This Week's Pep Talk Blog: "Opponents as Allies"

A friend recently needed a ride to a counseling appointment. I was honored to assist. While this wonderful human being chatted with a psychologist about life’s challenges I sat in the waiting room, reading. My attention turned to a recent edition of Psychology Today and an article about the three Emanuel brothers: Rahm, chief of staff to President Obama; the eldest Zeke, head of bioethics at the National Institute of Health; Ari, a Hollywood super agent and inspiration behind HBO’s hit show Entourage.

What jumped out at me was the atmosphere prevalent at the family dinner table as the three siblings grew up in Chicago. The conversation was always robust. Rahm called it “gladiatorial.” Zeke on the other hand, remembers the exchange of ideas within the Jewish family as more of a “Talmudic debate” where an opponent’s views are considered an ally in the search for truth.

I just about levitated from the comfy chair: to view an opponent as an ally in the search for truth? What a fantastic proposition! My thoughts immediately focused on our elected politicians. Imagine what they could accomplish if they began to view the views of brethren-across-the aisle as allies in the search for truth?

But a nanosecond later, my thoughts shifted to other areas where a similar philosophy of engaging the so-called enemy - instead of avoiding or disdaining them - might lead toward more harmony and goodwill: our homes, workplaces and communities.

As the Comeback Coach, I’m always talking about being “limited only by imagination, not fear, in creating productive choices to the challenges we face.” Often, when we’re in the midst of challenges at home, work or community, it’s quite tempting to dig our heels in and refuse – often out of fear - to consider a differing viewpoint. But in keeping with the Talmudic debate theory, could it be wise to embrace our perceived opponent’s thoughts as an ally in the search for truth?

It’s always been my belief that a willingness to consider diametrically opposed viewpoints can open the door, not for compromise, but for creativity in creating mutually satisfying solutions far greater than imaginable if one is left to personal thoughts, beliefs and opinions.

This week, let’s all take a cue from the Emanuel’s. When our viewpoints are challenged, embrace differing opinions as an ally in the search for truth. We can also remember the wise words of English poet Alexander Pope: “A person should never be ashamed to admit they are wrong, which is but saying they are wiser today than yesterday.”