Pep Talk: "Three-Way Success Test"

Out of the blue an email arrived recently. The subject line stated: “Thanks for Lemons Into Margaritas!” As an author, I’ve written four books, “Lemons” was number three, published several years ago. The email came from a woman struggling from addiction and self doubt: “I just finished reading your book and wanted to thank you for the power of the Terrific Trio. It's really gotten me thinking on my future. I don't know where it will take me, but I am excited to continue my journey!”

The woman’s heartwarming correspondence left me curious about what had been written long ago titled “Terrific Trio.” So, I pulled out a copy of the book and took a trip down memory lane:

I was watching a re-run of Saturday Night Live as the cast mocked Eliot Spitzer’s embarrassing 2008 exit as governor of New York. Watching this took me back to the actual day and the live television reports of his sudden fall from grace. 

The leader of the Empire State held a press conference announcing he was resigning for having a relationship with a prostitute. This unfortunate incident is another example of someone who seemed to have it all: great wife, three beautiful daughters, powerful job, and—until that day—a solid reputation. What we now know is that he also had self-destructive tendencies—demons, if you prefer. 

I think we all have our own demon(s) and a key aspect of leading a successful life is that we keep our demons in check. Those demons might be power, money, shopping, gambling, or alcohol—alcohol being mine, and one I continually work at keeping at bay. Bottom line is, without persistent monitoring, self-discipline, and character, within each of us is the capability to self-destruct.   

Watching the politician’s resignation announcement reminded me of the Comeback Coach’s simple (but obviously difficult) three-way test available daily to help us avoid the shame, guilt, and misfortune that self-destructive demons can bring into our lives.   

You know it by now, but some things are worth repeating: Make a solemn vow that you will entertain only those thoughts, words, and actions that honor you, nurture those dependent upon you, and add value to the communities you serve. This terrific trio of strong character traits will go a long way to help prevent painful, Spitzer-like plummets from goodwill to disgrace. 

Fast forward to the present and US Olympian Ryan Lochte. What was he thinking? Whatever went through the celebrated swimmer’s mind in the early morning hours of Rio was far from honor, nurture and add value. But let’s remember, we’re all a bunch of knuckleheads, often one step from stupid.

Lucky for us, it’s usually not splashed all over media for the whole world to judge and condemn. However, the one thing we share, whether famous or not, is the ability to grow and become superior to our former selves from painful experiences. 

An unexpected email sparked remembrance of “Honor, nurture and add value.” The three-way success test will help us achieve goals and overcome challenges. Take it often. Today, tomorrow and forever!