“Your dance moves were pretty darn smooth,” I offered to the listener via a phone conversation. The sharp-as-a-tack woman snorted, “I gotta remember I’m almost 80 years old.”
So began a recent wonderful conversation with Patsy Sue Perry, my mother, about a “Cupid Dance” at her new place of resident, Victory Hills, in Kansas City, Kansas. Tapping into journalism skills honed thru, almost, three decades, your simple scribe has acquired some sources within the retirement/independent/assisted living facility. Smart journalists never reveal their sources, but I got my hands on two videos showing Charles Perry’s daughter shaking a leg or two. Funny. Heartwarming.
I know there are many folks out there - thank you - who read these weekly Pep Talks and are in the same boat. How to assist, in healthy and productive fashion, in finding a special spot that can care for our aging parents and other loved ones? A new home that is warm, loving, nurturing and engaging. So far, so good for Patsy Sue.
Sure, there have been some bumpy times. Moving ain’t easy for anybody, let alone folks in their golden years. Fiercely independent. Letting go of that and embracing the possibilities of a foreign land is easier said than done. I get it.
The bunch of knuckleheads I gather with each Friday morning for Platoon always ask about Mom. We pray for her. Mother and son have established a tradition over the past several years of me calling her on the way to Bible study. It’s cherished. At least by me. Ma? Well, I think she enjoys most of the time, except when, her words, “You get to preaching too much, Mark David!”
Like many of you, I would suspect, when a parent throws in the middle name, rarely is it a loving remark.
Anyway, back to the story. I plopped down with about a dozen other men on a recent Friday while grinning, “Dudes, I’ve got a praise to report when it comes to mom.” I then went on to share information about the dancing videos and added another wonderful news item. The Victory Hills’ staff has asked mom to begin writing for the community’s monthly newsletter. Sounds like the articulate almost-octogenarian might accept the offer. “I’d like to interview other people who live here and write a profile about them.”
Sure sounds cool to me. I’d love to read them.
Lately, in phone conversations with Mom we’ve been focusing a lot on what Jeremiah had to say, long ago, in writing to those exiled in Babylon for 70 years. A mass of people, displaced, and not real happy about it. Kind of like what we run into sometimes with shifting a senior from a place they’ve called home to a new frontier. Some might consider that being exiled. Can’t blame them.
But what a prophet suggests, when talking about having the right spirit about being exiled, is worth pondering. In the 29th chapter of the Book of Jeremiah, it says: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.” A guy worshiped in the world’s three largest religions goes on to say, “Also, seek peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile.”
Wow. We all seem to be in exile from time to time, don’t we? We might feel exiled from our teenage children - that’s a biggie for me right now - an old friend, a former work colleague, spouse, family, career or whatever. Life rarely goes the way we planned, right? Unexpected and unwanted “stuff” pops up all the time leaving us to feel separated, scorned and forgotten. Exiled.
I think it’s telling us to make the best of the situation. Simple. Not easy. It has been impressive to watch how mom has accepted the challenge. “People love your mom’s energy and humor,” disclosed my source while zooming the videos my way via email.
There are moments in life where we just have to put fear and self doubt aside and go for it. Mom’s going for it in assimilating into her new world. To steal a few words from Jeremiah, she’s “seeking the peace and prosperity of the city” to which she has been carried into exile.
She’s building a life and settling down. Good for her. What about us? Perhaps we could look at life a bit differently? What we perceive to be exile, could it actually be, opportunity? To seek peace and prosperity in a new and different world?
Each Thursday in working with men at the Denver Rescue Mission, we always talk about embracing their time as program candidates. Many certainly feel in exile, from families and yes, even from the streets. I encourage them to seek peace and prosperity in their new world. Same to you, too. Maybe it’s this simple: Bloom where planted.
Have a good week!
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