Pep Talk: "Trash Talking Buddy"

“I tried to kill myself when I was 16,” said the young man now barely of legal drinking age. He continued, “My dad’s first reaction? Too bad it didn’t work.” Wow. Are you kidding me?

Your knucklehead scribe’s heart ached in hearing, from a smart but vulnerable soul now in a Denver-area recovery program, the most powerful of many horrible childhood memories. This good dude is active in A Stronger Cord. A buddy. Personally, there’s a sobering statement used too often these days upon learning the tragic stories of those on the comeback trail from whatever ails. This ol’ jock mutters frequently, “I admire you’re still trying.”

This sports fanatic was helping me pick up trash on the Union Baptist Church campus in northeast Denver’s Park Hill neighborhood. Each Monday night, ASC uses the basement gym sitting below a two-story school on the three-acre campus. In return, we keep the grounds clean. Two dudes were trash talking. One of the topics? America has too many marginalized and displaced folks. A major reason? The absence of nurturing families and mentors. We are products of our environments. If neglect, abuse and disdain dominate, the outcome should shock no one. It is rarely good. This bundle of human potential had been dealt a very bad hand. However, he’s making progress in becoming a student of the heinous experience and re-entering society with hope. 

“My counselor is amazed at my survival skills.” Amen, dude, I’ll certainly second that! As we continued the trash talk, my mind wandered to an earlier conversation about enduring life’s “thorns and thistles.” We all have them, although rarely as egregious. Regardless of the craziness defining our past, the question always becomes, “Are we going to learn from tribulations or allow a lousy past to constantly prick at the future?

What can we, as a society, do to encourage the growing number of folks who have had few, or no, guiding principles? Here comes the education received while earning a master’s degree in journalism from Mizzou: Keep it simple stupid.

What can we do? Spend time with those less fortunate. This Missouri native can’t resist: Show them a different way. In this super busy world in which we live, slow down and invest time in someone who deserves better. If struggling for ideas, please sample a free and inclusive wellness program emphasizing fitness, relationship building and community service in building a stronger cord to one another. For the past four years, ASC volunteers have been providing a sense of family that many lack in their valiant attempts to overcome terrible physical and emotional experiences. The Knuckleheads welcome you. We have a variety of fun, engaging and rewarding opportunities to serve others.

Just an ol’ fart’s opinion, but now would be a good time to heed King Solomon’s wise words muttered 3,000 years ago: “One will be overpowered, two can defend themselves but a cord of three strands is not easily broken.”

Together, for others like a trash-talking buddy, let’s replace hopelessness with hope and cherish killing any notion we don’t care.

Pep Talk: "A Great Personal Gift"

Your scribe was hanging out with fellow knuckleheads the other day when somebody asked, “Anybody got a praise report?” My hand shot up immediately. “Darling wife and I just celebrated our three-year anniversary. Guys, it’s a perfect example. If at first you don’t succeed? Try....try....again!”

The dudes present are in the Denver Rescue Mission's "New Life Program." I love these guys and cherish time with them. Through A Stronger Cord, they have become brothers and know my marital history well. I certainly didn’t plan on being married three times; didn’t plan on making life challenging for two beautiful kids (one from each previous marriage) but holy smokes, what a blessing the journey has become. Why? It opened the door for an amazing woman (together 15 years now) to enter. Stealing lines from the Little River Band’s 1976 hit, this blessed man posted on Facebook to the beautiful, smart and generous heart-stealer, “Happy anniversary baby. I got you on my mind!”

Life. A roller coaster of unexpected twists and turns. Often, leaving us wondering, “What? Why? Me?” Let’s hope, it also begs another critical question: “How to move forward?” Which leads to an even more important consideration: How to become a student, not victim, of the experience and prevail against what, currently, ails  body, mind and/or spirit? 

On the comeback trail, what to do in achieving goals and overcoming challenges? Here’s an idea. It was sparked from, a few days after announcing our wedding anniversary, listening to Denver Dream Center's  CB Barthlow encourage men living in a Denver-area halfway house. The dynamic speaker presented three ideas that warmed my marrow. I hope, yours too.

First, the pastor implored incarcerated men nearing re-entry to society (ASC works with them too) to, “Know who you are!” Amen. All of us are uniquely created with God-given gifts and talents. At least that’s what I believe. For many, those gifts have been buried beneath unproductive “stuff.” Still, with a little digging, those talents, can be unearthed. The wise man continued, “If money, time and circumstances were not an issue, what would you do? What’s your purpose?” Be honest. That’s a tough one to answer truthfully. Whether living in a mission, mansion or on Main Street.

Then Barthlow mentioned something so powerful in a second point: “Who needs to shut up?” Brother, double amen! Negative self talk? Association with other negative contributors? We need boundaries for voices, ours and others, offering lousy words in detrimental tones. Negatoids. They’re quite damaging.

After discovering purpose and building boundaries, Barthlow’s third point implored using “Any healthy and productive means necessary” to achieve goals and overcome challenges. Sometimes, you gotta get creative and think outside the box. Right on man.

How about remembering this moment as an anniversary of new thought? Of living life with purpose, boundaries and creativity? That terrific trio is a cord of three strands not easily broken and could be a great personal gift to use daily, not just once a year.

Pep Talk: "A Fire of Moo-mentous Proportions"

It was the usual Friday morning gathering of men trying to sharpen faith through fellowship, study and introspection when one of the dudes belted out, “Those are the moments that set things on fire.”

My mind immediately zipped to the tragic wild fires burning in California’s wine country and then jumped to a recent conversation that had stuck like glue. It was a chat centered around the origins of lighthouses. According to the storyteller, in ancient times long ago any voyage was fraught with danger and many, if not most, ended in shipwreck.

Ships crashing into rocks, debris everywhere and many lives lost. Ultimately, brave mariners came upon the idea to collect the shattered pieces, stack them in a tower-like formation and set it on fire to illuminate the coast for others ships seeking safe passage.

The storyteller, a Denver Dream Center staff member, was sharing this message to men currently living in a Mile High City halfway house. These are guys on the comeback trail and, soon, re-entering our communities. A Stronger Cord works closely with these men in encouraging them to use the wellness program to build a stronger cord to their families, purpose and communities. Also? The more fit, connected and giving they become? The better off all will be.

Anyway, the point of sharing the story about collecting broken pieces of ship wreckage, stacking them and setting them afire for future good works, was to encourage the men to look at their lives in similar fashion. It would be a good exercise for all of us. The past certainly has moments where it seems we crashed on the rocks. Illness. Divorce. Job loss, to name just three. Stuff happens. Debris is everywhere. It appears to be a total loss. Don’t let it be. Get busy collecting broken pieces, stacking and setting them ablaze for a better future! We must become students of life’s experiences, sift through the wreckage of obliterated plans and have the courage to put fear aside and allow wonderment to win. I know, simple not easy.

An example of that truth appeared recently as your knucklehead scribe was talking with a buddy who works as a Denver Rescue Mission chaplain. The energetic man was sharing the story of a woman gifted in spirit but nervous about speaking in front of others. What to do? How to overcome a fear of public speaking and pursue a calling to serve others in ministry?

Well, sometimes you just have to get real creative. The woman began speaking to a herd of cows on a nearby property! Who knows how much feedback was received from the feed lot friends but the practice did empower an aspiring pastor to rise above pubic speaking anxiety and become an accomplished orator from the pulpit.

This week, let’s be limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face. It can spark a fire of moo-mentous proportions benefitting us and those around us: two-legged and beyond.