Pep Talk: "Gender Be Damned, It Works!"

Long ago an expert in the field of women’s health and wellness informed this aging jock of something startling. Doctor and respected international speaker/writer Christiane Northrup told me, “You think as much as a woman as you do a man.”

Ouch. Dr. Northrup made this comment while exiting the set of KUSA-TV’s “Colorado & Company.” Co-host Denise Plante and I had just interviewed her during a visit to the Mile High City. Northrup’s books have been translated into 24 languages. In 2013 Reader’s Digest named the visionary pioneer one of “America’s most trusted people.”

Since that fateful meeting several years ago, when delivering peak performance Pep Talks, when the time and audience is right, I bring up this story and joke, “I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body.” For those making Caitlyn Jenner comparisons, don’t. Northrup’s words, “Mark, you’re very empathetic!” Guilty as charged.

So, on a daily basis, I read the “Ask Amy” section of the Denver Post. I would suspect I’m not the only male who does. Recently a reader was lamenting the breakdown of a relationship with a sibling. The woman had bought concert tickets for her and favorite brother. However, something happened causing a rift. Emotionally wounded, the woman angrily informed sibling, “Take the tickets but I ain’t going!”

Well, a year had passed. The woman was feeling guilty and seeking advice on how to begin relationship repair. Amy Dickinson, the woman behind the column, suggested this pearl: “Sometimes it’s a little easier to ease back into a relationship through a shared activity.”

Bingo!

Dickinson’s advice immediately made me think of Victory’s A Stronger Cord wellness movement and its efforts to unite our communities. The horrific tragedy in Roanoke, Virginia is just the latest example that America has become too divided. Collectively, we must figure out better ways to deal with anger, frustration and sense of hopelessness. Few take emotional duress to such extremes but let’s be honest, life in America, for most, is rather stressful.

We know life rarely goes as planned. It has unexpected twists and turns that leave us wondering, “Why me?” Exercise can be a great stress reducer, connector and equalizer. A way to “ease back into a relationship through a shared activity.” Ruminating about a relationship gone bad? Trying to figure out ways to build bridges where barriers exist right now?

Attend the theatre together, volunteer together, attend an ASC workout together or attend a sporting event. Whatever. Try and ease back into relationships through shared activities. That’s the mission of ASC’s knuckleheads. Whether black, white or brown, living in a mission, mansion or on Main street, exercise is the shared activity bringing us together to sweat, bond and grow as we “work out, hang out and help out.”

It doesn’t matter whether this encouragement is coming from the woman or man trapped inside your scribe’s body. What’s important is using shared activities as a positive step toward easing back into a frayed relationship.

Gender be damned, it works!

Pep Talk: "The Spirit We Bring"

We’re getting ready for the football season, the baseball season is winding down and school is starting up. It was not surprising the topic in a recent Friday morning gathering of knuckleheads was understanding the seasons of life. Simple, not easy.

While conversing with half of dozen other dudes determined to grow in faith, words of wisdom were coming from Ecclesiastes. There King Solomon, a grumpy old man toward the end of life, was offering advice about the journey’s uncertainties and this:  “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity.”

While reading the passage about “seasons” this aging jock’s mind wandered to, a few days before, moving precious daughter into a dormitory on the University of Colorado-Boulder campus. This is a new season for the blue-eyed beauty.

Where in the heck have 18 years gone? From the little tyke crawling backward down the house steps toward the basement playroom, to the graceful “Nutcracker” ballerina, to the award-winning volleyball setter, it all seemed to have flown by in a flash. I know many parents can relate.

Kids, they teach us the darndest things and grow up fast.

As your scribe walked toward the dormitory recycling dumpster with unloaded boxes no longer needed, thy mind started focusing on, “Wow, Rachie’s on her own now.” Thankfully, the thoughts were not alarming. For whatever reason, Luther Gulick suddenly jumped into my brain.

The Hawaii native founded Camp Fire Girls more than a century ago. Along with wife Charlotte, the educator surveyed the landscape of the early 20th century and wondered, “What are we doing for the girls?” While young men marched off to summer camp opportunities and leadership grooming, at the time, most young women were expected to learn domestic talents and little else. The Gulick’s thought that silly and wrong.

Through Camp Fire activities girls were encouraged to dream. They were also encourage to “Work hard, make healthy choices and demonstrate love and respect for others.” Work. Health. Love. A terrific trio that, to this day within Camp Fire, is the foundation for the youth development organization’s work. Now coed, Camp Fire USA has a WOHELO award. It goes to outstanding kids who demonstrate the value of WOrk, HEalth and LOve.

The seasons of life. My daughter has begun a new one. May it bring great adventure, continued learning and pleasant experiences. However, this is life and we know it’s a roller coaster. There will probably be bumps along the way. She has heard the “Work hard, make healthy choices and love and respect others” mantra many times from her old man. It’s a blatant plagiarism of Gulick’s wise words muttered more than 100 years ago but, for all of us, as true today as ever. 

Whether we like it or not, there are always new seasons emerging. A time for everything. How about this week allowing WOHELO to be the one-word answer to the spirit we bring to the season despite whatever the season brings to us.

Pep Talk: "Thanks For Waking Me Up!"

Exuberant wife bounced into bed and disturbed my slumber late on a Saturday evening. She had been watching television but was now singing.  The business executive has many talents, carrying a tune ain’t one of them. “Honey, there were a bunch of songs from the 60’s and 70’s that were featured, including Kenny Rogers.”

That comment instantly took cranium to one of Rogers’ greatest hits, “The Gambler.” In the 1978 Grammy-winning hit, the legend croons, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold them; know when to walk away and know when to run.” Suddenly I’m wide awake and thinking about the handsome singer’s song and several things happening right now. Most have a constant refrain of fretting over “Knowing when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.” 

Let’s see: Victory’s A Stronger Cord wellness movement, existing and potential business opportunities, personal relationships and community partnerships. All center around relationships and sure make this aging jock grateful for those that seem effortless. Is it just me or do many require much effort and, seemingly, a constant analysis of best strategies and practices to achieve goals and overcome challenges? Whew, it can get exhausting, especially mentally and emotionally. Brain damage.

Navigating predicaments successfully seems to center on having courage, wisdom, insight and whatever positive trait is necessary to decide between two diametrically opposed feelings: acceptance or frustration. We get frustrated relationships, projects or proposals, despite best intentions from all parties, just don’t click as planned.

Let’s take a look at frustration, defined as: “a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.” Not much there warm and fuzzy, right? Now, a peek at the definition of acceptance. It’s a lot shorter and, just this knucklehead’s opinion, simpler: “to regard as true or sound; believe.”

Okay, which is preferred as we mull a variety of “stuff” effecting mind, body and soul concerning people, places or things not following the game plan or script? Do we want a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression resulting from unfulfilled needs? Or, shall we embrace whatever challenge lies before us as true or sound and just take that big leap of faith and BELIEVE?

The latter seems shorter, simpler and so much harder because it often requires a shift in our thinking.

Less than 12 hours after beautiful bride rousted me with off-key singing I’m sitting in an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting in support of a loved one. We’re at the well-known point where everybody recites, “God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Bingo.

Many times this week we’ll probably be faced with a choice: Frustration or acceptance? I’m gonna try like heck to choose the latter. I want to encourage you to try the same.

To darling wife, thanks for waking me up. Literally and figuratively.