Pep Talk: "The River Estrange"

“It doesn’t matter whether you’re an ‘insider’ or an ‘outsider’ we all have our issues.”

Amen. Amen. Amen.

These truthful words were uttered by a homeless man, sitting on a bicycle and entertaining an intimate crowd gathered in a smelly alley in downtown Denver. “It’s  interesting that most people I run into on the streets take a wide path around me.”

In the fifteen minutes spent with the man, Ray, much was learned: former Baptist preacher from California; has fought addictions to many drugs in the past; says only an occasional drink reaches his lips these days; prowls the alleys of the Mile High City’s lower downtown taking pictures and scurries around on his bike collecting sandwiches to distribute to fellow “outsiders.” Finally, and this was the true bonding agent to his attentive audience: “I’m trying to be a bridge builder between the insiders and outsiders.”

A noble quest. A mission shared by a caring teenager who was interviewing Ray and  whose curious mind created a project, “Clicks For A Cause.” The mission? Through pictures and words, raise awareness, compassion and understanding to homelessness.

“Not everybody out here is ‘addicted’ to something. We will never eliminate homelessness. Some, like myself, choose to be on the streets.” he told us. An impressionable and maturing 17-year-old, her mother as chief photographer and a simple dude from Missouri who each Thursday leads chapel service at the Denver Rescue Mission (we were in the alley behind the facility) were soaking in every word.

After the engaging conversation was over and Ray pedaled away, I could not get out of my mind, his comment: “Whether we’re an insider or outsider we all have issues.”

Heck, whether we’re talking about our homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, schools or wherever else we gather in groups, so often some feel on the “inside” and some feel on the “outside.” We’ve all felt those moments where others take a wide path around us.

I can remember having that type of feeling many times in life. Bosses at work suddenly becoming scarce and unavailable prior to learning that a job has been eliminated because of budget cuts. After head and shoulder injuries really screwed up my baseball career, a summer-league manager avoiding my calls about the pending season. A spouse emotionally distant before announcing a desire to depart a marriage and move on to new frontiers.

It sucks being an outsider and often ain’t so great on the inside either.

How do we build bridges between the two? Would “estrange” be a good word? How do we build bridges over the river “Estrange?” Let’s define it as, “To turn away in affection or feeling;  make unfriendly or hostile.”

Well, I’ve been called a lot of things in life, smart rarely one of them, but it seems a good place to start building a bridge over the river Estrange is to engage one another and do more listening than speaking.

In speaking on this subject during live Pep Talk presentations or facilitations, what has always jumped out at me is the importance of listening with an attitude of seeking creation of new thought, not compromising on old ones. Fresh ideas.

That’s what is so admirable about the soon-to-be high school senior’s passion behind “Clicks For A Cause.” She’s trying to create new thought, especially for kids her age,  about an old issue that, back to our buddy Ray, “ain’t going away.”

We could use plenty of new thought about old issues that aren’t going away. Let’s start with our state and national politics. How do we build bridges over the river Estrange to lessen the unfriendliness and hostility? One idea has been brought forth about changing how we vote. I support it. It suggests eliminating primary elections and giving us, the voters, three choices, in order of preference, for state and national offices with the winner having to earn a majority of the votes. It’s not as complicated as it sounds. You can get more information at www.changepoliticsnow.org.

That’s just one example. Few would argue our political system needs to improve. There are many other challenges before us as well. At home, work, community - local, state, regional, national and international. Back to Ray, “Whether we’re on the ‘inside’ or ‘outside’ we all have our issues.”

This week, let’s take a cue from a homeless man on a bicycle, an ambitious high-school kid armed with camera and recorder or a private citizen disgruntled with the voting process. How about taking action against the ongoing threat of turning away in affection or feeling? How about being a voice of reason against hostility and unfriendliness?

Build bridges over the river Estrange. We’re not going to advance without them.