This week's Pep Talk: "A Soothing Salve"

I was driving toward my darling girlfriend’s place when thoughts steered toward my teenage daughter. An amazing eighth-grader full of so much: potential, beauty, intelligence, hormones and, most scary, a fascination with boys. Ugh.

Since I’m such an annoyance these days – what father of a teenage girl isn’t? – the call goes unanswered. I wonder, is the talented volleyball player staring at her phone pondering, “Nah, I have no desire to talk with my old man.”

I listen to her maturing voice inform me to leave a message. I oblige with the following: “Sweetie, this is your old man. I know things have been a bit rough of late with the ‘boy’ thing, but please don’t get caught up in the drama. It’s just not worth it.”

For whatever reason my mind jumps to an old song I remember singing years ago on the elementary school playground. It was a goofy song boys would sing about girls and then, girls would sing right back at us:

“Boys are made of goofy, goofy gopher guts, mutilated monkey butts; chopped up parakeets, french fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood, that’s what boys are made of.”

I’m sure, thank goodness, that song is rarely, if ever, uttered today on school playgrounds. It came back to my vividly when thinking of my daughter’s introduction to the wild and wacky world of relationships: a roller coaster ride with unexpected and unwanted twists and turns along the way. I finished singing that silly song, included “Love ya Sweetie” and one final thought: “I know it’s real easy for me to say ‘don’t get involved in the drama’ but also know, easier said than done.”

I parked the car and, for a brief moment, sat in stillness contemplating what I had just said to one of two – her older brother the other – people I think about constantly hoping and praying for their well being, Parents do that concerning kids, right?

We want to protect them from pain, of any kind - even middle school crushes. At the same time we know it’s all part of the journey and rarely can be avoided. I hope she realizes she’s not alone. We’ve all been there. If then hits me, a reminder of one of life’s most important truths: When crappy stuff happens, we often feel isolated, regardless of our age.

In moments of “Why me?” when forced to confront life’s lemons, reaching out to other like-minded folks takes courage, do it. Be vulnerable, bold and encouraging. Give hope and confidence to, and draw strength from, others who share similar experiences. It’s a soothing salve – home, work and elsewhere – for what ails us. Someday I hope darling daughter embraces that truth.