This week's Pep Talk: "Be a Good Man"

Father’s Day 2011. I have sired two wonderful children allowing membership into the fatherhood fraternity. The oldest, son Kyle, is 21 and lives and works full-time in Los Angeles. We were on the phone recently talking about life and family. He asked about his youngest sister Rachel, 14-years-old and devoted to volleyball, and other family members.

Then the conversation switched to two men, one middle-aged, the other young, and the importance of, while having fun, trying like heck to make healthy and productive decisions about life - home, work and elsewhere. The conversation centered on a young man’s social life. Many of us - at least I do - know from personal experience it involves many late nights and an occasional overindulgence of drinking and other activities that have us, often the next day, wondering: “What the heck was I thinking?”

Father and son were chuckling about a Facebook profile picture Kyle had posted, briefly, showing him, after an especially productive day at work, celebrating with cigar and a drink. I asked him, “What are you drinking?” His response, “Scotch”, made me think of his grandpa, my father, Marvin Walter McIntosh, Jr.

My old man loved Scotch too. I have never taken a liking to it preferring beer, wine and margaritas. We hear often that some traits “skip a generation” within families, right? Well, apparently a fondness for Scotch permeates the genes of my son like it permeated the genes of my father. After my son offered testimony concerning enjoyment of an occasional Scotch, I recounted a story about his Grandpa that brought a smile to my heart and laughter to his soul.

My father used to organize, from his Kansas City, Missouri home, golf trips to Arizona each winter. Many would convene in the warmth of the desert, escaping the cold of Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado for a weekend of golf and fellowship. “Mac” as everybody called him, was always the tournament organizer and, in the end, commissioner. He would handle disputes whenever they might arise between friendly, but very competitive, participants of the “Desert Shootout.”

I told my son about Grandpa’s celebratory mood one evening after a particularly good day on the golf course. “Hacker Mac” had won a few “skins” and was festive, which meant the Scotch was flowing freely. Many were gathered in the bar area of the golf course, when lo and behold, a man who embraced life to its fullest despite its challenges - emotionally, physically and financially - leaped out onto the dance floor and started tap dancing, in golf spikes. Well, it made quite the clatter, inspired others to join in and left an imprint, certainly on the dance floor floor, but also within my soul concerning how much my father, who passed in 2007, loved life, golf and hanging with his buddies.

I hope someday my son has similar fond memories of the time we spend together. Marvin, Mark and Kyle McIntosh, three generations of McIntosh men. Each bonded by genes, two by Scotch and the one in the middle blessed to recall a great father who inspires him daily to play like a champion in the game of fatherhood.

Thanks Dad, you showed me the way and it is good. I love you, think of you daily and hear, especially when it comes to how I conduct my life, you whispering to my soul: “Be a good man.”

On this Father’s Day 2011, Dad wherever you are, I hope you don’t mind me sharing this story with others, especially fathers. I hope it encourages them like you encourage me.