This week's Pep Talk: "Common Ground is Key"

I was reading the Denver Post on a recent Sunday afternoon when a letter to the editors caught me eye:

“Our national ‘dialogue’ is dominated by self-important agendas meant to set aside others and their concerns and needs. Call me crazy and perhaps naïve, but wouldn’t we be a lot better off by putting all the energy into finding common ground?”

The writer, Kelsey Kenfield from Denver, is somebody I want - as former CU football coach Bill McCartney would say - “to charge out of the foxhole with.” Common ground. Is it fair to call it “teamwork?” It’s stressed everywhere: our families, schools, neighborhoods, businesses and athletic teams. Why in the heck have we lost track, it’s a universal truth? We must work together to solve what ails us. I know, simple, not easy.

For example, two issues surrounding life in America needing immediate attention are education and immigration. Our schools are financially strapped and our immigration policies in desperate need of enforcement and revision. Whenever I have the honor of standing before a group and encouraging them to play like champions in the game of life we always talk about “believing in the law of circulation; that one good deed leads to another.”

In the context of education and immigration, how about this idea: We finally get Congress to pass new immigration policies providing excellent security at our borders, a reasonable pathway to citizenship and a promise, from those applying, to the following: “work hard at your job, obey the law and encourage school-age children in your home to embrace the value of education and fluency of English as their primary language.” In other words, The United States of America sets expectations for those who desire a new start in our country. In return, the path to citizenship would be through a front door, not the back and its dangerous pitfalls.

Returning to Kenfield’s thoughts expressed in the Post about “common ground” and the importance of it, could this be a step in the right direction? America sets the expectation, those seeking admittance accept, the door is open, come on in. It’s really no different than successful strategies for raising kids, building businesses and safe neighborhoods: we find common ground, set expectations and expect cooperation. When that doesn’t happen, there are consequences.

Finding common ground, setting expectations and expecting cooperation are excellent building blocks for success – anywhere! It boils down to this: are we willing to sacrifice self – costs a little –for the betterment of the common good – means a lot? Like Kenfield, I’ve been called crazy and naïve before, but if you ask me, when a majority of folks answer “yes” to questions about common ground, expectations and cooperation, we’ll begin to make progress wherever we roam in America – home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Beats being Bummed"

It was a spectacular Mile High City day of mid-September. I’m wandering around my near eastside Congress Park neighborhood: stopped into to see my buddies who own the grocery store; then a quick meeting with business partner just a few doors down and then, lunch with another buddy and his two darling daughters – neither would sit next to me and crammed into the booth next to their father. Am I really that scary?

I’m now strolling back to my modest abode, enjoying the warm sunshine, incredibly blue sky and perfect temperature – feeling very blessed. And then it gets better.

I bump into a neighbor friend whose mother, in her 80’s, is still very physically healthy but has some memory challenges. Those challenges make living in an assisted living facility a smart move for her and loved ones – folks like you - agonizing over the best strategy - independence or assistance – for their cherished creators, mentors and supporters.

“My mom rarely calls, but she called the other day,” says my neighbor friend, a great woman, wife and mom, “She was so jacked about their trip to the mountains.” Then my friend said something that made my marrow gurgle: “She sounded so joyful.”

Ah, music to my ears. Whenever I have the thrill of standing before a group and encouraging them to “run to daylight” and “turn life’s lemons into – the heck with lemonade – sweet and savory margaritas” we always talk about the importance of being “joyful for the blessings of our life.”

Now, I understand, that’s easier said than done. Quite often, when it seems like you’re up to your ass in crocodiles – I heard that often growing up in Missouri – and feel like lunch for the crocs, it’s damn tough to be focused on being “joyful.” I get it.

But we do have a choice. We can still, despite life’s lemons, be focused on the sweet and savory, the margaritas. It might be real hard to find them sometimes but they’re usually there. What we don’t know until we’re in that spot, is whether we will choose to focus on the challenge itself or perhaps, be focused on a solution. And sometimes the solution is to say, “Okay, I know I have this – fill in the blank – but I choose to refuse to allow it to have me.”

Focus on your blessings. Promise yourself to be a student of your experiences and not a victim of your circumstances. My neighbor’s mother is aging, forgetful and has other issues, but at least on this two-day getaway with others from her assisted living facility, she chose to be joyful.

It’s a good place to operate from. Whether it comes from walking around your neighborhood on a glorious day, remembering a great vacation or counting your blessings, being joyful sure beats being bummed out. Today, tomorrow and down the road - home, work and elsewhere.

This week's Pep Talk: "Simple, not Easy"

I have had the great joy of returning to my sports roots for the past four months. It’s been a lot of fun. Each weekday afternoon from 3-6PM, along with Jimmy Doogan, I co-host sports talk radio on Mile High Sports, AM1510 and FM93.7. We call the show “Drive Time with Mac and Doog: Ain’t about us, it’s about YOU!”

We really try and focus on our listeners and give them a forum to express their opinion. Imagine, we’re all sitting around the bar talking sports, that’s the atmosphere we’re trying to create. Even when we have guests on the show we encourage our listeners to call in, with one caveat: considering our guests – players, coaches, analysts and others – are taking time from their busy schedules to join us, the least we, and our callers, can do when speaking with the guests is to, as we mention on the air, “Be nice and mind your manners.”

It’s a real basic request and everyone so far has honored the request, that’s pretty cool.

I wish to say I could take credit for thinking of this, but that wouldn’t be honest. I must give credit to my buddy Chester. My brother from another mother, we became good buddies during our college days at Mizzou and have stayed close ever since. At his family’s place in Crested Butte, Colorado, above the refrigerator is a sign that in large letters proclaims: “Be Nice and Mind Your Manners.”

I wonder if they have a sign like that in the halls of Congress? What about in our homes, workplaces, schools and elsewhere? Wouldn’t it be cool if, wherever we roam, it was emphasized to be “nice and mind your manners?”

I’m not saying we can’t have disagreement or discourse. I’m just saying can’t we exercise those important elements of society in a more civil manner than what seems to dominate these days. Do we really feel we must shout down another to be heard?

I think it all comes down to respect, for one another. We don’t have to always agree but my goodness, let’s debate our issues – home, work and elsewhere – in ways that honor, nurture and add value to self, others and the communities we serve, okay?

Be nice and mind our manners. It’s easy to say, and easy to affirm, far more difficult to execute, simple, not easy. A lot like life if you ask me.