"Extend or Unclench"

It’s been interesting to observe discussions, pro and con, to President Barack Obama’s recent overture toward Cuba after almost half of century of strife with our Caribbean neighbor. This is not to say the overture is right or wrong, but it reminds me of our 44th president’s inaugural address. When speaking to our country’s adversaries, he said: “We will extend a hand, if you unclench your fist.”

I found that to be the most profound statement America’s first bi-racial president made during that historic moment in our nation’s capitol. It struck me as powerful because of, at least in my opinion, what it represents: action from each opponent in trying to find common ground.

It’s one of the three core messages the Comeback Coach delivers in each and every Run to Daylight presentation: We have to “hand off” this notion we can go it alone in life, that “teamwork is the key to success.” I believe that’s true whether we’re talking about peace and good will among nations, families, employees or citizens of a community.

Quite often we find ourselves on opposite sides of an issue with no apparent solution in sight. That’s when we have to realize that EACH of us must take action. One must extend a hand, the other unclench a fist. We must open up the space of possibility that lies within each and every one of us to shift from whatever is, to what could be, in transforming potential – home, work or community - into prosperity by becoming superior to our former selves.

Where in our lives is there continued strife that will only be solved by deciding to extend a hand while an adversary – spouse, significant other, child, parent, neighbor, co-worker or whomever - decides to unclench a fist? Or vice versa? It takes two to tangle, right? Where might it be time to quit blaming each other and take action to build a bridge, not maintain a barrier, fostering healing, growth and transformation?

Reaching out in this fashion takes tremendous courage. You might have to let go of long-held beliefs, stop the blame game and the other party might reject your offer. They might refuse to unclench their fist.

But guess what? They might welcome the attempt with open arms! This week, take inventory and find somewhere in your life where it is finally time to extend a hand in the hopes a long-time adversary will unclench their fist.