This week's Pep Talk: "No Substitute"

As the father of a teenager and young adult, I find myself praying often that a wonderful young man and his younger sister will always have dreams and have the courage to chase those dreams. I also hope they understand sometimes those dreams don’t unfold exactly the way it was envisioned when the dream became crystal clear and they set forth in transforming the dream – the voice within – into reality via actions, thoughts and beliefs.

Each of them is in the midst of chasing dreams. It’s very cool to watch them unfold. Kyle, after three semesters as a film student at New York University, has moved back to California and is working full time at a major talent agency in Hollywood and continuing his studies at night; younger sister Rachel, having just turned 13, is working her butt off in improving her volleyball skills while maintaining an incredibly hectic schedule and very good grades in school.

As I marvel and admire their willingness to devote themselves so passionately to success in their endeavors, it reminds me of something I learned long ago. It was a daily reminder each and every day as I slipped into football, basketball or baseball practice gear at Raytown South High School. The reminder came from a huge sign hung from our locker room wall. A blessing for me, it was in my direct line of sight and proclaimed: “There is no substitute for hard work.”

There are some fundamentals regarding success that stand the test of time. Each generation reveals new fads and fashions but there are a few things that never go out of style. One is, there is no substitute for hard work.

Whenever I have the privilege of leading a Pep Talk discussion, we talk about the importance of “putting fear and self doubt aside and allowing wonderment to win.” I think that’s a real key in believing “there’s no substitute for hard work.” Regardless of the endeavor, if fear overpowers wonderment, why in the world would we put forth the effort to reach for dreams and goals?

The wonderment surrounding reaching a goal and becoming superior to our former selves must rule over the fear and self-doubt of falling short. It’s simple to grasp this philosophy but not easy to accomplish.

This week, put fear and self-doubt aside! It might be losing weight, quitting smoking, remaining faithful in your marriage, returning to school, changing jobs, volunteering in your community – it doesn’t matter. What does matter is you accept, realize and embrace the challenge. I encourage you to take a cue from two wonderful kids – there is no substitute for hard work and it starts with the tough task of allowing wonderment to defeat fear.

This week's Pep Talk: "Progress from Pain"

I would suspect most have heard the old adage “adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.” It’s easy to say, easy to affirm, but let’s be honest, much more difficult – when the storms of life come along – to live it, right? But people do it. Somehow, someway they find the guts to, as I like to say whenever giving a Pep Talk: “Refuse to become a victim of circumstance, instead choose to become a student of experience.”

That is certainly Thelissa Zollinger’s story. Gary, her darling and devoted husband died way too young from a rare form of lung cancer. An active and fit husband, father and grandpa, the energy executive developed a violent hacking cough in his 56th year. Doctors first thought it might be an asthmatic condition. Sadly, it was cancer. By the time of diagnosis, it was already stage four. That’s a sad and familiar story for too many lung cancer patients – the diagnosis comes too late.

Gary fought a brave fight. After conventional treatments proved ineffective, the non-smoker underwent a radical double-lung transplant. The surgery was successful but tragically, ten months later, severe back pain had Gary back in the doctor’s office. The news was not good. Cancer had returned to his spine. Gary Zollinger died six months later.

Married 30 years, the couple made Gary’s final days quite productive. The Zollinger’s started an endowment to fund research to develop an early-detection test. According to the Lung Cancer Alliance, funding dollars for lung cancer research are 1/20th of those for breast cancer despite the fact, each year, three times as many people die in Colorado from lung cancer than breast cancer.

I sat across a conference table from Thelissa and marveled at her passion and determination to raise money and awareness. She achieves each with an annual “The Gift of Life and Breath” 5K walk and run. This year, it’s May 15. Join us, will ya? You can find more info at www.thegiftoflifeandbreath.com. I’m in to honor my father. He died of lung cancer in 2007. When doctors discovered his tumor, it was stage four too, and too late.

Lung cancer took my father and Thelissa’s husband too early. I know you have similar stories. Who hasn’t been touched by cancer’s devastating effects? Today, although it’s early in development, there is hope. Thanks to Thelissa’s crusade, research is focusing on biomarkers as a possible means to catch lung cancer before it’s too late.

Progress has emerged from Thelissa’s pain. Somewhere from above, you know her hubby’s looking down and shouting “you go girl!” This amazing woman has chosen to become a student, not victim, of her experience. Progress from pain, a lesson we should all take to heart.

This week's Pep Talk: "Keep Spirit Alive"

In cities across America in late February, thousands decided to spend their Sunday morning a little differently. Instead of lying in bed reading the newspaper or watching the morning talk shows, these hardy souls decided to set fire to their lungs and legs. But local fire departments did nothing to douse the infernos since the fires were fueling the American Lung Association’s great work in fighting lung-related illnesses in our country.

In Denver, the gluttons for punishment walked, ran and staggered up 56 floors of a downtown office building. This year’s “Fight for Air” climb set records for money raised and participants. Each man or woman had individual reasons for lambasting lungs and legs, but we shared a common bond: a burning desire to raise money for research and programs to help others – perhaps ourselves – battle lung-related illnesses.

My father died of lung cancer almost three years ago. I miss him everyday, especially our time spent on the golf course. My old man was one lucky hacker. We had many great moments on the course together. To honor Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr., I trekked to the top carrying my golf clubs.

“Why in the heck are you carrying golf clubs?” was a common question as I waited, like a hacker at the first tee, with my Kinetics Fitness Studio teammates to start the journey. “It’s the least I can do to honor my father and remember the joy we shared on the links” was my joyful response.

Whenever standing before a group and leading a Pep Talk discussion, we talk a lot about “never growing weary of doing good things for others.” We discuss the importance of, “it’s better to give than receive” and “believe in the law of circulation” and “one good deed leads to another.”

In downtown Denver, and around the country, Americans united, were one heart beat. Despite the searing pain and lack of breath, it sure felt good to rally around one another for a good cause. It also felt good to honor my father. When was the last time you did something to honor someone who impacted your life in a positive manner? Maybe it’s a deceased parent, perhaps a former teacher, coach or business mentor?

There’s something magical about honoring the spirit of another. While they physically have departed, we can choose to keep their spirit alive. It doesn’t have to entail starting a fire in your legs and lungs but I promise you this, your actions will create a spark keeping their eternal flame flickering.

This week, take the time to remember, via actions, someone who touched your life - keep ‘em alive, in spirit, okay? Your good deed will honor their legacy and serve you and others well. As Emerson once said, “serve and thou shall be served.”