilities. The music, energy and love present – very cool. My alley neighbors’ son did a magnificent job of reading the Torah and then, during what’s called the “D’var Torah”, giving his interpretation of the reading– a life lesson to share with those gathered.

The middle-school student talked about trust. In reading the Torah, he told the story of Isaac, wife Rebekah and their two sons Esau and Jacob. At one point in their family history, betrayal changed their lives forever. The 13-year-old was reminding everyone the importance of trust, defined as, “firm belief in the reliability or truth of a person or thing.”

I sat there in admiration of this handsome soccer enthusiast; once a baby, then a cute little kid with the longest eye lashes you’ve ever seen and now, on his big day, a young man accepting responsibilities for his actions and encouraging us to do the same!

Ladies and gentlemen, without trust in one another we have nothing. This week, wherever we roam – home, work and elsewhere – let’s be reliable in ways that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve, okay?

Later, at a beautiful celebratory luncheon, I shook this young man’s hand and said “Thanks” for the reminder about the value of being reliable and trustworthy. Kids, they teach the darndest things don’t they? Shalom.

This week's Pep Talk: "Deeds and Words"

2010-11-20T08:01:00.001-07:00

It was a recent Sunday morning in the Mile High City: a good workout behind me, reading the Denver Post and watching the Broncos host the Kansas City Chiefs in front of me on this chilly mid-November day. I go to Facebook to see what the heck’s happening in the world.

I notice my former wife has posted pictures of our precious daughter. They’re pictures from a while back, before the teen years. Looking at the pictures, my mind wanders to an earlier time, the time of these pictures, when that same daughter arrived home from school, threw her backpack on the kitchen counter and headed off toward her bedroom.

I began to sift through the pack for the school’s “Wednesday Envelope.” Back in the days before mass email communication, this envelope was the school’s weekly link with parents. As I pulled the packet from the pack, I notice another crumpled slip of paper toward the bottom of the backpack. I straightened it out. It was obviously from the weekly children’s Mass held Wednesdays during school hours. It was a poem apparently meant for the kids during the service, it read:

“We are writing our gospel a chapter a day, by the deeds that we do, words that we say; others will read what we write, determine whether it’s faithful and true; what’s the gospel according to you.”

I was impressed and read it again, and again. It then dawned on me that really, we all are writing our gospel - our story - a chapter a day by the deeds that we do, words that we say. Others – home, work and elsewhere – will read what we write, determine whether it’s faithful and true; what’s the gospel, what’s the story, according to us?

Let’s take some inventory. What does our story look like right now? Is it one that honors us, nurtures those dependent upon us and adds value to the communities we serve? If the answer is yes, great; if not, what are we doing to make sure the next chapter embraces that honor, nurture and add value script?

Life is full of unexpected and unwanted twists and turns. We all know that, right? What is the great unknown is how will we react when the storms of life threaten to batter our bodies, brains or bank accounts.

A Sunday morning glance at Facebook and seeing pictures of my daughter takes me back to a backpack story that inspired my first book Kids Teach the Darndest Things: Life Lessons from Our Little Ones.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are writing our gospel – our story – a chapter a day. It boils down to a few basic things. Life is simple, not easy. The deeds we do and the words we say, let’s make sure they’re good ones, okay?

This week's Pep Talk: "Digest and Pass It On"

2010-11-13T08:55:00.001-07:00

I recently attended a farewell party for a special guy. We used to have breakfast together consistently before schedules, illnesses and life’s other stuff interrupted our routine. This wonderful gentleman, Jerry, and his darling bride Normadeene, are in their advancing years. They are moving south to Arizona. I’ll miss them a lot.

I’ll never forget many of our moments, but one especially stands out. We were having breakfast and sharing thoughts when the former University of Illinois Fighting Illini team chaplain kicked his oratory skills into high gear.

When Dr. Jerry Gibson gets fired up about something over breakfast, it’s time to be on high alert. His enthusiasm for God and the topic of discussion whips him into frenzy. The wonderful soul often projects whatever’s being consumed - eggs, sausage and biscuits usually - toward his eating companion. Despite having to dodge food occasionally, I love his passion.

Anyway, on this day we were talking about the importance of, as I like to say in Pep Talks, “putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win” when the octogenarian proclaims: “Mark, when it comes to having the courage to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win, we could learn from turtles!” The long-time pastor’s eyes were ablaze. I smiled back and said, “Come on man, what the heck are you talking about, we could learn from turtles?”

His response knocked me back in the booth: “Think about it, a turtle doesn’t make any progress until it STICKS ITS NECK OUT!” Ain’t that the truth? Quite often, when life has tossed lemons our way and we’re sitting there wondering, “What the heck is going on here?” we begin to withdraw into our respective shells. We allow fears and self-doubts to hijack dreams and goals.

Please remember to not allow fear to get in the way of your dreams. No, instead remember courage is the soul of your dreams. Where’s it time for you to stick your neck out? At home, work or elsewhere? Where is it time to be limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges you face?

This week, let’s display a picture of a turtle in a prominent place where it’s seen constantly. It will remind us of a simple, but not easy, truth: most often in life, to get where we want to go, we gotta stick our necks out and, in pursuit of dreams and goals, risk failure, ridicule and scorn.

Jerry’s advice, unlike the projected food, hit its mark. I hope you digest and pass it on.

This week's Pep Talk: "Sound the Alarm"

2010-11-07T08:45:00.001-07:00

It’s one of those Saturdays a middle-aged dude enjoys: awaken next to beautiful significant other who, during a pre-dawn gentle goodbye kiss, sarcastically mutters, “It’s the weekend, you can sleep.”

Later, as dawn awakens, connect with wonderful friends at the gym; complete errands, including mailing a copy of Lemons into Margaritas to a buddy who wants his son to read it; haircut with Jackie, who has sheared my locks for about 15 years and finally back home.

By now, afternoon has arrived and I’m parked on the couch, cold beer in hand and watching alma mater Missouri getting blown out early against Nebraska on the road. My brother from another mother, neighbor Lou Lazo, is keeping me company.

While watching the game, Mr. Lazo and I are talking about the current state of our nation. He offers, “We have become a nation that values ideology more than intellect.”

It’s one of those “knock my socks off” kinda statements. Obviously there will be many who will say, “That’s crazy.” But for a few moments, let’s consider that statement, “valuing ideology more than intellect”, is true.

Would it be wise - home, work or elsewhere – for us to ever believe ideology is more important than intellect? Let’s take a look at the definitions of each, okay?

Ideology is defined, according to the Oxford American dictionary, as “the principle ideas and beliefs characterizing a particular group.” Meanwhile, intellect is defined as “the mind’s power of reasoning and acquiring knowledge.”

It seems to me, but I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, it would be more productive to be of person of reason and dedicated to acquiring knowledge, than a person professing unshakable belief in a group’s ideas and beliefs.

Why? Because, for me, the question becomes, “What if the ideas and beliefs of the group you pledge allegiance to – ideology – are ineffective and the smart thing – intellect - to do is exercise reason, acquire knowledge and improve?

Become, as I like to say in each and every Pep Talk, “superior to our former selves in ways that honor us, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities – home, work and elsewhere – we serve?”

Which leads to the final question: Why would we ever adhere to old beliefs our collective souls tell us no longer work instead of embracing a new frontier? I think, just my opinion, it’s because we’ve accepted, as okay, a complacent attitude toward the value of learning.

When we lose a passion for learning, it’s time to sound the alarm. When the desire to learn is lost, nobody wins.

This week's Pep Talk: "I Can"

2010-10-31T08:15:00.000-06:00

I was recently enjoying a business meeting with a guy about my age when he told a story that just about knocked my socks off. His name is Chris Pentico, everybody calls him “ChrisP.” The Colorado native has experienced adversity in life, including surviving a small-plane crash, and is a fan of the weekly Pep Talks. He also thinks your humble encourager should run for president in 2012. He even printed up some “McIntosh in 2012: Common Ground” bumper stickers. Let me know if you want one.

Anyway, the father of three wonderful daughters, and the man who brags about marrying well above his head, was a good athlete in his earlier years. His dream was to play collegiate football and baseball at the University of Houston.

He had a baseball coach there who, in ChrisP’s opinion, “was one of the greatest motivators ever.” One of the coach’s most powerful motivational tools was simply, a can.
Yes, just a plain can that always sat on the coach’s desk. It was a constant reminder to the mentor and the players who visited his office of something very important in life – belief in self.

It was just a can but it stood for “I can.” So often in life we get into challenging situations testing our fortitude, defined as “courage in the face of pain or misfortune.” We want to give up, toss in the white towel, surrender, call it what you want. It’s at those moments when an “I can” can could make a great difference.

It sure did in the life of many University of Houston baseball players who would wake up on certain mornings, during challenging times – on and off the diamond – and find an “I can” resting on their dormitory doorknob. It was reminder to the players that the coach had their backs and believed in them.

I want to challenge each of you this week. Get yourself an “I can” and stick it somewhere visible to you each day. Also get another “I can” and put it on the doorknob of someone you cherish who might need a little encouragement – hope and confidence – right now.

And there’s one more thing you need to do. Put a little note inside the can asking the person for some of their time so you can explain - and convince them you’re not crazy - placing a can on their doorknob.

This exercise makes me think of the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great philosopher of the 1800’s who once proclaimed: “It’s one of the most beautiful compensations in life; no man, or woman, can sincerely try and help another without helping themselves; serve and thou shall be served.”

To steal a line from Nike, “just do it.” Together, utilizing the “I can” can we can make a difference in the lives of others. Nobody will benefit more than us.

This week's Pep Talk: "Give a Hoot"

2010-10-23T09:16:00.001-06:00

I had a female recently unsubscribe from the weekly Pep Talk distribution list proclaiming - I’m paraphrasing - “I could give a hoot about football, don’t bore me with it.” The fact the word “football” had not appeared in the recent “Simple, not Easy” means little in comparison to her disdain.

So, I promise, this Pep Talk is not about sports, but starts with a sports story. It’s about life and trying our best to add value to home, work and elsewhere. It was the Colorado Rockies at St. Louis Cardinals on the final Saturday of the 2010 baseball regular season. The teams, each expecting post-season appearances, had been eliminated from playoff contention and were playing out the string. Often, these meaningless games are a good opportunity for coaches, general managers and fans to see which players truly love the game and who, once there’s little to play for, like my female critic mentioned earlier, could give a hoot!

Anyway, it was a close game. The Rockies’ Ubaldo Jimenez, already with the club single-season stikeout record in his back pocket, was trying to win his 20th game - a respected baseball milestone.

About halfway through the scoreless affair, play comes to a halt, for good reason: to honor a great man, Cardinal Hall-of-Famer Stan Musial. 89 years young and looking damn good, the three-time world champion slugger known as “Stan the Man” finished his career with around 3,600 hits, close to 500 homers and was a 24-time All Star in 22 seasons. What you ask, “How can you be a 24-time All-Star in 22 seasons? Long ago, they played two All-Star games each summer.

Anyway, the television play-by-play announcer, as viewers see a picture of everybody in the stands waving to the icon from a golf cart circling the field states: “This great man is a recipient of the Medal of Freedom and will receive it soon from president Obama.”

The most honorable thing that can ever be bestowed upon an American citizen is the Medal of Freedom. You are an American stud or studette – case closed. That’s the story of the Pennsylvania-born Musial. The “Medal of Freedom” mention takes me to Whitney Young. I talk about his guy often when somebody gives me the great joy of standing before a crowd and encouraging them with a Pep Talk.

Young was a military, civil rights and family leader who, in 1971, drowned on an overseas business outing. Two years earlier, and emerging as a promising national leader, President Johnson awarded the Kentucky native the Medal of Freedom.

Young’s life motto was: “There’s nothing noble in being superior to somebody else, true nobility lies in becoming superior to our former selves.” Damn, I love that! A baseball game halted to honor a legend takes us to “superior to our former selves.” Would it be fair to suggest, another way of saying “superior to our former selves” is “there’s always room for improvement?”

And then it gets better. In looking up Medal of Freedom history, I run across the requirements: “an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors."

It then inspires me to encourage you to consider something: How about each of us this week, in our thoughts, words and actions decide we’re going to focus on making an especially meritorious contribution to the security or interests of home, work and community?

Let’s be honest, the odds of ever being awarded a Medal of Freedom are slim, but we can contribute – play like champions - to the security and interests of our homes, business and communities, can’t we? I know, it ain’t easy. That’s why it’s darn important to encourage one another. Encourage defined as, “give hope and confidence to.”

Do that this week. While walking your talk, reach out to somebody and give them hope and confidence to act likewise. In comparison to a disgruntled Pep Talk subscriber, give a hoot, okay?

This week's Pep Talk: "Salutations to Seuss"

2010-10-16T08:13:00.001-06:00

Whenever given the opportunity of speaking before a group and encouraging others, despite what arrives unexpected and unwanted, to try our best to turn life’s lemons – the heck with lemonade – into sweet and savory margaritas, we always talk about the importance of “being limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenge we face.” I know that might sound incredibly naïve and idealistic, but here’s a real life example that exemplifies that truth.

I have recently learned about a young man who was attending a prestigious Ivy League university. He ran into trouble with the school’s administration when he and some buddies were caught drinking in their college dorm. As punishment, administrators forced the aspiring writer to resign from all university extra-curricular activities, including working for the campus humor magazine. It was a devastating blow. But remember, as stated before, sometimes in life we must, “be limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face.”

Raised in Springfield, Massachusetts - the birthplace of basketball among other things – the spirit of this son of German immigrants knew no boundaries. He began to write, and contribute to, the humor magazine under a pen name that made him sound important – doctor – and utilized his middle name - Seuss.

The rest is history. Theodor Seuss Geisel, before passing at the age of 87 in 1991, became an American icon. You know his work well: Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Dartmouth University, the Ivy League school where, during Prohibition, he was caught drinking in the dorm, has a cool way of honoring one of its most distinguished alums. Incoming freshman always take a camping trip together - a unifying event. On their return to campus, the Dartmouth rookies overnight at a New Hampshire lodge where, the next morning, green eggs and ham are served for breakfast.

Theodor Seuss Geisel faced adversity – getting booted off the campus humor magazine – and decided to be limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenge he faced – a passion to continue to write for that publication.

Each of us has unique challenges. And while the challenges are unique, guess what? The strategy to deal with them remains the same! We must - I know it’s easier said than done - put fear aside and allow wonderment to win. To steal a line from Dr. Seuss, when talking about the wisdom of putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win: “"If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good."

This week's Pep Talk: "Common Ground is Key"

2010-10-10T09:19:00.001-06:00

I was reading the Denver Post on a recent Sunday afternoon when a letter to the editors caught me eye:

“Our national ‘dialogue’ is dominated by self-important agendas meant to set aside others and their concerns and needs. Call me crazy and perhaps naïve, but wouldn’t we be a lot better off by putting all the energy into finding common ground?”

The writer, Kelsey Kenfield from Denver, is somebody I want - as former CU football coach Bill McCartney would say - “to charge out of the foxhole with.” Common ground. Is it fair to call it “teamwork?” It’s stressed everywhere: our families, schools, neighborhoods, businesses and athletic teams. Why in the heck have we lost track, it’s a universal truth? We must work together to solve what ails us. I know, simple, not easy.

For example, two issues surrounding life in America needing immediate attention are education and immigration. Our schools are financially strapped and our immigration policies in desperate need of enforcement and revision. Whenever I have the honor of standing before a group and encouraging them to play like champions in the game of life we always talk about “believing in the law of circulation; that one good deed leads to another.”

In the context of education and immigration, how about this idea: We finally get Congress to pass new immigration policies providing excellent security at our borders, a reasonable pathway to citizenship and a promise, from those applying, to the following: “work hard at your job, obey the law and encourage school-age children in your home to embrace the value of education and fluency of English as their primary language.” In other words, The United States of America sets expectations for those who desire a new start in our country. In return, the path to citizenship would be through a front door, not the back and its dangerous pitfalls.

Returning to Kenfield’s thoughts expressed in the Post about “common ground” and the importance of it, could this be a step in the right direction? America sets the expectation, those seeking admittance accept, the door is open, come on in. It’s really no different than successful strategies for raising kids, building businesses and safe neighborhoods: we find common ground, set expectations and expect cooperation. When that doesn’t happen, there are consequences.

Finding common ground, setting expectations and expecting cooperation are excellent building blocks for success – anywhere! It boils down to this: are we willing to sacrifice self – costs a little –for the betterment of the common good – means a lot? Like Kenfield, I’ve been called crazy and naïve before, but if you ask me, when a majority of folks answer “yes” to questions about common ground, expectations and cooperation, we’ll begin to make progress wherever we roam in America – home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Beats being Bummed"

2010-10-03T10:47:00.000-06:00

It was a spectacular Mile High City day of mid-September. I’m wandering around my near eastside Congress Park neighborhood: stopped into to see my buddies who own the grocery store; then a quick meeting with business partner just a few doors down and then, lunch with another buddy and his two darling daughters – neither would sit next to me and crammed into the booth next to their father. Am I really that scary?

I’m now strolling back to my modest abode, enjoying the warm sunshine, incredibly blue sky and perfect temperature – feeling very blessed. And then it gets better.

I bump into a neighbor friend whose mother, in her 80’s, is still very physically healthy but has some memory challenges. Those challenges make living in an assisted living facility a smart move for her and loved ones – folks like you - agonizing over the best strategy - independence or assistance – for their cherished creators, mentors and supporters.

“My mom rarely calls, but she called the other day,” says my neighbor friend, a great woman, wife and mom, “She was so jacked about their trip to the mountains.” Then my friend said something that made my marrow gurgle: “She sounded so joyful.”

Ah, music to my ears. Whenever I have the thrill of standing before a group and encouraging them to “run to daylight” and “turn life’s lemons into – the heck with lemonade – sweet and savory margaritas” we always talk about the importance of being “joyful for the blessings of our life.”

Now, I understand, that’s easier said than done. Quite often, when it seems like you’re up to your ass in crocodiles – I heard that often growing up in Missouri – and feel like lunch for the crocs, it’s damn tough to be focused on being “joyful.” I get it.

But we do have a choice. We can still, despite life’s lemons, be focused on the sweet and savory, the margaritas. It might be real hard to find them sometimes but they’re usually there. What we don’t know until we’re in that spot, is whether we will choose to focus on the challenge itself or perhaps, be focused on a solution. And sometimes the solution is to say, “Okay, I know I have this – fill in the blank – but I choose to refuse to allow it to have me.”

Focus on your blessings. Promise yourself to be a student of your experiences and not a victim of your circumstances. My neighbor’s mother is aging, forgetful and has other issues, but at least on this two-day getaway with others from her assisted living facility, she chose to be joyful.

It’s a good place to operate from. Whether it comes from walking around your neighborhood on a glorious day, remembering a great vacation or counting your blessings, being joyful sure beats being bummed out. Today, tomorrow and down the road - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Simple, not Easy"

2010-09-26T06:39:00.001-06:00

I have had the great joy of returning to my sports roots for the past four months. It’s been a lot of fun. Each weekday afternoon from 3-6PM, along with Jimmy Doogan, I co-host sports talk radio on Mile High Sports, AM1510 and FM93.7. We call the show “Drive Time with Mac and Doog: Ain’t about us, it’s about YOU!”

We really try and focus on our listeners and give them a forum to express their opinion. Imagine, we’re all sitting around the bar talking sports, that’s the atmosphere we’re trying to create. Even when we have guests on the show we encourage our listeners to call in, with one caveat: considering our guests – players, coaches, analysts and others – are taking time from their busy schedules to join us, the least we, and our callers, can do when speaking with the guests is to, as we mention on the air, “Be nice and mind your manners.”

It’s a real basic request and everyone so far has honored the request, that’s pretty cool.

I wish to say I could take credit for thinking of this, but that wouldn’t be honest. I must give credit to my buddy Chester. My brother from another mother, we became good buddies during our college days at Mizzou and have stayed close ever since. At his family’s place in Crested Butte, Colorado, above the refrigerator is a sign that in large letters proclaims: “Be Nice and Mind Your Manners.”

I wonder if they have a sign like that in the halls of Congress? What about in our homes, workplaces, schools and elsewhere? Wouldn’t it be cool if, wherever we roam, it was emphasized to be “nice and mind your manners?”

I’m not saying we can’t have disagreement or discourse. I’m just saying can’t we exercise those important elements of society in a more civil manner than what seems to dominate these days. Do we really feel we must shout down another to be heard?

I think it all comes down to respect, for one another. We don’t have to always agree but my goodness, let’s debate our issues – home, work and elsewhere – in ways that honor, nurture and add value to self, others and the communities we serve, okay?

Be nice and mind our manners. It’s easy to say, and easy to affirm, far more difficult to execute, simple, not easy. A lot like life if you ask me.

This week's Pep Talk: "Supporting Aspirations"

2010-09-19T12:18:00.001-06:00

It was one of those Friday nights on Fillmore that I cherish: wandered down to my neighbor’s for our customary beer and chat; walked two blocks to a fabulous neighborhood Italian restaurant for dinner at the bar while watching, with other fans, another Colorado Rockies’ baseball victory; strolling home, getting online and connecting with others via Facebook.

That’s a blissful Friday evening in my book. The online conversation centered on a Daily Dose of encouragement I had posted earlier that day: “Live in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan mutters, “Oh hell, she/he is awake!”

The statement, I post one each weekday morning, drew many comments and led to some engaging banter. One participant really caught me eye, a young woman, the first to respond with an “I love it” after the posting. I discovered she’s interning, for three months, at a Denver restaurant and dreams of becoming a great chef like Jennifer Jasinski, owner of two popular Mile High City restaurants.

Brittany Gresh jokingly said in our conversation, “Someday I hope you post something about a dish I cooked.” I immediately responded with: “Let me know when you’re ready. It would be an honor to support your aspirations.” After sending that message, “It would be an honor to support your aspirations” I began to ponder the word “aspiration” and looked it up in the dictionary. It’s defined as: “a strong desire or ambition.”

What do you have a strong desire or ambition for these days? I recently hosted a young man Ross Guignon who is a rising star in American junior tennis. He’s gearing up for his senior year in high school, being recruited by top-notch collegiate programs and has a father who is one of my “brothers from another mother.” They stayed at my home while the southpaw played in a tournament at the nearby Gates Tennis Center.

Ross Guignon has a strong desire and ambition to play championship tennis, that’s his aspiration. What about you? What gets your motor running these days? Does your strong desire and ambition honor, nurture and add value to your life?

Brittany Gresh and Ross Guignon, two young kids chasing dreams. We all have dreams, aspirations and strong desires. And guess what? We all need support in the pursuit of those aspirations. There are times when it’s, as former University of Colorado football coach Bill McCartney would say, “tough sledding.”

It’s in those moments where each of us can help. Let’s never grow weary of encouraging – give hope and confidence to – one another. Supporting aspirations, a very good thing to do in the kitchen, on the court, at home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Angels Among Us"

2010-09-11T08:49:00.001-06:00

It was last weekend, Labor Day 2010 and I’m blessed to be in the mountains with darling girlfriend and my two precious children. I’m just observing them together and feeling very lucky.

For whatever reason my mind wanders to an earlier time, back to last year’s holiday season when driving across the country with Kyle and Rachel. The journey started in New York City where “K-Man” had attended NYU. He was moving to Los Angeles to continue his studies and work full-time in the entertainment industry. His younger sister and I had flown into New York, rented a big SUV, packed up Kyle’s belongings and started our trek west.

Through three time zones and nine states we drove. We’re only 100 miles from Denver, and a brief respite from our travels, when, what had been a flawless trip hit an unexpected bump in the road. We ran out of gas!

“Dad!” the kids wondered, “How in the world could you run out of gas?” I didn’t have a good answer. “The fuel gauge said we had about 30 miles left in the tank” was my lousy excuse. I surveyed the situation: the waning daylight of late afternoon; 10 miles from the closest service station. There was an interstate exit about a quarter mile down the road. “I’m gonna run up to that exit and see if I can find somebody to help.”

I’m jogging along the shoulder of the interstate. Big trucks are whooshing by when something inside says, “stick your thumb out for help.” Right then a man driving a pickup truck, towing a trailer loaded with freshly cut hay, pulls over. He rolled down the window in a friendly way. I explain my predicament to Wayne. He was quite amused.

“How can you run out of gas here?” the part-time farmer wonders. He then noted his brother-in-law owns an auto repair shop at the nearby exit. A minute later we’re there. He jumps out, disappears for maybe two minutes before reappearing carrying a three-gallon can of fuel.

Less than ten minutes later, my kids are startled to see their old man’s quick return. Wayne, who happens to also be a Colorado Department of Transportation employee, pours the petrol into our tank. We’re back on the road and heading for home.

Whenever giving a Pep Talk to a group, I try and encourage others to never growing wearing of doing good things for others. It’s that “one good deed leads to another” philosophy. What are the odds of, within seconds of running out of gas, someone stopped, had a nearby source of fuel and possessed the willingness to help?

Wayne, I never caught his last name, is an angel among us. We can be that type of person too. Look around, be aware and never miss any opportunity to help another because when you least expect it – or deserve it in my case - that goodwill will bounce back in ways you would never imagine possible.

"Honesty and Courage's Offspring"

2010-09-03T07:14:00.002-06:00

Last week I made you suffer through a weekly Pep Talk almost double the normal length. To compensate for my exuberant behavior, this encouraging short story will be brief.

I’m riding home with son, good buddy, the good buddy’s wife and daughter from a weekend in the mountains. I’m crammed between son and friend’s daughter in the sports sedan’s backseat. During a lull in the lively conversation, I’m reading more of David McCullough’s Pulitzer Prize winning book, Truman.

The author is talking about a letter our nation’s 33rd president, Harry S. Truman, while still an impressionable young man, received in 1894 from his mother. The words are not hers, but those of her idol, General Robert E. Lee, commanding general of the Confederate Army during our country’s Civil War: “You must be frank with the world; frankness is the child of honesty and courage. Say just what you mean to do on every occasion, and take it for granted you mean to do right. Never do anything wrong to make a friend or keep one. A person requiring you to do so is dearly purchased at a sacrifice. Deal kindly, but firmly with all your classmates; you will find it the policy that wears best. Above all, do not appear to others what you are not.”

Harry S. Truman’s mother was a smart woman to share this with her son. We could all learn from the advice given to our country’s future president, then 10-years-old. Let’s embrace these 87 words as our guiding light, this week and forever. Share them with others. More important than sharing the value of frankness – the child of honesty and courage – is living it.

Again, say what you mean, act with honor, never comprise goodness to keep or attract a friend, deal kindly but firmly with others and above anything else, be authentic.

Many things change in life; fads come and go but, frankly, embracing those five character traits should never go out of style in our quest to play like a champion – home, work and elsewhere.

New Pep Talk: "Parenting PEP Talk"

2010-08-22T14:56:00.001-06:00

It was a typical weekend morning. I’m at the gym grunting, sweating and watching television. A commercial, “Colorado Dads”, appears on the screen. This program has been around since 2006 and tries to strengthen father/child relationships and improve parenting.

The commercial, slowly but surely, unveiled three strategies for men to become better fathers and parents; the first was patience. Defined as: “an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay” what a wonderful attribute, not only in mentoring kids, but in leading others – home, work and elsewhere, right? But it’s not always easy to exercise patience when observing a child, employee or athlete continue to make repeated mistakes. It’s important to remember patience is a virtue.

The next tip suggested fathers be “proud” of their children. I must admit to struggling sometimes with telling my kids their old man is “proud of them.” Instead, choosing to verbalize, “I admire what you’ve done” thinking “proud”, defined as “highly gratifying to the feelings or self esteem” seems more self-centered than “admire”, defined as, “to regard with wonder, pleasure and approval.”

What’s the best way to show our kids we are proud of them? How about encouraging them, in healthy and productive ways, to continue to chase activities, dreams and goals leading to others’ pride or admiration? There is not a better word in the English language – personal opinion – than “encourage” defined as: “to give hope and confidence to.”

While the huffing and puffing continued, my eyes were glued to the television and my mind to the message, as the commercial implored others and me to exercise patience and be proud. I thought, “The second strategy should be encourage” and waited, in shortness of breath, for the third and final tip. Since the first two had begun with a “P”, I knew the third would also. My mind cried out, “Present” while the screen flashed “Protect.”

The half-minute guessing game about better parenting was a nice respite from the necessary, but monotonous, workout. I was challenged, when it comes to parenting, to exhibit “patience, pride and protection.” I’d like to adjust that to: “patience, encouragement and presence.” You have to be present to be protective, right?

The commercial came and went long before the workout was complete but I left the gym with a startling realization: each week I create a Pep Talk video/blog encouraging others to play like a champion – home, work and elsewhere. But this message is the ultimate encouraging short story, or Pep Talk: When it comes to parenting, P-atience, E-ncouragement and P-resence form the acronym PEP. They should also, always, form the foundation of our dedication to kids, 25% of our population, 100% of our future.

This week's Pep Talk: "Walk the Talk"

2010-08-14T08:33:00.000-06:00

Now that football season is upon us, I can remember a Sunday afternoon last December, the undefeated Indianapolis Colts were defeating the spirited Denver Broncos to win a NFL record-setting 22nd consecutive regular season game. I’m watching the game, reading the newspaper when I get hit between the eyeballs by a story in PARADE magazine.

Written by David Baldacci, it’s a “catching-up-with” piece about our nation’s 41st president George Bush and his wife and former first lady, Barbara. First, after 65 years of marriage, you can tell they still love one another – good for them.

Bush’s legacy as commander-in-chief includes the Persian Golf War. U.S forces booted Saddam Hussein’s Iraqi Army from Kuwait. Some wonder why America didn’t stay and eliminate Hussein. I love Bush’s response: “We didn’t stay and chase down Hussein because I had given the coalition my word that we’d kick him out of Kuwait and go home. And we did.”

Any time I have the honor of encouraging others with a Pep Talk, we talk about the importance of being a person of your word. There’s an acronym I love to use that encourages others – and me – to live our lives with PRIDE. It stands for being “punctual, respectful, imaginative, dependable and enthusiastic”.

Being a person of your word falls nicely into respectful and dependable. It sure makes relationships more trustful. When we state, “I’m gonna do this or that” and actually do it – when and how we proclaim – good for us.

Folks, that’s not rocket science. It’s a necessary foundation to a successful partnership whether we’re talking at home, work or community. If you tell someone you’re going to do something, bust your butt to meet your obligations in ways that honor you, nurture those dependent upon you and add value to the communities you serve.

I know it ain’t easy. We’re not perfect plus internal and external pressures will tempt us. Bush admits being tempted to “stay and get that bad guy.” But his word was his bond and America withdrew its troops.

Where might it be time to, despite internal and external pressures, stand firm in being a person of our word? Life seems so darn unpredictable these days: wars, the economy, the immigration debate and other controversial conditions dominate the headlines and effect our lives. It’s a bit crazy right now. Many important segments of life seem beyond our control.

One area we do control is our selves and the importance of accountability. Be a person of your word. Remember that saying, “A good name is better than great riches?” It’s the truth.

This week's Pep Talk: "Trust is Key"

2010-08-07T08:20:00.001-06:00

Are you a horse lover? I can remember childhood days in suburban Kansas City, Missouri. Our family, actually my older sister, had a Shetland pony, Tonka, which was kept at a stable not too far from our modest middle-class home. I can remember, many times, watching her stubbornly refuse to gallop away from the barn but, WHOA, once she turned in the corral and saw home, that little horse did its best Secretariat impression. However, right before the gate leading back to the barn, she would slam on the breaks and, often, throw her rider, usually an unsuspecting friend. I thought it was funny at the time but it also made me, still am today, a tad nervous around horses.

Those were the thoughts running through my head as I sat on a bale of hay, beer in hand and, as the emcee, listened to an expert in equine therapy, I had just introduced, speak at a fundraising event for Zuma’s Rescue Ranch, http://www.zumasrescueranch.com. It’s a fabulous nonprofit organization with a mission encouraging neglected kids and horses to heal each other.

Equine therapy is a growing platform to help abused kids overcome obstacles, learn better life skills and become students, not victims, of their experiences. For the kids, interacting, caring and feeding horses - intuitive animals that sense an abused kid’s fragile psyche – are excellent therapeutic tools in restoring hope for their futures.

One of the expert’s statements hit me with the force of a stallions’ kick: “Think about it. A kid’s trust in adults is shaken by abuse and then they’re asked to go visit another adult, a therapist, and talk about it. There are serious trust issues to overcome,” Phil Tedeschi shared. “Not so with horses. Through working with these incredibly intuitive animals kids can take the initial, and critical, steps toward trusting again.”

What he said was a vivid reminder of the important of trust, defined as: “a firm belief in the reliability of a person.” There is nothing more important to our success in life than being able to trust others and vice versa, being a person of trust. When trust departs a relationship its like a torpedo hitting the side of a ship, there’s a big hole and lots of damage. That’s why it’s so important to live a life that honors, nurtures and adds value to the communities we serve. Think of it as making big deposits in the trust bank

Make it your mission to be trustworthy. It’s not easy. Life tempts us to violate the trust of our intimate relationships – home, work and elsewhere. Do not surrender to the temptations. Trust that the fallout, from being untrustworthy, will be more painful, in a multitude of ways, than any kick received from the most rebellious horse you could find in any stable.

This week's Pep Talk: "It Ought to be Possible"

2010-08-01T07:46:00.001-06:00

In a 1999 survey of public address scholars, Martin Luther King’s infamous “I have a Dream” speech was ranked the top speech of the 20th century. It was, and remains, a stirring speech. In part for its use of what’s called anaphora, which is repeatedly using a phrase like “I have a dream” to introduce and connect related themes.

Less documented, two months before King’s 1963 message, was President John Kennedy’s call for change in America. In what has become known as Kennedy’s Civil Rights Address, our nation’s 35th president basically chewed America’s butt for its racial climate saying, “The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one are threatened.”

Only 44-years-old when taking office – youngest president in our nation’s history – Kennedy used anaphora often in his message. Repeatedly stating “it ought to be possible” to introduce and connect his thoughts about the importance of racial justice in our land.

Almost half a century later, I’d like to utilize anaphora to introduce and connect related things that I hope can help you play like a champion – home, work and elsewhere.

· It out to be possible that despite the unexpected and unwanted twists and turns life often throws our way, we can vow to become students, not victims of our experiences. The only thing constant in life is change, right? So would it also be true those who effectively deal with change are going to be successful? Learn and grow from experiences.

· It ought to be possible to realize when going through challenging times, we’re not alone. Many have health, relationship or financial challenges, reach out to other like-minded individuals and connect with them. We can draw encouragement, wisdom and strength from others on similar journeys.

· It ought to be possible that despite life’s unpredictability, if we become students, not victims and connect with others of like mind we can encourage one another to keep moving forward; to keep putting fear and self-doubt aside and allowing wonderment to win. Too often we allow the past to hijack our future. As Shakespeare once said, “Doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

· It ought to be possible to accomplish this terrific trio in ways that honor us, nurture those dependent upon us and add value to the communities we serve – home, work and elsewhere.

Simple, not easy, strategies for life; easy to state, to endorse, the challenge is LIVING in a way demonstrating belief in these four philosophies. It’s my hope and prayer within each of us – you and me – our souls emphatically say: “Thy will be done.”

This week's Pep Talk: "Learn from Losing"

2010-07-27T07:40:00.001-06:00

I recently read a fascinating book about legendary college football coach Eddie Robinson. Grambling University’s head coach for 57 years, the Louisiana native’s career paralleled the Jim Crow era of segregation in the Deep South and every major event of the Civil Rights Movement.

Grambling University, and other predominately black colleges, was loaded with outstanding black athletes until the late 1960’s and early 1970’s because the more powerful athletic conferences, like the Southeastern and Southwest, still insisted on forming all-white teams. Eddie Robinson, ever the gentleman, didn’t rail against the injustice, instead encouraging his players to work hard, make healthy choices and show love and respect for one another and country and believe justice would prevail. Many called him the “Martin Luther King of football.”

Author Denny Dressman tells many great stories. One in particular exemplifies how often in life, in defeat, we learn our greatest lessons, if we choose to learn from the experience.

The scene was Legion Field in Birmingham, Alabama in 1970. The University of Southern California was on the road for a season-opening tangle with Bear Bryant’s Crimson Tide, pride of the Southeastern Conference. Alabama had no black players on its roster. Southern California, under Coach John McKay an equal mix of talented white and black players, routed the ‘Tide 42-21. After the game Bryant met McKay at midfield and thanked the Trojans’ coach for the humiliating defeat. Bryant knew the stinging loss would be a watershed moment for Alabama football: the next year, running back Wilbur Jackson and other black players debuted, and starred, for the Crimson Tide. The point is this: Alabama’s embarrassing defeat, with an all-white team, opened the eyes of ‘Tide faithful who needed to be awakened to the necessity of social justice.

Quite often defeat is exactly what we need to chart a new course encouraging us to become superior to our former selves – home, work and elsewhere.

The racial integration of the Southeastern and Southwest Conferences hurt Robinson’s recruiting efforts at Grambling since black student/athletes had more options and were not limited to the predominately black colleges of the Deep South. But the Hall of Fame coach never complained. He realized Grambling’s defeat, in terms of recruiting, was a victory for social justice in America.

The ability to turn defeats into victories, home, work and elsewhere, in my opinion, the most important skill we can ever learn. You know life can be cruel. We get hit with devastating blows. If Coach Robinson was alive – he died in 2007 – he’d encourage you to pick yourself up, get back in the game and learn from your mistakes and probably holler at you: “If you’re learning, you can’t be losing.”

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "Jump Time?"

2010-07-19T06:29:00.000-06:00

I have recently returned to my sports roots and, daily, co-host two hours of sports talk radio. It’s fun chatting up co-host, Jimmy Doogan, guests and listeners about sports, which have been a huge part of my life.

Recently, Dave Krieger, outstanding columnist for the Denver Post, was a guest. We were talking about, at the time, the Colorado Rockies’ inability to deliver key hits late in baseball games. Krieger, when talking about the problem, suggested the modern-day player’s ability to watch videotape of their swings might be hampering them a bit. “They go back into the clubhouse and watch swings where they crushed the ball and want to emulate that swing when the situation dictates a different approach.”

In other words, when making contact and putting the ball in play might be very beneficial to the team, players are locked into a “homerun” swing. Because of this mentality, too often, players have been striking out when, in baseball terms, “situational hitting” would serve the team better.

Listening to Krieger expound on his theory, my mind wandered to a message I share often about the necessity, usually more often than we like, of becoming superior to our former selves – home, work and elsewhere.

For the Rockies the challenge is smarter hitting. For us it might be more intelligence at work, relationships, parenting or losing weight – to name just a few. Recognition of the problem is certainly the first step, but then comes the tough part: having the desire, and determination, to truly transform. Sounds simple, but we all know, it ain’t easy.

There’s a well-known saying that goes: “There’s nothing noble in being superior to somebody else; true nobility lies in becoming superior to our former selves.” I read it a few years ago at the bottom of my gym monthly bill. Then it was meant to encourage members to get in better shape. Right now, it’s meant to challenge each of us to take inventory: Where in our lives is it REALLY time to put the excuses aside and change – become superior to our former selves?

Change is tough, you will often feel like quitting, don’t. Connect with like-minded folks, facing similar challenges, and encourage – give hope and confidence to – one another.

Whenever blessed to have a chance to encourage others to play like champions in the game of life, I always challenge them to “put fear aside and allow wonderment to win.” It’s true for the Rockies and their hitting woes and it’s true for whatever ails us: to become superior to our former selves requires us to leap into the great unknown of possibility. It’s jump time, are you ready?

This week's Pep Talk: "Matters of the Heart"

2010-07-12T06:37:00.001-06:00

Do you have a “bucket list” of things to accomplish? Whether expressed publicly, written and stuffed away or secure in our heart, I think most have a list. It might be big: becoming president, curing cancer or advancing world peace. It might be personal: having a child, running a marathon or visiting a foreign country.

One thing vanished from my list recently after recording my first hole-in-one. On a par-3, 165-yard hole, a properly struck seven-iron ended up in the cup. The guys in our threesome wondered, “Who are you going to call and brag about the great shot?”

I honestly could think of nobody who would give a hoot that Mac finally – I’ve been close a few times – recorded an ace. Well, there is one, but his cell phone is out of range. My father, he passed three years ago from cancer.

After celebrating with pictures and high fives, we headed toward the next tee, thoughts more on my old man than what had just transpired. We, along with my younger brother, loved to play golf together. It struck me, far more dramatically than the shot, at the top of my bucket list would be spending more time with those I love and cherish.

That was the mindset a few days later when I ventured to Crested Butte, Colorado to spend Father’s Day with two buddies. Yea, that’s right, we spent Father’s Day, not with our families, but with each other. “What does this say about us that on Father’s Day weekend, we’re here while our families are elsewhere?” I asked buddies Pete Guignon and Dan Lauer. Almost in unison the Kansas City natives responded, “It means we’re good dads who, 51 other weekends out of the year, are dedicated to our families. They’re saying go have some well-earned fun.”

It sounded good to me, mainly, because it’s the truth. We had a blast hiking, four-wheeling and hanging out, being guys. In the rare moments when the conversation turned philosophical, we talked about encouraging one another to embrace a common bond: return to our respective worlds and continue the life-long mission of being responsible fathers dedicated to honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve – home, work and elsewhere. And yes, having some fun along the way.

We know if we do that, next Father’s Day, we’ll have earned another weekend away. To consistently honor, nurture and add value, a bucket list item far more important than a hole-in-one. Wherever my old man is right now, he’d agree to that. I hope you feel likewise. Whatever’s on your bucket list, make sure at the top is taking care of business where it matters most, matters of the heart.

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "PRIDE vs. PITA"

2010-07-06T06:07:00.001-06:00

I was on the phone with a dear friend, and during the course of the conversation, she got around to speaking of her children. One of her daughters had a situation at school that was challenging. “Boy,” she groaned, “There’s an administrator at my daughter’s school who is really acting like a pita.”

A perplexed look came across my face as I asked, “What the heck is a pita?” She went on to explain that “pita” is an acronym for “pain in the ass.” I had never heard that before and got a pretty good chuckle out of that one.

But after hanging up the phone, I could not get “pita” out of my mind. How exactly would we define someone who is acting like a “pain in the ass?” What types of behavior are usually associated with being a pita? A few came immediately to mind: someone who is chronically late; does not deliver as promised; permeates negativity instead of optimism. Tardy, unreliable and grumpy, do you think those three unflattering traits would qualify you, and me, for entrance into the Pita Club?

But let’s turn the question around. If being consistently tardy, unreliable and grumpy would qualify us for the Pita Club, what might be some good character traits that would keep us from ever being considered for membership?

Five come to mind. Here they are. Let’s all work hard this week to be members of the PRIDE club. Yea, let’s be committed being: punctual, respectful, imaginative, dependable and enthusiastic. We have prides of lions, why not a pride of people, in our thoughts, words and actions, determined to remain members, in good standing, of the PRIDE Club. We would view the PITA Club as a rival along the lines of Republicans vs. Democrats, Red Sox vs. Yankees or Saks vs. Neiman’s – you’re either one or the other, there’s no in between?

Admittedly, it’s not easy to remain in good standing within the PRIDE Club. Life, with it’s unwanted and unexpected twists and turns, can get very annoying at times – but we don’t have to. When the going gets tough and it’s tempting to transform into a pain in the ass, instead focus on being punctual, respectful, imaginative, dependable and enthusiastic.

Australian cartoonist Michael Leunig once said, “Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple – and difficult – as that.” He is so right. It’s tough to be devoted to PRIDE and not PITA but like anything else worthwhile in life, certainly worth the effort.

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "Bang Your Drum"

2010-06-28T06:49:00.001-06:00

It was a cool and blustery first day of May, a Saturday, as I exited the gym. Workout behind me and short walk - nearby service station for car after oil change - in front of me, the moment was interrupted by my cell phone ringing.

It was a wonderful interruption. As I walked, a friend described in great detail what I encourage others to remember in each Pep Talk musing or message: “the more we give, the more we receive.”

I have known Lisa Girard for many years. We worked together in the television industry and she has done much work on my website. The Texas native is a wonderful woman, wife, mother, and possesses one of the world’s greatest smiles.

She’s also a musician and one of the board members of the Mile High Community Band. For more than 65 years, this non-profit organization has been making music and making a difference in the Denver community. It accomplishes that mission through providing rewarding music education and performance opportunities for youth and adults. It’s a great place for kids, who because of budget issues might not have access to band programs at school, to learn about music.

On July 10th of this year, the group will hold its first Colorado Community Band Festival. Nine bands will perform while families enjoy games, face painting, balloon making and other fun activities characteristic of summer festivals. “We are getting great support from the west Denver community,” the charismatic lady proudly proclaimed. “The Edgewater – a small municipality wedged between Denver and its western neighbor Lakewood – City Council has even informed us that our efforts to rally the community has inspired it to bring back Edgewater Days next year.”

This story is the latest example, we see them daily, of a truth too often ignored: the decision to put fear aside – “nobody will care” – and allow wonderment to win – “it’s a good idea” – will often create a ripple effect far beyond what imagination might have envisioned.

But allowing wonderment to win against fear takes courage! Where might that apply to your life right now? To recap: A bunch of music and civic-minded folks act on an idea, reach out to serve in ways that honor, nurture and add value and, in return, a community is encouraged – given hope and confidence - to restore a proud remnant of its past. How cool is that?

Never underestimate the power within you to make a difference. Never forget that, okay? And never forget to courageously bang your creative drum because when you least expect it, that resonance will vibrate within others too. The harmony created, within a band, home, work or elsewhere, will be music to the ears, and souls, of many.

This week's Pep Talk: Perseverance and Principle

2010-06-21T06:15:00.000-06:00

It was a Saturday morning, a buddy who takes care of my lawn sprinklers and yard lights is making a few minor adjustments to each, I’m chatting with him while picking weeds when the conversation turns to John Wooden. The legendary basketball coach, who won ten national titles with UCLA, had died the day before. “Do you realize Wooden did not win his first national title at UCLA until his 16th season?” my buddy suggested.

I paused with the pulling and pondered that fact. “Really?” was my surprising response. I instantly thought of perseverance, defined as: “to continue steadfastly, especially in something that is difficult or tedious.”

We often get frustrated don’t we, when things don’t happen as quickly as we would like? Wooden in 29 years as a basketball coach never had a losing season, but it took him 16 years at UCLA to take the Bruins to a national title. There’s a good lesson in that for each of us. If we are engaged in work that we love, but the expected success has been elusive, persevere – continue steadfastly – toward the goal! Victory might be right around the corner with the next sale, the next book, the next relationship, the next job, the next exercise routine. Persevere.

John Wooden was known for many things: discipline, wisdom, graciousness, humility to name a few. Perseverance should also be on that list. It should be on ours too.

Another descriptive word that defines Wooden is principled. In reading the various accounts of his life, a story from his coaching days at Indiana State – his job before UCLA – really stands out. It was 1947, the school, then called Indiana Teachers College, had been invited to a prestigious post-season tournament. But there was a caveat. The tournament organizers said Wooden’s team was welcome, except for its lone black player. Wooden told the tournament that was unacceptable and Indiana Teachers College stayed home in support of its teammate. Principle won over prestige. There’s another good lesson that would serve each of us well – choose principle - a personal code of right conduct - over prestige.

In all my years of athletics, sportscasting and admiration for coach Wooden I was not aware of these examples of this wonderful man’s perseverance and principle.

Respectfully known as the “Wizard of Westwood”, the coach is universally regarded as the greatest collegiate basketball coach of all time. But you know what? The qualities and characteristics that provided the foundation to his success are present, and available, for each of us!

We might not be able to coach basketball worth a darn but we can decide that embracing perseverance and principle can help us play like champions in the game of life - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "Terrific Trio"

2010-06-14T06:31:00.001-06:00

We all have our stories, don’t we? Few, if any of us, have been blessed by life unfolding exactly as planned. The journey takes unexpected detours leaving us wondering, “What the heck is going on here?

I believe the most important aspect for success in life is effectively dealing with adversity. In my opinion, there’s nothing more important than becoming a student, not victim, of our experiences.

Bethany Bullard just graduated from high school in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. Bethany has Down Syndrome, a congenital disorder caused by having an extra 21st chromosome that usually results in a flat face, short stature and mental retardation. . But long ago, with great help from her family, Bethany made the decision to put fear aside about what her challenges might be and allow wonderment to win about what her life could be.

I grew up with Bethany’s parents. Her old man and I used to zoom around Raytown, Missouri in his fast-driving Camaro. We would always drive really fast past her mother’s house after football practice. Vicki and Dennis Bullard are incredibly responsible, loving and successful people, always have been, always will be.

Recently Bethany’s proud father emailed pictures of her high-school graduation. As I sat there looking at the joyful scene, it reminded me of the power, when we allow it, of the human spirit to overcome obstacles.

Life can often be cruel with what it throws our way: maladies, divorce, death, financial ruin and job loss to name a handful. What has always fascinated me is how differently people react to life’s nasty curves. Challenging moments seem to inspire some to great success while driving some to great despair. What separates the two?

A few things come to mind, starting with the before mentioned importance of being a student, not victim. Then I would suggest it’s important to realize, regardless of what ails us, we’re not alone. Reach out to others in similar situations. We can find strength from one another. Third, despite what ails us, never give up on yourself. Put fear aside and allow wonderment to win.

Bethany and her family did a great job of embracing the three. They became experts on the disease, connected with others in the same boat and kept chasing dreams. Down Syndrome is not derailing Bethany Bullard’s march through life.

We all have our challenges. Don’t allow what ails you to derail your march! Be a student, not victim, reach out to others of like mind and put fear aside and allow wonderment to win. The terrific trio guided Bethany to a high school diploma. It can blaze a trail to whatever you desire too.

Pep Talk Blog: "Thanks, Art"

2010-06-07T06:59:00.001-06:00

I read with mixed emotions the recent death, at 97, of entertainment legend Art Linkletter. The radio and television pioneer was amazing for his ability to get kids to say the darndest things on the popular television program House Party that ran for almost 20 years. He also, in later life after a daughter’s suicide, became an anti-drug crusader, popular motivational speaker and in his final years, a champion for the aged.

I had the honor of being the master of ceremony at an event where the Canadian, abandoned at birth and adopted by parents who brought him to California at an early age, spoke about life. We sat next to each other, and before he amused and inspired the audience, we got to know each other. A picture of us sits on my desk. I look at it daily as a reminder to live life to its fullest.

That one evening, that one personal encounter with Linkletter was a powerful moment for me. He became – he didn’t know this – a mentor in planting a seed within me to embrace a good recipe for living a healthy and productive life. I recall there were four things the author of more than 20 books believed led to aging well: exercise consistently, eat sensibly, laugh abundantly and love unconditionally.

Another thing I remember from that evening: Art gave me grief about my book title, Kids Teach the Darndest Things saying it was too close to his legendary, Kids Say the Darndest Things.” He laughed when I countered, “Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.”

I was sad to hear of Linkletter’s death because he fell short of his goal. I know from our conversation that he wanted to live to be at least 100 years old. He also wanted to continue to travel the world speaking and encouraging – to give hope and confidence to - others to live life with zeal and enthusiasm.

And while Linkletter did not reach the goal of living a century he sure tried in ways that honored him, nurtured those dependent upon him and added value to the communities he served. His life can be a great reminder for us: have goals that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve, pursue them enthusiastically and focus on the input, not the outcome – the joy is in the journey.

The journey is complete for Art Linkletter. It continues for each of us. How should we embrace this crazy thing called life? Let’s take a cue from Art, who was once asked when he was going to retire. “Retire?” he said in 1988 while skiing in Vail. “If you retire, you can’t ever take a day off.”

Let’s never, or perhaps rarely, take a day off from exercising daily, eating sensibly, laughing abundantly and loving unconditionally, okay? Thanks, Art.

"Till the Soil"

2010-05-30T07:26:00.000-06:00

It was a typical Friday evening in our Congress Park neighborhood on Denver’s near east side: I’m hanging with the neighbors, having some beers, visiting about the week and having dinner. This evening take-out Chinese was being consumed in hearty amounts – that happens when you have teenagers and invite McIntosh to dinner.

Anyway, after devouring the various delicacies we turned our attention to dessert, fortune cookies. The neighbor’s daughter, a high-school sophomore cracked open a cookie and read some wise words written on a thin strip of paper: “Life does not improve by chance. It improves by change.”

Ah, that was music to my ears and made me think of William Bridges. A former professor of English, the California-based consultant and lecturer is one of the world’s foremost experts on change and transition. His second book, The Way of Transition is one of my favorites and was tremendously helpful in the aftermath of my second painful divorce about ten years ago.

In the book Bridges discusses his own painful experience following his beloved wife’s death from cancer. He was really struggling with her departure and was also beating himself up emotionally because he was the “change guy” but he wasn’t dealing with this change very well.

With these issues as the emotional backdrop, Bridges after speaking on the East Coast was flying back to California. It was a beautiful and clear day across America and from his window seat the Ivy-League educated change expert was glancing down on America and pondering his future. He began to notice our country’s great rivers: The Ohio, Mississippi and Missouri and how each twists and turns on its journey toward its ultimate destination. But something else warmed his marrow. Where these rivers twist and turn is where rich sediment is dropped and a large portion of our nation’s food supply is produced. In other words, the twists and turns along the river’s journey and the sediment dropped provide a fertile spot for growth!

The irony shook him more violently than unexpected turbulence. Could it be that life is often that way? That the unexpected twists and turns, while painful, ultimately can produce rich soil for us to grow into something superior to our former selves?

It takes us back to the fortune cookie: “life does not improve by chance. It improves by change.” But here’s the important point. Life will not improve by change unless we keep a healthy attitude toward it and commit to being a student, not a victim, of our experiences. We all have our stories, right? Has anybody’s life gone exactly the way you planned? I would suspect the answer to that question is, “of course not.”

Life might be taking you on some crazy twists and turns right now. The question becomes how will you handle it? Don’t forget to till the soil of change. Within it might be all the nutrients necessary for explosive and fruitful growth at home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Curious, not Callous"

2010-05-25T08:17:00.001-06:00

I was sitting with a potential business partner and the conversation turned to how he had met his darling wife. “It’s interesting,” laughed the Texas native. “It was at a social function I didn’t want to attend but decided at the last minute to go. It was the same for her. We’re lucky considering we’ve been together ever since.”

That response brought a broad smile to my face and took me back to one of my favorite stories in my first book, Kids Teach the Darndest Things. It also reminded me of the importance, for all of us, to try our best to keep a curious, not callous, attitude toward life.

Several years ago on a late December Sunday afternoon, just after Christmas, my darling daughter approached and suggested it would be a great day to go shopping. She was armed and dangerous with many gift cards in celebration of Christmas and her fast approaching eighth birthday. But it was a Sunday, and that meant NFL football and a big game for the hometown Broncos. “Rachie,” I sternly announced. “Today is not a good day.” She looked at me with those beautiful eyes and said. “So.” Off we went to the Cherry Creek Shopping Center.

We hit all the stores: Claires, Children’s Palace, The Gap and many others. Finally, after about an hour and a half, I thought we were done. But no! Rachie informed me we had one final stop: Limited Too. I know it’s been said, “patience is a virtue” but man, guys have trouble with this when it comes to shopping!

Rachel patiently walked around the store, sifting through many items while her old man, frazzled, sought relief in a big comfy chair smack dab in the middle of the store – made for Dads I would suspect. I was throwing a little pity party for myself about the drudgery of shopping, thinking, “how do girls do this?” About ten minutes later, I hear sweet music for my ears. “Okay Daddy, I found something, let’s go.”

We walk to the back of the store toward the checkout stand. I muttering, “I’m missing the Broncos game for this?” when things changed dramatically. The sales clerk is folding the shirt Rachie purchased. Across the front, in big and bold letters it proclaims, “Daddy’s Little Girl.”

I would have missed that wonderful and loving moment had I gotten my way and been at home on the couch watching the Broncos. The gentleman I was visiting with would have not met his wife had he decided not to attend the social function. The point is this: Keep a curious, not callous, attitude toward life – home, work and elsewhere.

The next time you sense you’re slipping into that unproductive pattern of being unenthusiastic about things, remember, when you least expect it, wonderful surprises will jump up and smack you right in the face when you embrace a curious, not callous, attitude toward life.

This week's Pep Talk: "The Plumber"

2010-05-17T05:37:00.001-06:00

I was sitting in the audience at the Denver Business Journal’s 2010 “Partners in Philanthropy” event and listening to the keynote speaker. The man, a well-recognized and respected leader in the nonprofit world, was encouraging the gathered to embrace a stronger bond between the business and non-profit worlds.

The speaker, Jeff Pryor, concluded his excellent remarks with a powerful story about a woman on Colorado’s Western Slope facing difficult times: she had lost her home and child-welfare authorities were threatening to take her four children. The single mom and the kids had moved into a ramshackle apartment, trying desperately to makes ends meet. The apartment’s hot water heater didn’t work and there was no washing machine. Too often the kids went to school in dirty clothes and authorities were concerned for their welfare.

Well, an incredibly generous woman of that Western Slope community spoke to the mother and learned of her plight: no job, little money and even less hope. The incredibly generous woman called a friend – a plumber – and told him of the woman’s challenges. She also offered to pay for the plumber to fix the hot water heater and install a washing machine in the woman’s apartment.

It was the beginning of transformation. A few months later, the desperate woman reported back that she had been able to keep her kids, had begun classes in learning to become a cosmetologist and had a positive vision, despite the challenges of raising four kids on her own, of the family’s future.

Jeff Pryor learned of this story from the incredibly generous woman and congratulated her for hiring the plumber and paying for the hot water heater repair and the washing machine, “Wow, you really did something amazing for that woman.”

Here’s where it gets really good folks. The generous woman responded, “No Jeff, I did something amazing for the plumber.” Perplexed, Jeff wondered, “What are you talking about?” The lady’s response was awesome, she said: “I gave that plumber a chance to realize the talents and skills he possessed could have a profound impact on another’s life.”

Ain’t that the truth. Each of us has within, unique and valuable talents that can be of tremendous value to others – at home, work and elsewhere. Where might it be time share those talents in ways that honor you, nurture those dependent upon you and add value to the communities you serve? It might be serving on a non-profit board, volunteering to coach a youth athletic team or truly following your heart and pursuing a career path allowing you to really express unique talents that can be a great value to others.

Never underestimate the impact those talents, when utilized in healthy and productive ways, can have on another person’s life – and in return, yours. We are here to help each other and nobody benefits more than us.

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "In Whack"

2010-05-12T06:35:00.001-06:00

It was a chilly and damp Mile High City Saturday spring day. I’m waiting to fetch teenage daughter from volleyball practice, watching NBA playoff action with my neighbor buddy and listening to the Pueblo native spout this pearl of wisdom: “You hear people talk a lot about being ‘out of whack’ but then that must mean there is an ‘in whack.’ What does that look like?”

I thought it was a darn good question and attempted to answer it. For whatever reason, the six inches of gray matter between my ears focused on a guy I greatly admire – Luther Gulick. 100 years ago, he founded Camp Fire USA, then known as Camp Fire Girls. I admire this organization and proudly served it for three years.

When creating the nation’s oldest non-sectarian youth development organization, Gulick wanted to give young women the opportunity to learn skills that would benefit them outside the home and encourage a value in physical fitness. Now remember, this was the early 1900’s and few saw the value in young girls learning anything but homemaking skills. The Hawaiian-born visionary was thinking way outside the box for his time.

But back to the original statement from my beer-drinking buddy that sparked this Pep Talk. If “out of whack” means times are tough, what does “in whack” look like? Gulick, in creating Camp Fire USA, encouraged girls and young woman, as they learned skills and practiced fitness, to also realize there are three fundamental beliefs that could help them, as I like to say in each and every Pep Talk, “play like a champion in the game of life – home, work and elsewhere.”

Here they are: Gulick, who also played a huge role in the birth of basketball in the late 1800’s, encouraged kids to work hard, make healthy choices and show a little love and respect for self and others. Just my opinion, but seems like a good definition of “in whack.” It’s been Camp Fire’s motto from day one and continues today.

If you happen to feel a bit “out of whack” right now, how about adopting the three fundamental beliefs Gulick encouraged others to embrace? What would “in whack” look like for you right now? Sticking to the diet, exercising more, drinking or smoking less, working smarter or committing better? What would it look like?

Some ideas, philosophies, beliefs – call ‘em what you want – stand the test of time. Camp Fire USA’s “work hard, make healthy choices and show respect” are certainly three as relevant today – perhaps more – than a century ago.

I know “in whack” is not easy. When the challenge seems overwhelming remember this: “Resolve must be firmer, spirit bolder and courage greater when strength grows less.”

New Pep Talk Blog: "Our Influence"

2010-05-03T10:19:00.001-06:00

I was driving to work recently when my cell phone rang. “Hey Marko,” announced my stepmother Jo, “Happy birthday.” I was celebrating 52 years on this planet and appreciated her remembering. Our conversation, as it usually does, turned to my late father, her husband of almost 30 years.

What triggered the conversation was my question about Jo’s health, “fine” and what she had been up to, “staying busy.” Then the wonderful woman who had to deal with the McIntosh’s for three decades stated: “You know your father. If he thought for one minute I was down here bummed out he’s gone and not living life to the fullest, he’d be pissed.”

She was right about that. My father, despite a life with more than its share of lemons, always seemed determined to turn those lemons – the heck with lemonade- into sweet and savory margaritas. Actually for him, it would have been a beer or smooth scotch, but you understand what I’m saying.

She then told me a story that inspired this Pep Talk. “Mark, I was visiting with the neighbors recently. The husband was cleaning his golf clubs and mentioned he missed playing golf with your Dad.” I do too. My old man was a fun golf partner, lucky too and a good scramble partner.

Jo continued the story: “John joked that your father’s golfing buddies got together to play but the weather was lousy. Many wanted to sit in the warmth of the clubhouse, play cards and forget about golf.” I knew where this story was going as she proudly boasted, “But one of the guys said, ‘Hey, I know if Mac were here he’d say, I didn’t drive all this way to sit in the clubhouse. Let’s go play.’ That’s what they did.

My stepmother relating this story brought a broad smile to my face and warmed the marrow of my bones with the following truth. We can choose to keep one another’s spirit alive. I had just heard two wonderful examples of that truth. My father passed three years ago this month from lung cancer. But his spirit – my stepmother’s passion for life and golfing buddies braving the elements – is alive and well. It influences me daily too.

Please, never underestimate your influence on others. Through our thoughts, words and actions, good and bad, our spirit affects everyone we encounter – home, work and elsewhere.

This week make sure your spirit honors you, nurtures those dependent upon you and adds value to the communities you serve. I promise, it will have a lasting and positive impact on others, make life fulfilling and probably guarantee a darn good tee time on the other side, maybe in the same group with my old man.

This week's Pep Talk Blog: "Serendipity at Starbucks"

2010-04-26T10:27:00.001-06:00

One chilly Kansas City winter morning, the kind most Midwesterners grow accustomed to suffering through year after year, I awakened in my hotel room about four hours before presenting a Pep Talk. I had time to kill and assessed the situation: Darling girlfriend sleeping soundly next to me would not want to be disturbed and the hotel had no gym. I would have to seek activity elsewhere.

I remember there was a Starbucks about three blocks from the hotel and decided to head there for a cup of chai, bite of food and wonderment. I glanced out the window and recognized, so I thought, a typical Midwest winter morning: cloudy and gray. So I threw on a sweatshirt and headed out the door with instructions from darling girlfriend, “Bring me a coffee and pastry.” While walking through the hotel lobby, I noticed the doorman looking at me in an odd way. Finally, he says, “Where ya going dressed like that?”

After I quickly explained my destination and offered to bring the young man a cup of coffee, he joked. “That sounds good, but you don’t have enough clothes on!” Well, I begged to differ: “Ah, don’t worry about me, I’m an athlete; three blocks is nothing.” I exited the hotel. Instantly the wind hit me like a Mack truck—cold, cold, horribly cold. The wind chill factor – about 25 below - wasn’t part of my plan, but I felt I could handle it and sprinted to the coffee shop.

The warmth of the establishment soothed my aching lungs yet I knew there was no way my “short” return trip would include another run. I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely being one of them, but even I realized it was impossible to sprint, carrying hot drinks through the frigid conditions. I had no idea what to do, then a brilliant idea hit me: I reached to pull my cell phone from my sweatpants fully prepared to call a cab for the three-block walk. Call a cab to traverse three blocks? How insane. But on this bitterly cold day, there was no other option. I dug for the phone but it was not there. It was recharging back in the room.

I looked around the coffee shop. The handful of people in the place didn’t appear remotely interested in my dilemma. NONE of them gave me a second look. Why would they? No one knew me. Then out of the blue, somebody tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me, are you Mark McIntosh?” Surprised I stammered, “Yep, that’s me,” I counter. “Do we know one another?”

Robert Thompson proceeded to refresh my memory about our paths crossing a few years earlier when he and some other University of Colorado Buffaloes’ fans had ventured to Pasadena, California to watch the Buffs and UCLA Bruins play at the Rose Bowl. Apparently, we had bumped into each other outside the huge stadium, and I wound up giving him a press pass that allowed him and his friends to watch the game from the press box. “What are you doing here,” I ask.

“I just stopped in here to get a cup of coffee before meeting my girlfriend for breakfast,” the financial advisor said. “I never got to thank you that day. It was great watching the game from the press box,” Robert proudly proclaimed. “So, thanks.” I saw opportunity knocking. “Robert, do you want to show me how grateful you are? Give me a ride back to my hotel!” Call it good luck, serendipity, law of circulation—whatever you like. All I know is Robert came to my rescue.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the legendary philosopher of the 1800’s, said it pretty well: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life. No man or women can sincerely try to help another, without helping themselves. Serve and thou shall be served.”

That brief encounter with Robert substantiates Emerson’s philosophy and my encouragement to you: whenever you have a chance to reach out and help someone, act on it! This unlikely encounter at Starbucks is sufficient evidence, when you least expect it, “what goes around, comes around.” Who knows when such a situation may arise again? No one. But trust me, it will.

This week's Pep Talk: "Good Will"

2010-04-19T06:57:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have those moments when something happens that really validates your belief system? It inspires you to exclaim, to anybody that will listen, “That’s what I’m talking about!”

I did recently while attending Goodwill Industries of Denver’s annual Power of Work luncheon. It was an amazing experience that showcased the power of the human spirit to discover the good in life despite difficult physical, emotional and financial obstacles.

Whenever having the privilege of leading a Pep Talk discussion with a group, four life strategies, I like to call them the “Faithful Foursome”, are offered for discussion. They center on the importance of:

· Being a student, not victim, of our experiences
· Never growing weary of doing good things for others
· Putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win
· Honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve – home, work and elsewhere.

These four philosophies are, in my opinion, the foundational cornerstones to success. If we have those pillars drilled deep into our souls, I believe we have a good shot of dealing with whatever lemons life throws our way and transforming them – the heck with lemonade – into sweet and savory margaritas.

At this heartwarming luncheon those fourth truths came alive in the stories of the award winners. Charles Hensley is a great example. As a child, doctors removed a tumor from his brain. It saved Charles life but left him with physical and mental challenges. He became a “student, not victim, of experience” and today is a superstar employee at one of Goodwill’s retail shops.

And then there’s a wife and husband who certainly live “never growing weary of doing good for others” through their company, Environmental Safety. Partnering with Goodwill, ESI hires many former offenders who have paid their debt to society yet struggle to find gainful employment because of their past record.

“Putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win” describes Ariana Kasper and Jacob Grein. Each has overcome great physical and emotional barriers to lead healthy and prosperous lives despite overwhelming physical, mental and emotional adversities.

Finally, there is Goodwill, the organization and its mission. It certainly demonstrates the truth, and power, of “honoring, nurturing and adding value to the communities we serve” through helping more than 30,000 struggling adults and high school youth create a new chapter in their lives.

Right in front of me the faithful foursome was alive and well: Hensley, a student not victim; the Ford’s never growing weary; Kasper and Grein putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win; Goodwill honoring, nurturing and adding value.

This week, how about you and I embracing the value of the faithful foursome, in our thoughts, words and actions? I promise, it will be good for us and promote good will for others.

This week's Pep Talk: "No Substitute"

2010-04-13T13:24:00.001-06:00

As the father of a teenager and young adult, I find myself praying often that a wonderful young man and his younger sister will always have dreams and have the courage to chase those dreams. I also hope they understand sometimes those dreams don’t unfold exactly the way it was envisioned when the dream became crystal clear and they set forth in transforming the dream – the voice within – into reality via actions, thoughts and beliefs.

Each of them is in the midst of chasing dreams. It’s very cool to watch them unfold. Kyle, after three semesters as a film student at New York University, has moved back to California and is working full time at a major talent agency in Hollywood and continuing his studies at night; younger sister Rachel, having just turned 13, is working her butt off in improving her volleyball skills while maintaining an incredibly hectic schedule and very good grades in school.

As I marvel and admire their willingness to devote themselves so passionately to success in their endeavors, it reminds me of something I learned long ago. It was a daily reminder each and every day as I slipped into football, basketball or baseball practice gear at Raytown South High School. The reminder came from a huge sign hung from our locker room wall. A blessing for me, it was in my direct line of sight and proclaimed: “There is no substitute for hard work.”

There are some fundamentals regarding success that stand the test of time. Each generation reveals new fads and fashions but there are a few things that never go out of style. One is, there is no substitute for hard work.

Whenever I have the privilege of leading a Pep Talk discussion, we talk about the importance of “putting fear and self doubt aside and allowing wonderment to win.” I think that’s a real key in believing “there’s no substitute for hard work.” Regardless of the endeavor, if fear overpowers wonderment, why in the world would we put forth the effort to reach for dreams and goals?

The wonderment surrounding reaching a goal and becoming superior to our former selves must rule over the fear and self-doubt of falling short. It’s simple to grasp this philosophy but not easy to accomplish.

This week, put fear and self-doubt aside! It might be losing weight, quitting smoking, remaining faithful in your marriage, returning to school, changing jobs, volunteering in your community – it doesn’t matter. What does matter is you accept, realize and embrace the challenge. I encourage you to take a cue from two wonderful kids – there is no substitute for hard work and it starts with the tough task of allowing wonderment to defeat fear.

This week's Pep Talk: "Progress from Pain"

2010-04-05T06:17:00.001-06:00

I would suspect most have heard the old adage “adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.” It’s easy to say, easy to affirm, but let’s be honest, much more difficult – when the storms of life come along – to live it, right? But people do it. Somehow, someway they find the guts to, as I like to say whenever giving a Pep Talk: “Refuse to become a victim of circumstance, instead choose to become a student of experience.”

That is certainly Thelissa Zollinger’s story. Gary, her darling and devoted husband died way too young from a rare form of lung cancer. An active and fit husband, father and grandpa, the energy executive developed a violent hacking cough in his 56th year. Doctors first thought it might be an asthmatic condition. Sadly, it was cancer. By the time of diagnosis, it was already stage four. That’s a sad and familiar story for too many lung cancer patients – the diagnosis comes too late.

Gary fought a brave fight. After conventional treatments proved ineffective, the non-smoker underwent a radical double-lung transplant. The surgery was successful but tragically, ten months later, severe back pain had Gary back in the doctor’s office. The news was not good. Cancer had returned to his spine. Gary Zollinger died six months later.

Married 30 years, the couple made Gary’s final days quite productive. The Zollinger’s started an endowment to fund research to develop an early-detection test. According to the Lung Cancer Alliance, funding dollars for lung cancer research are 1/20th of those for breast cancer despite the fact, each year, three times as many people die in Colorado from lung cancer than breast cancer.

I sat across a conference table from Thelissa and marveled at her passion and determination to raise money and awareness. She achieves each with an annual “The Gift of Life and Breath” 5K walk and run. This year, it’s May 15. Join us, will ya? You can find more info at www.thegiftoflifeandbreath.com. I’m in to honor my father. He died of lung cancer in 2007. When doctors discovered his tumor, it was stage four too, and too late.

Lung cancer took my father and Thelissa’s husband too early. I know you have similar stories. Who hasn’t been touched by cancer’s devastating effects? Today, although it’s early in development, there is hope. Thanks to Thelissa’s crusade, research is focusing on biomarkers as a possible means to catch lung cancer before it’s too late.

Progress has emerged from Thelissa’s pain. Somewhere from above, you know her hubby’s looking down and shouting “you go girl!” This amazing woman has chosen to become a student, not victim, of her experience. Progress from pain, a lesson we should all take to heart.

This week's Pep Talk: "Keep Spirit Alive"

2010-03-29T12:12:00.001-06:00

In cities across America in late February, thousands decided to spend their Sunday morning a little differently. Instead of lying in bed reading the newspaper or watching the morning talk shows, these hardy souls decided to set fire to their lungs and legs. But local fire departments did nothing to douse the infernos since the fires were fueling the American Lung Association’s great work in fighting lung-related illnesses in our country.

In Denver, the gluttons for punishment walked, ran and staggered up 56 floors of a downtown office building. This year’s “Fight for Air” climb set records for money raised and participants. Each man or woman had individual reasons for lambasting lungs and legs, but we shared a common bond: a burning desire to raise money for research and programs to help others – perhaps ourselves – battle lung-related illnesses.

My father died of lung cancer almost three years ago. I miss him everyday, especially our time spent on the golf course. My old man was one lucky hacker. We had many great moments on the course together. To honor Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr., I trekked to the top carrying my golf clubs.

“Why in the heck are you carrying golf clubs?” was a common question as I waited, like a hacker at the first tee, with my Kinetics Fitness Studio teammates to start the journey. “It’s the least I can do to honor my father and remember the joy we shared on the links” was my joyful response.

Whenever standing before a group and leading a Pep Talk discussion, we talk a lot about “never growing weary of doing good things for others.” We discuss the importance of, “it’s better to give than receive” and “believe in the law of circulation” and “one good deed leads to another.”

In downtown Denver, and around the country, Americans united, were one heart beat. Despite the searing pain and lack of breath, it sure felt good to rally around one another for a good cause. It also felt good to honor my father. When was the last time you did something to honor someone who impacted your life in a positive manner? Maybe it’s a deceased parent, perhaps a former teacher, coach or business mentor?

There’s something magical about honoring the spirit of another. While they physically have departed, we can choose to keep their spirit alive. It doesn’t have to entail starting a fire in your legs and lungs but I promise you this, your actions will create a spark keeping their eternal flame flickering.

This week, take the time to remember, via actions, someone who touched your life - keep ‘em alive, in spirit, okay? Your good deed will honor their legacy and serve you and others well. As Emerson once said, “serve and thou shall be served.”

This week's Pep Talk: "Absence or Prevalence"

2010-03-23T14:17:00.001-06:00

The heated debate about reforming our nation’s health care system seems to have at least one thing we all agree upon: The United States of America must find a way to control the ever-increasing costs of the system.

There are, obviously from the quibbles in Congress, differing opinions about many things - public option, tort reform, purchase across state lines - but it’s easier to find a needle in a haystack than someone proclaiming, “health care is too cheap.”

So I think we could get an “amen” from just about everyone, when speaking of cost, the system is broken. A recent Price Waterhouse estimate says the expense each year for America’s health care is about 2.5 trillion dollars. And here’s the embarrassing kicker: Of that 2.5 trillion dollars spent, according to Price Waterhouse, half is for what it calls “absence of personal responsibility.”

Whenever leading a Pep Talk concerning living, despite its challenges, a successful life, toward the end of the discussion we talk about “courageously eliminating any self destructive behavior preventing us from expressing ourselves in healthy and productive ways.” One of things we talk about is “what are we putting into our bodies and minds?”

If the Price Waterhouse survey is even close to being accurate it’s shocking to realize half the nation’s health care bill would be eliminated if we started taking better care of ourselves: more exercise, sensible diets and weight control and less risky behavior concerning what we eat, drink or smoke.

We can haggle longer than the best Senate filibuster over a host of possible reforms but it sounds like, considering half the cost is absence of personal responsibility, until there’s a serious discussion about what we – personally - must do to enact change, the system will remain, for too many, too expensive, inefficient and elusive.

Mahatma Ghandi once said, “We must be the change we wish to see in this world.” It seems we Americans must be the change we wish to see before our dysfunctional health care system is transformed.

And you know what? An “absence of personal responsibility” is usually the demon that leads to the downfall of many things we cherish: marriages, professions and friendships to name a few.

This week, let’s turn this discussion on its head. Let’s focus, in our thoughts, words and actions, on the “prevalence of personal responsibility.” Despite what life throws our way tempting us to stray from healthy and productive behavior, let’s resist the temptation to demonstrate an absence of personal responsibility. Instead let’s make sure it’s prevalent – at home, work and community.

This week's Pep Talk: "Soul of Solutions"

2010-03-15T09:54:00.000-06:00

It’s impossible to avoid the constant chatter about the battered state of the nation’s economy. There are still far too many Americans unemployed, underemployed and scrambling to make ends meet.

The same is true for our local and state governments. There is much angst over the need to cut budgets. Our nation, collectively, is on a financial diet and the pains are gut wrenching.

Whenever I have the pleasure of presenting a Pep Talk to a group, we always discuss the importance of being limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face. America’s challenge is to learn to live, successfully, on fewer financial calories. It’s time to get creative.

That was the focus of the discussion at the Denver Business Journal’s first “State of the Cities” economic-forecast breakfast featuring Denver mayor John Hickenlooper and his colleague and friend, Aurora’s mayor Ed Tauer.

Each man told sobering tales of slashing budgets while trying to preserve, as best they can, vital community services each municipality provides to its citizens. Toward the end of detailing the good, bad and ugly concerning the Mile High City’s predicament, Hickenlooper told a story that is a perfect example of putting fear aside and allowing wonderment to win.

The current gubernatorial candidate, Denver’s two-term mayor related how a janitor at a large city office building had an idea: “If we perform the light janitorial duties during normal work hours – emptying trash cans, etc – and the more distracting stuff – vacuuming and mopping floors – after employees leave, we would cut down on energy usage and security costs at the building,” the smart employee told the mayor.

The janitor’s imagination was greater than his fear – “why would the mayor listen to me?” – and the city of Denver is saving about $250,000 a year now that the janitorial staff, and the security it needs while in the Wellington Webb building, is not there into the dead of night.

This can be a lesson for each of us. At home, work or community, where might there be a challenge that could use a imagination, not fear, dominating the thought process? Do you have a good idea that you’ve been sitting on? Fearful perhaps that others might suggest, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of!” Go for it. Shakespeare once bellowed, “Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”

Don’t let fear get in the way of your dreams. Instead, take a cue from a sharp janitor, and remember courage is the soul of your dreams. It’s also the soul of solutions to whatever ails us at home, work or community.

This week's Pep Talk: "Spare the Heartache"

2010-03-08T07:46:00.001-07:00

One of the more popular questions these days is, “Can Tiger do it?” Can the once honored, now humiliated, golfing megastar truly - his words - “begin to live a life of integrity.” Of course he can.

It’s easy for me to say that, but it’s going to be far more difficult for Woods’ to execute. His amazing ability to recover from deep fairway rough or cavernous greenside bunkers pales in comparison to the fortitude, moral strength and discipline one of the world’s most recognized, and tempted, human beings must muster to succeed.

How do you think he’s going to react on the course when a smart-aleck fan, instead of “Go Tiger”, bellows “Go Cheetah?” Also, the temptations are not going to disappear. The beautiful women who seek his affection will still be present. That’s life as a superstar. Those realities come with the territory.

When I have the great pleasure of standing before a group a leading a Pep Talk discussion, the fourth of what I call the “five fabulous philosophies” centers on, in our thoughts, words and actions, only things that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve - those communities being our families, work and civic commitments.

Tiger’s transgressions have not met that test, have caused great family pain, embarrassed employees at his foundation and created disdain from former fans, including his legion of million-dollar sponsors.

But can Tiger turn this around? Absolutely. In my years as a television sportscaster, I covered the now defunct International Golf Tournament in Castle Rock, Colorado, just south of Denver. Tiger played twice. What I recall vividly was the respect the billion-dollar athlete garnered from his peers for mental toughness. Few talked about Woods’ abundant physical talents, they marveled at his ability to block everything out and focus entirely on the task at hand. Remember, he won the U.S. Open a few years ago on a broken leg and shredded knee!

Tiger can pretty much accomplish, including destroying his reputation, whatever he sets his mind too. But guess what, we’re the same. We can do that. Heck, I can remember entering graduate school at the age of 26. I had decent grades as an undergrad but when I returned for a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri, I was focused and determined, and earned straight A’s.

We all have within us a tremendous amount of potential to achieve whatever – good or bad – we set our mind to accomplish. Be careful therefore, what you choose to emphasize because if you want it bad enough, you’ll get it.

That’s the truth for Tiger, for you and me. That is why it is so critical to remember the “honor, nurture and add value” test – it will spare each of us a lot of heartache.

This week's Pep Talk: "More Kindness"

2010-03-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

I talk a lot about being joyful for the blessings of our lives. Most of us have them, in some way, shape, form or another. But let’s be honest, we often think more about our challenges in life than our blessings, right?

Well, one of my great blessings is the neighborhood where I dwell. Nestled on Denver’s near east side, close to the city’s beautiful botanic gardens, it’s like a little village with a wonderful retail area just a three-block walk from my front door. The area has small-business restaurants and shops for everything I need, including a grocery store and post office. They’re one and the same.

Sean and Stephanie, a loving couple and proprietors, have become good buddies. They provide real value to the neighborhood with their clean, reasonably priced and well-stocked store. They also have a U.S. Postal Service office within the store. I’m in there often, because thanks to folks like you, I do some sell books. It’s from 12th Avenue Market that I ship them to you.

I’m in there conducting business and ask Sean how things were going. “Mark, you know the grocery store side of this endeavor is going great,” said the scratch golfer. “But the post office stuff? We gotta talk.”

Whenever I have the privilege of leading a group – via a Pep Talk - and encouraging them to play like champions in the game of life, we always talk about the importance of conducting our lives in ways that honor, nurture and add value to the communities we serve. Those communities are: home, work and community.

It sounds like there’s been a few too many people utilizing the store’s post office, who don’t necessarily believe it’s real important to honor, nurture and value. “People can get really rude and impatient with the time element of a post office,” Sean tells me. “They need to chill out a bit.”

When he told me this, my mind immediately visualized adults acting like, well, maybe like smart-aleck teenage kids. “No,” Sean sighed. “Worse.”

And then my brain drifted to this: It’s a stressful time in this nation’s history. It seems there’s little good news out there concerning the economy and many other things. We’re tense. We’re wondering what the heck is gonna happen next?

This is the exact time where we have to rally around one another. This is when we have to come together, to unite. A good strategy to living a life that honors, nurtures and adds value to the communities you serve is to never grow weary of doing good things for others. This week, let’s start with a little more kindness toward one another, especially at the post office, okay?