This week's Pep Talk: "Listen More, Speak Less"

It’s the final day of the final month. It’s late in the fourth quarter of 2011 and here we gather. For some I would suspect, for a variety of reasons, it was a tad difficult 365 days. So, and you know what’s coming here, we have a decision looming concerning our recent past. Are we going to become a student of its experiences or victim of its circumstances?

Now, having said that, it’s certainly realized, for many, there have been unimaginable events that have us wondering, “What the heck is going on around here?” Perhaps it was the sudden death of child; deep pain of divorce; big drop in finances or other despair creating moments burrowed deep within. Momentous, as offered in Pep Talk presentations, “Pokes in the eye.”

Those moments of life where our souls bleed. It ain’t a pretty place to dwell. I have been blessed over the years with mentors encouraging me - when soul was bleeding - to carry on. I love what buddy Bill McCartney says about the subject. We talk often over water and mud. The subject frequently centers around those times in life when, as my mentor would say, “We gotta lie on the battlefield for a bit and bleed. But then we must rise and carry on.” I don’t know about you but that makes this old jock’s marrow warm.

I’m just a simple dude from Missouri, so this is just my opinion, but to consistently “rise and carry on” is a good trait to possess considering life’s uncertainty, right? Please tell me the answer to that question is yes! Simple, not easy, right? So, would it not be wise to surround ourselves with like-minded folks? Other determined human beings committed to “rising and carrying on?”

The task before us, turning life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas will be challenging. Somebody wrote a book about that, right? Anyway, we will probably need encouragement for the journey of learning from, not becoming victim of, life and its unexpected and unwanted twists and turns that make us want to text, email or write, “WTF!”

It’s late Saturday morning in the Mile High City. The wind is howling outside while Billy Joel’s Lights on Broadway blares behind me and it makes me think of another buddy. I had just emailed an exaltation to this dynamic business leader. Then cranium jumped to the sports talk show I co-host with Jimmy Doogan each weekday afternoon on Mile High Sports Radio. It’s a good problem to have, but as the call volume increases, out of respect for others, we need to encourage our wonderful listeners to, as I was taught at the University of Missouri School of Journalism long ago, “Be clear, concise and compelling.”

It’s a terrific trio ain’t it? If we’re clear, concise and compelling with one another it creates an environment fostering honesty, clarity and engagement. Give me honesty, clarity and engagement on a consistent basis and I like our chances to claim victory against whatever ails wherever we roam. The venue may change but the strategy remains the same!

And here’s - again just thoughts - what really is cool about a clear, concise and compelling trio transforming into an equally - maybe more? - beneficial trio of honesty, clarity and engagement. It starts with us listening more.

You see, if we’re clear, concise and compelling we talk less and listen more. We get our point across quickly so others can speak and we can listen. Who knows, maybe we’ll learn something beneficial in honoring us, nurturing those dependent upon us and adding value to the communities we serve. Dang, you can imagine?

Maybe that’s where this should stop. Billy is wailing through Everybody Loves You Now and here’s a quick little prayer for each of us as we try and excel in 2012: “May we be joyful for the blessings of life; optimistic about the future and courageous despite the past. Also, as the New Year begins, give us the strength and courage to be clear, concise and compelling with whomever we meet. In doing so, it will allow time for us to listen more and speak less. God knows that’s a good thing!”

Amen to that. Happy New Year!

This week's Pep Talk: "Fair, Reasonable and Agreeable"

Consistent readers of this weekly musing, and folks who have heard me speak in person, know the message often includes this belief: when facing challenging moments in life, we must have “the courage to put fear and self doubt aside and allow wonderment to win.”

Usually when talking, or writing, about courage trumping fear my mind wanders to a buddy and long-time mentor Dr. Jerry Gibson. He’s in his eighties these days but still has the passion and enthusiasm of someone half his age. The former University of Illinois football team chaplain and I used to have wonderful breakfasts together in the Mile High City before he and beautiful wife Normadeene moved to Arizona about a year ago.

I’ll never forget one conversation about the importance of courage and risk taking in reaching desired goals, when the retired minister proclaimed, “Mark, when it comes to risk taking we could learn from turtles.” I almost spit out my oatmeal while chuckling but was able to query, “What the heck are you talking about, we could learn from turtles?” With a grin as wide as the chasm separating America’s rival political parties, Gibson responded, “Think about it. A turtle doesn’t make any progress until sticking its neck out!” Ya know he has a point. So, here goes: I’m gonna stick my neck out.

For the past seven years, folks like you, have received a weekly Pep Talk. A short story, from life experiences, designed to encourage others to play like champions - home, work and elsewhere. Two years ago, Victory Productions added a Daily Dose of encouragement via mobile device texts. Each product has the same mission: help you effectively deal with change, challenge and adversity and keep your spirit hopeful. The writing and distribution of these services takes time and money.

As a small business owner, - many of you can relate too - we must constantly evaluate where we’re spending time and resources, right? A trusted advisor challenged me recently, “Mark, you need to discover what value others believe your writings bring to their lives. You need to have the courage to ask.” He’s right. How many businesses survive when providing services/products for free? After prayer and deliberation, I am asking for a $20 annual subscription fee in consideration of the time and effort required to produce Pep Talk and Daily Dose.

I hope you agree. Yes, it will cost a little but, trust me, it will mean a lot toward Victory Productions’ ability to provide these services. For every $20 payment received before January 1st, 2012, $5 will be donated to Widow’s Walk, www.widowswalk.com, a Denver-based non profit providing support and services to women and families who have lost a husband and father.

Thanks for considering this value proposition. I hope you find it fair, reasonable and agreeable. At this time, I hope you find life in a similar fashion too. Happy Holidays! Here's where you can subscribe to Pep Talk/Daily Dose: http://www.seekvictory.com/books.html.

This week's Pep Talk: "Two Men Named Mac"

It was a Saturday Centennial State day eight days before Christmas; everybody on the planet is talking Tebow in the buildup to the Broncos and Patriots and I’m doing laundry. While the cat snores beside me, a few thoughts crashed into the cranium, including:

My wonderful father. Most folks who knew the personable and trustworthy dude called him “Mac.” What sparked remembrance of a golfing buddy who passed back in 2007, was a conversation with another guy most know as “Mac.” That would be Bill McCartney.

Coach Mac and I have known each other a long time and we’re hitting the road to speak to groups about life and leadership. Yeah, as he likes to say, “The righty with the high hard one and the lefty with the off speed - off beat? - stuff.” Yeah, we’re a team. He’s the coach, I’m the quarterback. Which is appropriate. Anyway, we had just wrapped up a productive phone call that ended because he and his darling wife Lyndi were hustling to their grandson’s basketball game. After hanging up the phone, I paused and gave thanks for Coach Mac. For whatever reason, that joy shifted my spirit to Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr., my old man.

They have each been wonderful mentors. In fact, when I was going through my first painful divorce years ago, these two men were in the fox hole with me. Marv Mac, who lived in Kansas City, would call weekly and visit often. Meanwhile Coach Mac, then leading the University of Colorado football program, would write often. Each was always encouraging me to overcome adversity. As I like to joke, “turn life’s lemons - heck with lemonade - sweet and savory margaritas.” Somebody wrote a book with that silly title, right?

Back to the point. I’ve always been a big fan of “spirit” and its power. Whether it’s been a team, person, organization and other stuff, my opinion, we’re usually attracted to others because of a similar spirit, right? Well, I’m a damn lucky dude to have Marv Mac and Coach Mac as mentors. They have similar spirits and they inspire me.

To me it’s a great example of someone’s spirit, Marv Mac’s, being alive and well through another, Coach Mac. Hey, it’s just my opinion, but I think it’s pretty cool. The experience, did make me think of my father and brought tears to my eyes. The beautiful part is they were tears of joy. Never a bad thing to have show up every once in a while, right? I hope, in the craziness that is the holiday season, joy’s showing up for you too. For those where that just ain’t possible, for a variety of reasons, a quick prayer: “May you find strength from above, below, within or wherever to hang in there and believe better days lie ahead. Cling like heck to hope!”

As we scurry about looking for the special gift for someone this holiday season, how about this? Let’s call, or write a hand-written note, folks who showed us how to cling to hope in the challenging times and give them thanks and praise.

Two men named Mac took me to thanks and praise. It’s a good spot to dwell. One I hope you find as well this busy time of year. Blessings.