This week's Pep Talk: "Others Before Self"

The glasses were raised in tribute to a special person. The quartet’s youngest spoke first as the fourteen-year-old volleyball standout proclaimed: “Grandpa was such a good guy. He always made you feel so special.” The oldest member of the group dining at Elway’s/Cherry Creek on a Saturday night couldn’t hold back the tears in saluting a man and father, who died of lung cancer May 12, 2007.

As my daughter continued to speak of her Grandpa to the attentive crowd that included darling girlfriend and a dear family friend - I was the thorn among three roses - my mind wandered to Marvin Walter McIntosh Jr.’s final hours on this planet.

Those hours were spent in loving care at a Kansas City, Missouri hospice facility. The McIntosh children – four of us - had been summoned once it was apparent the end was near. I rushed to catch a plane from Denver to my hometown and arrived a tad later than desired: The 76-year-old gem of a guy had already slipped into unconsciousness. We had spoken many times on the phone in the days leading up to this moment so it wasn’t like there was anything left to be said. We were good to go as he prepared for what lies beyond physically failing to proceed. For the former sales executive, I would suspect it involves much golf on heaven’s finest courses - he’s deserved for sure.

It was then my turn to salute the mentor who played a huge role in teaching me to face adversity head on and never give up; the guy who, because of the example he showed in overcoming great obstacles throughout life, showed me the way to turn life’s lemons - the heck with lemonade - into sweet and savory margaritas. He was an excellent mentor.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I offered as a toast: “I’ll never forget, in those final hours, how Dad refused to die on May 11. There was no way he was going to pass on Matt’s - my younger brother - birthday.”

It has always stuck with me since that moment four years ago. We all were with him for those final hours, singing songs to him and embracing his barely responsive body. We knew life was fading fast but, in his final act before departing, a father once again demonstrated, as he did many times, to his children the value of thinking of others before self.

There’s no way, obviously, to confirm this observation, but I believe it’s the truth. It’s just the way he lived his life, thinking of others first. A father, mentor and friend, four years departed yet forever alive in spirit. He showed, until his final breath, the importance of others before self. I hope it makes him smile to know a son is trying like heck to emulate, and encouraging others to do the same, his example - home, work and elsewhere.