"Better for the Effort"

It has been a while since Billy Joel blared in the background as the latest Pep Talk transferred from cranium to computer to you. I hope you find value in the messages. I sure enjoy writing thoughts about life and encouraging you and self, despite inevitable challenges, to play like champions - home, work and elsewhere.

My mind wanders to earlier this warm, almost hot, 2012 Centennial State day. It happens to be Cinco de Mayo. Did you know, at least according to About.com, under Latin American history, the holiday commemorating an improbable 1862 Mexican war victory, is celebrated more in America than Mexico. As the old saying goes, “Truth is stranger than fiction” sometimes, right?

Anyway, back to the story, perched upon bicycle I’m rolling downhill into Cherry Creek North for lunch with a dear friend, financial advisor and life mentor - a father figure. I admire him greatly. A few minutes before embarking on this five-minute spinI had put on the favorite weekend “at least he took a shower” golf shirt in anticipation of our meeting. It’s blue and comfy and proclaims “Louisiana College.” I love this shirt for comfort - physically and emotionally. Another of your humble correspondent’s stellar mentors coaches football at the small liberal arts school in Pineville, Louisiana. He’s coached me, and thousands of other young men, in more than 50 years of prep and collegiate coaching.

These two men have always encouraged and supported my dreams and the dreams of many others. I love and value their friendship and want to inform them, considering, unfortunately, we never know when it might be too late to express such feelings.

Football lost a special person this past week when Junior Seau terminated life with a shotgun blast to his heart. The future Hall-of-Fame linebacker starred for the San Diego Chargers and later played for Miami and New England in a 20-year career. He was admired by teammates, coaches, executives, fans and community. One of those “charge from the fox hole” kinda guys a buddy, Billy Mac from Hackensack, likes to talk about over mud and water.

Watching the 12-time Pro Bowler’s grieving family, teammates and community pour their souls into testimonies rattled skeleton and chilled marrow concerning a prevalent theme: the apparent lack of knowledge to the 43-year-old’s desperation and despair.  Grown men; big, strong and tough football players weeping, along with Seau’s heartbroken mother and others, often stating, “I wish I would have known. I would have reached out to him.”

Who knows if it would have made any difference in this instance. I think we all have had, and will continue to experience, these types of situations. Those moments in life, rarely joyful, when we look back upon painful experiences and admit, “If I would have done this.....”

The CU Buffs won three straight Big 8 football titles from 1989-91. Colorado also won its only national championship in that time frame, the greatest run in school history. Each of those terrific teams had the same starting quarterback. Darian Hagan. Today he’s the school’s recruiting coordinator. In the hearts of many Buffs to the bone, #3 will always be “Mr. Magic.” 

Anyway, during his playing days, after a Buffs victory one year back when covering the team, I recall asking the California native a question about an interception he threw. I’ll never forget the cat-quick quarterback’s response concerning not playing the “if” game:  “You can’t count on ‘ifs’ because ‘ifs’ are no good.”

Amen to that brother. This week let’s remember Hagan’s wise words and the powerful visual reminders of indescribable grief associated with tragic loss. Let’s try like heck to have our reticular activating system on high alert for someone near and dear to our hearts who might be discouraged right now. 

Let’s promise one another to call, write or visit - no texting or emailing allowed - one person who needs to feel our loving and encouraging touch. Who knows, it might give them hope and confidence to weather the storm. Maybe it won’t. This much I do know, we’ll be better from the effort.

Have a good week!

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Pep Talk: "Not So Tough"

It had been a good final April weekend Saturday with workout, yard work, catching up with neighbors, nice stroll with 15-year-old daughter, securing donation from community-minded restaurant owner for daughter’s high-school volleyball team, first sighting of darling girlfriend in too long and short bike ride to neighborhood liquor store for weekly six-pack. Dang, so far so good.

Last, but certainly not least, opening day for Pep Talk writing from Poor Man’s Porch. Oldies’ music on the radio and sounds of Congress Park in the background. It might be smart to buy a lottery ticket this evening. I’m feeling real blessed.

And then my mind wanders to the before-mentioned wonderful soul who is teenage daughter. The volleyball setter has become, often, chauffeur. Yea, that’s right. The blue-eyed beauty has a learner’s permit and needs to drive, with a family member, about 50 hours before attempting to earn a license upon 16th birthday. She’s a good driver and recently achieve a major, at least in her mind at that time, milestone: successfully navigating the tight turns of a restaurant drive through. It’s a piece of cake for us old timers but for someone just starting out, a bit intimidating.

It’s so cool to witness evolution. For whatever reason cranium venture to younger years. A favorite story in my first book, Kids Teach the Darndest Things, recalls a time shortly after the fashionista had learned to read. At night we had bedtime reading. Well, one night, and I know many, if not each, of you have been there, I was just not in the mood and was tempted to blow it off. I didn’t. Here’s where it gets interesting.

So tempted to bag the reading and not wanting to sort through children’s books to find the right story, I just grabbed a framed copy of Life’s Little Instructions
occupying a corner of my bathroom vanity. Simple little statements about, my words, playing life a champion in the game of life. Stuff like, “sing in the shower; compliment even small improvements, wave to kids on school buses, don’t expect life to be fair.” Simple statements that at Rachie’s reading level at the time, I thought she could handle.

She had been sitting in a comfy reading chair a few feet away and zooming through them when we hit turbulent water. Toward the end of reciting the short but powerful phrases, there’s more than 50, the little lady got stuck: “Live you life as an.....x.....x......, not an x...........” The precious princess was stuck on words starting with “x”. She bounced into the bathroom with “Daddy, how do you say this?” She hands me the plaque and point a dainty finger to: “Live your live as an exclamation, not an explanation.”

It was one of those moments folks. I love telling that story in live Pep Talk presentations.  Here comes the question. Are we living our lives as an exclamation, not an explanation?
If not, why? How could we this week do one thing to turn a lemon of life into a sweet and savory margarita? Make it a virgin margarita if desired.

But where is it time to cease with the explaining and do some exclaiming? Wherever it might be, go for it. You can do it! Perhaps, just like a novice driver navigating a drive through, you’ll realize exclaiming not explaining is not so tough and so worthwhile.

Good luck!

Pep Talk: "Better Each Day"

It was a recent Thursday spring day in the Mile High City. I’m hanging at Brandon’s Pub in Cherry Creek North. I love the restaurant’s salsa, chips, food and, except at lunch, margaritas.

ESPN is on in the background. The big story is Pat Summit stepping aside as head coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols’ basketball program after 38 incredible years and many championships. The 59-year-old is suffering from early symptoms of Alzheimer’s and, as her son said, “Wanted to do what’s right for the team.”

In all my years of sportscasting I don’t recall ever meeting Summit but do know former CU head women’s basketball coach Ceal Barry always spoke highly of the winningest coach in NCAA basketball history - women or men. Coach Barry’s endorsement is good enough for me. If you need more proof about the reverence held for Summit, within a day of her announcement - she will remain involved with program as head coach emeritus - President Obama honored her with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, our nation’s highest civilian award. And whenever I think of the Medal of Freedom, it takes cranium to Whitney Young.

I speak of him often during live Pep Talk presentations. Young was born in 1921. His Kentucky childhood was rather uneventful and he earned a degree from Kentucky State University. Then he marched off to World War II and into the record books. Young was assigned to an all black regiment of soldiers responsible for repairing Europe’s bomb-ravaged roads. The war was over but to get people back to work and economies percolating, road reconstruction was necessary. The engineer and other black soldiers were supervised by an all white, Southern, officer crew. This was the 1940’s folks. However, Young stood out and was quickly promoted from private to sergeant, causing consternation on both sides of the racial divide of the time.

That division planted a seed inside Young’s soul to, upon exiting the military, dedicate life to improving race relations in our country. He worked for the National Urban League office in Omaha; taught university classes on race relations in Atlanta; checked in with the NAACP for a bit and then, at the age of 40, was named the national president of the National Urban League. In the ten years he ran the organization it saw tremendous growth in size and stature. At the age of 47, then President Lyndon B. Johnson awarded Young the Medal of Freedom too. He was a stud who sadly drowned at the tender age of 49 while swimming on an African vacation.

Young’s life mission statement was “There’s nothing noble in being superior to somebody else. True nobility lies in becoming superior to our former selves.” Wow. I have always loved that statement and hope you embrace it too. What’s the old saying, “There’s always room for improvement?” Ironically, the music being piped through the neighborhood pub just landed on Todd Rundgren’s Bang the Drum All Day and it’s lyrics, “I don’t want to work.” I promise that’s the truth.

Anyway, the point is this: this week let’s focus on becoming superior to our former selves - home, work or elsewhere. Becoming superior to our former selves requires a passion for getting better. It requires work. That was one of Summit’s final thoughts on this transitional day for Tennessee athletics, she said, “I made a vow early in my career to always try and be a little better each day.”

It worked for Whitney Young. It worked for Pat Summit. It will work for us too. I know, it ain’t always easy, stuff happens. However, this week let’s keep our eye on the prize of being a little better each day.