This week's Pep Talk: "Worth the Effort"

Recently my son and I were driving home from a “watch party” for the Colorado/Nebraska football game. We were listening to post-game comments of the Huskers’ convincing win over the Buffs in their final Big 12 battle before each departs, respectively, for the Big Ten and Pac 12 conferences.

Over the radio, CU’s interim head coach Brian Cabral, who had led the Buffs to impressive wins over Iowa State and Kansas State since replacing Dan Hawkins, was talking about his chances of earning the job permanently. He mentioned that yes, he wants the job, but, “It is really out of my control at this point.”

As we drove quietly toward home, with the sun disappearing along the Centennial State’s purple mountain majesty known as the Front Range, Cabral’s “it’s really out of my control” statement permeated my marrow. It made me think of the Serenity Prayer that starts with: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

I first heard the prayer years ago while attending Alcoholic Anonymous meetings in support of a family member struggling with alcohol abuse. It’s one of those, at least in my opinion, “simple to say and affirm, but not easy to execute” kind of statements. The prayer is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian of the early-to-mid 20th century, who admits, “It may have been spooking around for years, even centuries, but I honestly believe I wrote it myself.”

The serenity to accept things we cannot change. Wow, two painful divorces, I fought hard to avoid, immediately come to mind. Each marriage produced an amazing child. Each divorce rocked their world. But with time as the great healer, this unwanted and unexpected journey has become a blessing in bringing a wonderful woman into my life. Son and daughter, now almost 21 and 14, adore her too. Along with my kids’ respective mothers and their new families we joke, “We put the fun in dysfunction.”

All joking aside, I do struggle with how divorce may affect the kids’ thoughts of relationships. I hope and pray my behavior in dealing with life’s disappointments – home, work and elsewhere – will always be an example to them of, as I wrote about in my third book, “turning lemons – heck with lemonade – into sweet and savory margaritas.”

Learning to accept the things we cannot change. Brian Cabral cannot change the disappointing outcome of a game where victory probably would have guaranteed him the job as CU’s next football coach. I can’t change two divorces, you can’t change – fill in the blank.

What we can change is perspective concerning life’s challenges. Let’s vow to encourage one another to never grow weary of being students, not victims, of our experiences. It takes courage and wisdom but is so worth the effort.