Pep Talk: "Gentle and Forgiving"

It was a Friday night in the Mile High City. The cat at the door whining for the backyard, the Rockies, on opening night, battling Houston in a game Colorado eventually won and I’m finally getting around to reading Wednesday’s Denver Post. An article in its front section rattles the skeletal system.

It’s a story about, what appears, a tragic accident in the northern Denver suburb of Thornton. A distracted driver hit a man and two sons walking along a rural road. Father and one son perished, the youngest boy survived but experienced the passing of his father and brother. Tough stuff.

But here’s what blew me away in reading the article by the Post’s Jessica Fender: The presence of forgiveness. Yeah, the victims’ kin, instead of unleashing anger and fury at the man who veered from his lane, chose to respond with: “Everybody’s hurting. It was a perfect storm of things happening. We realize it was a horrific accident. Our hearts go out to him (the driver) and his family.”

Wow. It sure makes me think of the power, and benefit, or letting go of negative energy expended when life’s challenging moments leave us bitter, angry and resentful. Anybody winning there?

Now granted, this family’s incredible response will be tested as the reality of its loss sinks in. The respected stages of grief suggest it’s okay to be angry, your world has been rocked. The big question becomes, “How long are we gonna dwell in negativity?”

When blessed to be speaking with others in a Pep Talk coaching situation, I like to offer: “We have to decide whether we’re going to be victims, or students, of life’s unwanted and unexpected situations.” And yes, while origins of “What the heck is going on around here” moments vary, I would like to suggest, strategies remain the same. There are four critical things we must do, as quickly as possible, in trying to turn these, as I wrote in my third book, lemons into margaritas:

Forgive and learn
Rally with like-minded folks
Encourage one another to move forward
Transform in ways honoring, nurturing and adding value to communities served.

When it comes to dealing with life’s crap, I like to call it, just my opinion, the “Fantastic Foursome.” What are the other options? We see them often don’t we? Ten years post divorce, or other misfortune, we observe, or demonstrate, burrowed bitterness? It’s just one example but you know what I mean. There is probably no greater gift than the one of forgiveness. In the world’s best-selling book, in Colossians, it says, “be gentle and forgiving, never hold a grudge.”

Where this week could we take a cue from a grieving Centennial State family? Where is it time to finally let go of the past and focus on the present and future - home, work and elsewhere? Again, venue doesn’t matter, strategy does. It starts with being gentle and forgiving of others, and self.

Good luck!